The Rise of Wine Moms: Why Mommy Wine Culture Is a Toxic Trend

To (some) of the moms out there, you know the drill. The clock strikes 6 p.m., the children are finally quiet, dinner is pretty much ready, and it’s your favorite time: Wine O'Clock! There's nothing quite like the first sip of that crisp, ruby-hued liquid, a moment of calm amid the beautiful chaos we call parenting. But what if we told you that science suggests trading in those merlot moments for something less intoxicating? Let’s explore “mommy wine culture” and some of the practices that might serve us better.

What Is Mommy Wine Culture?

First things first — what exactly is “wine mommy culture” and what is a “wine mom”? With many of us having embraced the identity of the "wine mom,” it’s more than just a social media hashtag — it’s become a cultural phenomenon. Stemming from a mix of pop culture, marketing strategies, and social media influence, “wine mom” has become an identity for many moms across the world. 

Mommy wine culture has been nurtured by a flurry of humorous memes, Instagram posts, and tongue-in-cheek products bearing catchy slogans like "Mommy's Sippy Cup" or "It's Wine O'Clock." Etsy alone has over 67,000 “wine mom” products for sale! 

This playful portrayal of moms resorting to wine to cope with the stress and chaos of parenting resonates with many women, making them feel seen, heard, and understood. For many, it’s an amusing and seemingly harmless way to express solidarity and camaraderie in the often overwhelming journey of motherhood.

At its core, "wine mom" culture tells us it's okay — and even expected — to rely on a glass (or bottle) of wine to handle the challenges of parenting. After all, a little buzz can make the mundane more bearable and the tough times less tense. It also offers a veneer of relaxation and sophistication, glamorizing the consumption of wine as a deserved reward after a hard day of wrangling kids. Parenting is hard, and after a few sips — thanks to that hit of dopamine and calming balm of GABA — we feel fuzzy, warm, and happy. 

A Slippery Slope

It’s all in good fun, right? Actually, it’s not that simple. Consistent alcohol consumption, even moderate, can cause our brains to adapt: we need more to feel the same effects. This is known as tolerance, and it's a slippery slope to increasing our intake without realizing it.

More wine means more ethanol — the active ingredient that gives us the fuzzy warm feelings — but it also has some prickly effects. The liver metabolizes ethanol, turning it into acetaldehyde, a toxic compound that’s a free radical. These free radicals can damage our body’s cells, leading to a variety of health issues such as liver disease, cardiovascular problems, and cognitive decline.

Moreover, while that initial relaxation might feel nice, alcohol is a depressant, which means it can lead to increased feelings of anxiety or sadness over time. And, let's face it, no one signed up for that!

When Mommy Wine Culture Becomes Toxic Mommy Culture

These dangers are the reason why normalizing “wine mom” culture is so risky. Studies going back to the early 2000s have shown a spike in alcohol use disorder among women. A 2018 study conducted by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) reported a rise in alcohol-related trips to the emergency room, with women making up a greater proportion of these increased visits than men. 

Moreover, a 2017 study in JAMA Psychiatry showed that high-risk drinking among women — that's when they down four or more drinks a day — jumped by a whopping 58% in the last decade. 

In a way, this is a new manifestation of the “mommy’s little helper” phenomenon of the 1960s, when benzodiazepines such as Valium became the center of a seemingly innocent trend. And COVID didn’t help: according to a 2020 study by RAND Corporation, heavy drinking in women shot up by 41% compared to pre-pandemic levels.

Humor as a way to cope with stress is an important part of this trend — and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is in the fact that it’s misdirected. As addiction therapist Erin Stewart told Good Housekeeping, “Wine mom culture says that the best and the only way to mom is with a glass of wine in hand … [it] also tells us that motherhood, and parenting little ones, is unbearable and brutal without the ‘mommy juice’ to ease the tantrums, the messes, the lack of sleep and the overwhelm of it all.”

Embracing the “Wonder Mom” Approach

So how can we redirect our wine cravings into something more beneficial? We can fill our evenings with mindful, nourishing activities that feed our soul and create memorable moments.

• Be aware. Acknowledge the role of wine in your daily routine. Recognize the physical and emotional impacts.
• Make a plan. Establish a new routine. Initially, it might feel strange, but keep going. Our brains are incredibly adaptable and will eventually form new habits.
• Trade in your wine glass. It’s no secret that parenting is stressful. But instead of reaching for the wine, what if you reach for a paintbrush, dip into a novel, or spend a quiet moment on the porch, watching the sunset? Engaging in mindful activities can decrease cortisol levels — the primary stress hormone — and increase the levels of serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters associated with happiness. Finding new activities that you enjoy can also boost your cognitive health by challenging the brain in new ways. Plus, this way everyone wins! Just imagine your kiddo's pleasure when they join you in painting, reading, or star gazing. That’s a Hallmark-worthy moment right there!
• The power of connection. Changes are easier with support. Find a friend who’s willing to join you on this journey to make it easier to avoid the pressure to drink. Share your experiences, successes, and challenges.
  
  It's important to remember that not all drinks are created equal. Beers, wines, and spirits can vary significantly in their alcohol content. A light beer might only be 4% alcohol, while a high-gravity craft beer could be upwards of 10%. A typical table wine might be around 12% alcohol, but a fortified wine like port could be closer to 20%. Always check the labels when possible to get a better sense of how much alcohol you're consuming.‍
• Celebrate. Celebrate your progress, even the smallest victories. Remember, change is a process, not an overnight event.

Set Your Sights on Something New

Picture a new scenario that’s every bit as exciting and meaningful, just without the hangover. Maybe you’re roller skating in the park, stopping for some refreshing lemonade. Or maybe you snuggle under a blanket in front of the TV, sipping on cocoa while watching sitcom reruns. Either way, there’s so much to enjoy about being a parent — and the best gift of all, our kids will enjoy it so much more without alcohol getting in the way.