Sober October Extravaganza!

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Kevin: Welcome everyone to another episode of the podcast that brings you people's stories and ideas about how we can work to reframe our relationship, not just with alcohol, but with stress, anxiety, relationships, enjoyment, and so much more because changing our relationship with alcohol is about so much more than changing the contents of our glass.

This podcast is brought to you by the reframe app reframe is the number one iOS and Android app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol. It uses neuroscience to help you reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest, happiest you. My name is Kevin Bellack. I'm a certified professional recovery coach and the head of coaching at the reframe app.

Steph: And I'm Steph Prangley. I am a nutritional therapy practitioner and a coach over at reframe. So let's get started. Kevin, what's new with you?

Kevin: What's new with me? Uh, Not a lot at the moment, at [00:01:00] least, maybe too much to share, I guess, but at the moment, because of our topic, I have my, one of my October Death Wish coffee mugs and my Pumpkin Chai coffee, uh, from them. So, I am excited because this is the first, uh, one I've tried this year so far.

Steph: The first, the first pumpkin themed drink of the year.

Yes.

Kevin: It's a special day. Exactly. And there's only one. The Death Wish Pumpkin Chai is amazing.

Steph: That sounds really good.

Kevin: Not, not sponsored or anything like that. Uh, but just that one in particular is my fave.

Steph: Not sponsored, but we'd be willing to talk, right?

Kevin: Exactly. I would be.

Steph: Um, what about you? Yeah. So what's new with me?

Um, I've been working on, um, this is like a business related thing over at the sober rebellion, but I've been working on launching this fourth quarter program, um, to help people kind of stick to their [00:02:00] alcohol goals, but more, um, more like address nutrition as we head into the holidays and to the new year, because I, I see so many clients who just like throw the towel in, in the fourth quarter because of the mess of the holidays and everything.

And they're just like, screw it. I'll start over on January 1st. And, and we're actually going to do a podcast on that in terms of. Like alcohol cutback and alcohol free. Um, but on the nutrition side, it's like, wouldn't it be great if you just went into the holidays, able to enjoy it and enjoy the chaos and you know, everything like that.

So I'm really excited about it. Um, so yeah, just getting ready to launch that and hopefully it will be a success and I, I'm just, I'm super pumped for it. So I've been really, really busy, um, all of third quarter leading up. To produce this program, like I'm going to do like menu, like meal plans and everything.

So it's going to be like pretty comprehensive.

Kevin: Yeah, I know that [00:03:00] it's never good whenever it's like November, middle, middle of November or something. And I'm already thinking like, eh, well. I'll just wait for the new year. Like, no, like, I usually kick, I can kick things off to like, well, Mon, I'll wait till next Monday and stuff like that.

But whenever you go out like a month and a half, that's never good. It's like, how can I stay focused? Uh, so that sounds like a good idea.

Steph: And like make it easy and practical, right? Because it's like you won't have the capacity to maybe pay as much attention to it. So that's how the like the program structured to be really, really practical, like not fancy recipes or anything like that.

But like, what can you throw together in a crock pot that's supportive of your blood sugar regulation? So your cravings, not just for alcohol, but like when you're. Like there's piles of cookies and desserts around you and stuff like that. It's just, there's nothing wrong with having those, but there's a difference between like wanting something sweet and having it and enjoying it.

And like, then you move [00:04:00] on with your life and like falling face first into it because you haven't eaten properly that day and you have these cravings and you like need it, you know? So that's kind of what we're trying to. Avoid with this program.

Kevin: Yeah. Um, I know cause I did two years ago. I did my 75 challenge, uh, encompass the holidays.

I did it on purpose. Because I think in October I was already in that mindset of like, well, and I'm like, no, let's just finish out this year strong. I did my. The meal plan that I had for myself, like it was not anything super restrictive or anything like that. Um, because I wanted it to be more sustainable.

Um, but still it was helpful to keep me on track. So I, yeah, I always find those things.

Steph: Yeah, just having like a little bit of structure and even if you're just accountable to yourself, it's like, I want to follow through on this because I told myself I was going to, you know?

Kevin: Yeah.

Steph: All right.

Shop Talk. In this segment, we [00:05:00] talk about a recovery related topic that's on our minds and yours. We hope to cover the topic from all angles and land somewhere actionable and helpful. And we'll do our best to be concise, but we are like zero for three on that so far. Uh, maybe this is the one. If you have a topic you'd like us to cover on the podcast, please send an email to podcast at reframe app.

com. And we will keep your submission anonymous, of course. And if you're on the reframe app, you can just shake. Like shake your phone while you're in the app and send a note that way. So today it's the sober October extravaganza. And I named it that because I'm a big fan of RuPaul's drag race. And I've just been waiting for an opportunity to use the word.

Um, that's how

Kevin: we need some special theme, theme music for this, uh, for this one.

Steph: Yeah. Add it in, add in like. to see that walk or something. [00:06:00]

Kevin: I'll see what I can do.

Steph: You could find, he goes like, Ooh, girl, if you find that.

Kevin: I'll have to figure out all the copyright issues with maybe with, with some of that. But, uh, Oh

Steph: yeah.

I imagine he's extremely litigious, so I think I'd like to be careful there. All right, um, so, Sober October, extravaganza. Let's get started with some of the benefits of taking a month off of alcohol. Even for, you know, long term drinkers and heavy users, um, you know, there's still a lot of benefits that you can...

That you can realize in just a month. And so I looked this up and it's kind of all over the internet, but I just, I mean, I think it's like insane to list this stuff out. So, um, first of all, cancer risk decreases, your nutrient [00:07:00] status will improve. Uh, your sleep will be more restorative. It'll be easier for you to fall asleep, stay asleep, and you'll feel more refreshed when you wake up.

Um, even blood pressure stabilizes, your skin will glow, your hormones will start to rebalance. Uh, in terms of mood, like you'll have a brighter outlook, a more stable mood, reduced anxiety, less irritable, um, more confident, memory improves, stomach lining heals. Decreased inflammation. Anything else?

Kevin: Ah, liver fat reduces.

Nope, you said that, I think. Oh, I did not say that. Yeah. Yeah, liver fat reduces up to 20 percent in those four weeks. Um, yeah, and I feel I don't want to be Debbie Downer but I [00:08:00] always feel like I have to like, I don't know, like caveat it all with Like maybes, right? It's like, you know, results subject to each individual person's own unique circumstances, right? Because, uh, you know, sleep, you might get your quality of sleep should improve, right? Um, but you might still have trouble falling asleep. It depends on, you know, how alcohol I think with all these things, I think it depends on how alcohol was present right before. So if you used alcohol to fall asleep. It might be a little tougher to fall asleep, but you should get better sleep overall because, you know, you don't have alcohol disrupting your REM cycles and, not allowing you to get into those until later in the night or, um, or waking you up in the middle of the night.

So, I think, all of this stuff is based on a lot of other factors that go into it too, but I think the, you The, [00:09:00] uh, all of the, the research and the studies show that, you know, 30 days without alcohol is very beneficial, regardless of whether you see all this stuff right away or not, it'll.

It would come, right? I mean, eventually, like, you'll see, you know, these to some degree, I do believe

Steph: good point. Yes, we do need to caveat that. Um, because it's not a guarantee. And like, I still have trouble sleeping. I have to do a ton of stuff. Like, I take magnesium. I take, um, like a supplement with, uh, altheanine in it.

And then I also use CBD oil sometimes. And it's like, and then I listened to Some kind of true crime book, audio book, and then they talk me to sleep with serial killers. So,

Kevin: I'm sorry, your, your sleep stories are true crime, uh, sleep stories. Nice.

Steph: I feel like there's research on how many people will fall asleep to forensic files [00:10:00] and that's not.

I always do, like, if I'm in a hotel or something, I'll always put forensic files on to fall asleep to, but I am not the only one, like, this is not a unique stuff thing. I don't know what it is about that, it is, well, it's spooky season, we're doing Sober October, so. There you go. It's on brand.

Yeah.

Kevin: Yeah. No. Hey, that works. Whatever works. I mean, uh, as long as it doesn't, you know, start popping into your dreams or nightmares, then, you know, I think you should be good.

Steph: It's worked so far.

Kevin: Yeah. Um, you know, but I think People go into it looking for benefits of removing alcohol for a month, or it could be a kickstart to removing alcohol, period.

Um, or, any of those things, but, give it a chance and realize that it's not, some miracle cure or pill or anything like that where, oh, I'm gonna lose all this weight.

My skin's gonna glow. I'm gonna be, you know, I'm gonna sleep for 10 hours without [00:11:00] disruption and, and so on and so forth. Right. Um, you know, 'cause I know I hear a lot of people., talk about the weight part, too. And it's like, Oh, I thought I would lose so much weight. And, you know, they don't realize maybe that their cravings for sugar go up.

Right. So, okay. How do you balance that? And what do you do there? Um, but also, it's not a 1 to 1. It's not like I take this out and then, uh, I This happens because we have to factor in, okay, if I take this out, I may have to replace it with something depending on, the calories and things like that.

Not to get into specifics on calories and that, but if you take out, if I'm, if I was drinking like, say a thousand calories a night or, on occasion even, my body's going to be looking for that. Um, So, how do you, balance those types of things?

Steph: Right, and it always makes sense to me when people feel a lot hungrier after they go alcohol free.

Not just like the sugar craving thing, but in general, because it's like, you know, alcohol [00:12:00] prevents the absorption of nutrients. And so, Even if you eat really healthy and you're still drinking, like your, your body loses the capacity to like assimilate those nutrients and actually use them. And so I actually don't think that maybe gaining weight in the short term, isn't the healthiest thing anyway, because.

You know, your body needs these like foundational materials in order to heal itself. So, um, yeah, I really try like on the nutrition side, I really try to get people to like be patient about the weight, because if we're in this for health, the most health promoting thing you can do would be to remove or reduce the amount of alcohol you're drinking.

And like the other stuff can kind of wait, right? Like it's still, you don't want to take it to an extreme, but like, especially in the beginning, it's way healthier to just. Ate a bunch of sugar or whatever you need to get through and then you can address that later on, right? Yeah. Like that's another, just peeling back the onion or whatever.

Kevin: So I think we'll get into that a little bit in the tips too, but. [00:13:00] You know, I was going to mention the, or we can mention that the, uh, going into it and asking yourself, why, why am I doing this? Am I, am I doing this just as a challenge? I'm just taking a break from alcohol. Cause it's showing up more lately. Am I, you know, looking to kickstart a cutback journey? Am I looking to kickstart being alcohol free? Am I doing this for my health? Am I doing this for. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Right. I mean, it's what, what is the, um, reason I'm going into this and focusing on that and realizing that, uh, if it's for your health, removing alcohol for 30 days will, or 31 days, I guess, uh, will help that, right.

It's not going to hurt.

Steph: Yeah, definitely not going to hurt. And one of my favorite benefits of, of it is like the confidence piece. That I can't remember if I mentioned, but just confidence in memory, improving or, you know, TBD, but that is something that people, you know, experience. And [00:14:00] for me, like going alcohol free, like the confidence piece was a big part of that.

And I think even if, if you've never done anything like this before, or if you're cut back and want to try a month off, something like that, it's like. You'll just feel so accomplished by, setting this goal and following through on it. A lot of times that's all it takes. Like you were talking about your 75 hard during the holidays one year.

And it's like, I don't know when you're done with it, you get like that attaboy, like pat on the back and the more and more you practice it, the more and more you build up like the self confidence and stuff like, Hey, I could do that. Or I didn't miss it as much as I thought that was weird.

You know, that kind of thing.

Kevin: And I, and I say, it's not gonna, you know, if it's for your, if you're doing it for your health, let's say, it's not gonna hurt. Right. The one caveat I'll throw in there is just, uh, the fact that,, going cold turkey, , can be, harmful if you are at a point where you're dependent on alcohol, or if you're, you're drinking at a certain level and removing it totally, um, could cause, You [00:15:00] know, withdrawal symptoms and and health concerns there, that's where, being mindful of that and talking with your physician, talking with medical professional related to that and, can be helpful.

Or, should be. Taken, uh, that step should be taken if you're, if you are concerned about that. And if you are, do experience any, uh, withdrawal symptoms, um, and also too, that's kind of like where, you know, we did dry January at the beginning of the year, we also did damp January. Right. And, and, you know, I know this is a podcast, uh, related to sober October, but I like to just throw in that, uh, as well, where, you know, doing a damp October could be, you know, another, um, Way to go.

If you aren't quite ready yet, uh, to remove totally, or you do feel like, you know, by removing it totally, it could be, uh, you know, potentially have negative consequences. Um, but I do believe even if you [00:16:00] do that, go that route, the tips that we're going to give, um, Would still, you know, be applicable there as well and and you will see benefits still too.

Steph: Yeah, it's definitely a good opportunity to do like a damp October and just yeah, these tips will totally apply and it'll give you an opportunity to just Start reducing like we recommend reducing 10 percent each week or something like that and at the end of the month, you know There you go. You're almost half of where you were when you started And that could be your kickstart, you know, going into the holidays, feeling good.

Okay, should we move on to tips? Sure. All right. So we have 10 tips to prepare for sober October or your damp October. Um, Whether it's your first one or you're a pro, I think it's always good to revisit stuff like this because, um, even if you [00:17:00] have some, like, long term sobriety or cutback under your belt, I think you can also use these tools to try a new goal for October, um, and if not, I think it's just fun to think about, like, how far you've come too, because I remember preparing for my first month of being alcohol free and it was like, It was work.

It took a lot of like, it took a lot of intention and a lot of planning. And I don't know, it's nice to revisit just how far we've come sometime too. So, um, so my first tip is to approach it with curiosity. When you're moving through your, your sober or your damp October, maybe journal out some of the emotions and stuff that comes up for you.

Um, You know, like if you're having a triggery day or something like that, maybe you can, instead of judging yourself, like, Oh, I shouldn't feel this way. You know, I, I shouldn't like all the sheds, right? Like, I shouldn't feel like I'm so dependent [00:18:00] on an alcohol or like, I miss it that much or anything like that.

Just I like to approach that from a curiosity standpoint where. You think to yourself, like, what is it that I really need at this time? What is it my body really wants? And, you know, I talked about, like, last week, I think, just feeling like I was romanticizing alcohol because I have all this stuff going on and my knee surgery coming up and everything like that.

And it's like, what do I really want? Like, I want to feel better and I want to escape that feeling for a moment. And I can just sit with that and say, Yeah, like it would be easier to pick up a drink and forget about it for a couple hours or whatever, but it's still there the next day and it's not going to make it any better.

And if anything, it's going to hurt my, my ability to heal. So, uh, approach with curiosity and even the good days too, like what made it a good day and, um, yeah, and go from there.

Kevin: Um, yeah, I totally agree. And I'm, [00:19:00] uh, and that's, that's the one where, uh, that we duplicated on, um. You know, because I, I said something similar to that, and so I'll just double down on, on what you said with, um, you know, seeing where, you know, we talked about triggers, right?

What, you know, what might have, have stirred up a, a craving for alcohol. Um, and. You know, like Steph said, getting curious about it, uh, but ask yourself, like, okay, where did that come from? How can I get through it? How did I get through it? And looking at how can I better handle that in the future, right?

, don't just get through things and... Look back and, just be like, oh, okay, that happened, right? I mean, look at it and come up with solutions and, uh, don't just get through them and forget until the next time it comes up and surprises you and be like, you know, like write this stuff down think about it.

Say to yourself, like, oh, next time that [00:20:00] happens, or if that happens again. I will do this, or I can try that and just coming up with those things can be so helpful to, get you through, because right curiosity I think is important because recognizing that we've done things for a long time and in certain ways, uh, I know for me, I drank for 20 years, and whenever I tried my first sober October, um, in 2018, like I, I definitely, um, had a lot to unlearn, I guess, or to, to get through. And, you know, I, I just didn't give myself enough time to. Be like, Oh, I've been doing this for 20 years. It's going to take a little bit of time to figure out, where all these things lie, all these triggers, all these cravings might lie.

Um, don't beat myself up just because something pops up.

Steph: Yeah. It also gives some insight into, um. Like emotional [00:21:00] dependence on the substance. I think I was constantly surprised at what would pop up for me when I first gave up alcohol. I had done a ton of these like 30 days, 60 day challenges and stuff like that with no alcohol, but it was always with the intention of going back and drinking.

Moderately. And so you can kind of white knuckle it through that when there's an end point in mind. Um, and that's why I wanted to, like, kind of encourage people doing a sober October, even if it's their, you know, their first time and they plan on continuing drinking, um, to get curious about that stuff, because I just imagine how much different my life would have been if I would have.

that curiosity earlier on.

All right. So my next tip is to try new things. Um, this is where you do as I say and not as I did. Um, so think about things that you wouldn't or couldn't do [00:22:00] while drinking. Um, so I like the idea of being a tourist in your own town. Like, I guarantee there's stuff for you to do within like probably an hour or two radius that would be.

Steph: Really, really fun and interesting that you wouldn't think about when you're used to just going to the bar and watching football or whatever. Um, I thought about like taking a cooking class and exploring parks, um, trying a new creative outlet. That is something I did. I started doing pottery, but I'm thinking about the times that I was just talking about where I would take 30 days off or 60 days off with the goal.

Like always knowing I would return to being a drinker. And I just like kind of became a hermit and hung out with myself. And I'm like, well, this is my time to focus on me and whatever. And I just never really entertained the idea that there was this whole world out there that I just. Didn't care to participate in because my activities pretty much centered around drinking or the bar.

Like you get in those, those [00:23:00] routines, those habits. And that's like, even in alcohol free life, I do this where you like, forget to go and try new things, you know? So maybe that's a tip for all of us.

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. Um, I like the whole, be a tourist in your town too. Um, because yeah, we think we, we get into a rut, right.

And we do the same thing over and over again. And, um, so that's a great idea. Uh, I think my, my next one would be Progress over Perfection, um, that, that Sober October I referenced in 2018. Four days, made it four days and October was over on October 5th. Whenever, well, yeah, October 5th, I believe I drank, um, October was over.

I was like, all right, well, I guess I'll try November. Um, and that was literally what I said. Like I was, there was no thought in my head that. I was going to continue [00:24:00] on because I wasn't perfect. Um, and, progress over perfection is so cliche, but just because, you may, if you have a slip, like we call it slips, right?

If you have a slip and you drank, um, October's not over. So go back to tip number one, which is be curious about it. Go back and look at it and figure out what might've happened. Uh, and how would you do it differently the next time? And then, and then do that. And then, uh, try that the next time and work through it.

Um, but get back, get back to it, right? I mean, this isn't about, uh, perfection at all costs and it doesn't, you know, so this is about, I think overall, like learning about how alcohol shows up and you're not going to learn. If you just give up after, you know, potential slip, uh, so progress over perfection,

Steph: it is cliche, but it's, it's that way for a reason because we live in a world where we think that we need to be [00:25:00] perfect or we screwed, we're just like these giant screw ups and, we just like throw in the towel and it's over. And I run into this with nutrition clients too, where I'm like there is no perfect diet. And it's, if you, ate past fullness or you had more sweets than you wanted the day before, it like doesn't mean that you're broken.

It's just, like. Move on with your life, it's over and yeah, learn from it, you know, and then do like, go back to eating what makes you feel good the next day. It's not the end of the world. And I think that's one of the biggest things that holds people up. In a lot of different areas of life, not just what we're talking about, like kind of in the health space or whatever, but in general, I think, you know, we can say it until we're blue in the face, but it's different hearing those words and understanding them and agreeing with them and like feeling them in your gut and like having that permission to, um, to not pursue [00:26:00] perfectionism really, you know,

Kevin: Yeah, um, and, and have that permission, but it's not, and I say this cause I always worry when I talk about that, that, you know, it's not that I'm giving permission for you to, Oh, well, Kevin said, you know, I don't have to be perfect.

So I'm going to have a drink tonight. Um, that's not like that voice, you know, that's where you stop and get curious about it. Be like, Whoa, what else can I do right now? That's, that's when you go into other tools that we can, that we'll talk about. Um. You know, it's not about giving yourself permission to drink because, Hey, I'm only four days in and I could start again tomorrow and all that.

Those voices are going to come like those voices will be there talking along the way and it's about when it does not, when, if it does happen, allowing yourself to keep going, right? You hear all the, the analogies Like if you, if you're going to run a marathon, you fall down on mile six, you're not going to go back to the starting line. Right. You just keep, you get up and you keep going. Um, [00:27:00] but, uh, yeah, so just wanted to add that into.

Steph: Yeah, I like that. I like those analogies too. They stick around the community because for a reason.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good point. I think what we're trying to say is that, you can hold yourself accountable without beating yourself up over a slip. And the most important thing is, To not let it, turn into a multi day slip or a full relapse or something like that.

And I think that's where this progress over perfection, because for some people, it's too scary to say a whole month too, you know? Yeah. So. All right. My next tip is to plan ahead. Um, so thinking about social events like Halloween and stuff like that. And your witching hour, everyone has one. Um, we call it the witching hour in the community when you're like sort of used to picking up your first [00:28:00] drink.

And that's when your, um, you know, your brain kind of kicks in and says like, Hey, we're used to a drink right now. What do you do in witching hour? For a lot of people, it's when they get home from work and then they pour that glass of wine while they start cooking. That's a lot of people's experience. Um, So it's going to take some preparation to plan ahead.

I recommend filling your glass with something else or doing something in between when you get home and when you would normally open that bottle of wine. So it can be something like five minutes of, um, jumping jacks and pushups and sit ups or something like five minutes. Okay. Have you done a jumping jack as an adult?

Cause I used to think they were like, BS and then now I'm like, my body's cracking and

Kevin: yeah, like throw out my neck. I'm not going to talk shit about jumping jacks with my current, uh, uh, current state. So yeah,

Steph: so maybe [00:29:00] something more gentle if you're old, like we are, but those are my suggestions for witching hour.

And then of course, eating out. Um, I like to look up menus that had a time for restaurants, especially in the beginning, I would see if they had a dedicated mocktail list or like advertised non alcoholic beers and stuff like that. Um, if they don't, you might want to try to find a place that does. So you don't have to deal with the anxiety of like trying to figure out what to order or, you know, having like a server communicate with the bartender to make you something interesting that's alcohol free.

It's just like a lot of noise. Um, so you can just pick a different place or there's like someone in the reframe community actually called a restaurant ahead of time and said, Hey, I see you don't serve nonalcoholic wine. Do you mind if I bring my own bottle and I'll just pay you a corking fee or something like that?

And they were totally on board with that. Um, so those are kind of the things that I'm thinking about as the [00:30:00]main, the main things to plan ahead for any kind of social event that witching hour and. Uh, and eating out and going out because you don't want to be a hermit either.

Kevin: And I love the looking ahead, uh, and kind of combine this plan ahead with try new things too.

Uh, because if you go to that same spot that you always go to, that you always, you know, I know early on I had to, you know, we were looking at going at one to one of these restaurants, uh, local. As soon as my wife suggested it, my brain was like, Ooh, thinking of all the things that I could drink there and, and all that.

I'm like, you know what, let's go somewhere else. Let's go to a different, a new place that I, I don't have that, uh, thought process or history with and try something new because you know, when you're in those old familiar environments where you used to drink, that's what you're going to be thinking about a lot of times too.

So change it up, [00:31:00] you know, and trying new things can be kind of a good add on here, but yeah, planning ahead. I like to. Start that in the morning, uh, look at my day. What's my day ahead look like? Do I have a tough day at work? Am I going to be super stressed when I get home? Probably. Uh, you can't always, you know, determine that, but okay.

Well, what do I have when I get home? What am I going to do? What are some things I can do if I'm, or if it's the weekend and it's wide open. All right. Well, I better fill it with something. Uh, otherwise I'm just going to sit around and want to. Maybe have a drink, uh, because I'm bored. So planning ahead is huge.

Steph: Yeah. Also a good point that I don't think we have as our tips, but keeping your hands busy, , can be really important, especially, when you are like, you're not gonna go out every night. Well, maybe some people do. I'm, I get burned out of social time pretty quickly. But, you know, if you're the kind of person who's at home, and you usually like kind of have a couple glasses or beers or something while you're watching TV, what else can you Put in your hands.

Like, [00:32:00] I have a friend who did puzzles to quit drinking. This was like decades ago but she like did all these puzzles and she framed them and put them up around her house and stuff. Cause she's like, I know I'm going to need something to keep. Keep me busy. And, you know, this is fun. It challenges my brain and it's, whatever.

It's distracting. So yeah, that's good advice. Yeah. I'm planning like the starting in the morning and it is important to evaluate our day. Cause sometimes we can anticipate how we're going to feel when we come home. As an introvert, if I have a ton of meetings in a day, even now it's like, I know I'm going to be like burnt to a crisp in the evening.

So I need to plan something for that. Like. restorative yoga class or, walk with the dogs. I'll delegate dinner to my husband, like the stuff sounds so basic, but I think we forget about that aspect of taking care of ourselves. Just. Piggyback on one of our last episodes, prioritizing ourself, but that's part of the plan ahead process to like, what can you [00:33:00]shovel off to someone else in your household or at your job or something like that?

Kevin: Yeah. And piggybacking off of, I mean, we're just, these are all so interconnected. I think that. You know, the, the first one about being curious, journaling through emotions, journaling, you know, what did you do to get through that? Like finding those solutions. Whenever you're planning out, go to those solutions.

What are those things that I do when I'm stressed? What are those things I do whenever I'm excited and I want to celebrate something? What are those things I do when I'm, uh, feeling down or whatever, like having different options, based on how you're going to feel is good because a. We never know how we're going to feel at any given point in time, perhaps, or things can impact us along the way each day that changed that.

You know, something that I'm going to do to celebrate is not what I'm going to do when I'm feeling stressed, perhaps.

Steph: Yeah, I like that. Keeping kind of like a matrix of different, you know, maybe your top, like, [00:34:00] triggery emotions. And... Something else that you can do instead of that. And I know for me, I mean, this was more applicable when I quit smoking, but I made a task list, like this task list of things that would take anywhere from like five to 20 minutes, because you have the dopamine thing with nicotine too.

There's just something about having a list and then feeling a trigger or a craving and then going and just selecting whatever feel like you feel like doing at that time. So it's important to have like diversity in that and then you get to cross it off. And like that alone gives you a little, like a little hit of feel good hormone.

So it sounds so basic, but that's because. A lot of times it's this basic stuff that works. Like you just need to distract yourself, keep your hands busy, plan ahead, like all this stuff it's. It's effective, just because it's kind of boring. So,

Kevin: yep, it's all, it's all the boring stuff that works.

Um, [00:35:00] but that kinda, you know, so what we just talked about kind of leads into my next one, which is like digging a little deeper in to identify what you're feeling at any given moment. Uh, I think getting more curious, I'll stop using that word eventually. Um, but digging into and identifying, you know, how you're feeling, because yeah, I feel that we.

We bucket things into good or bad. Uh, I had a bad day. I had a good day. Uh, we could have had a good day the entire time. And then one bad thing happens at the end. And guess what we're remembering. We're remembering we're, we're lumping this into a bad day. Um, so I, I think. Identifying, like separating some of those things out and, and, uh, but, but diving a little bit deeper into emotions that we're feeling, like I used to say all the time I drank because of work stress.

Well, you know, if you go to, I know I always go to [00:36:00] feel feelings wheel. com. I'm sure there's a bunch of feelings wheels out there, uh, but go check it out if you've never seen one, uh, because like the middle of a feelings wheel looks something like. You know, there's like a few emotions, right? And there's like, I'm angry.

I'm happy. I'm, I feel bad. I feel sad. And then you branch out to the second level of the ring and there's like, okay, well maybe I'm angry, but am I frustrated? Am I feeling let down? Like, what is it? And then guess what you go out to the next ring and say, well, if I'm frustrated, am I infuriated? Am I annoyed?

Like that's a note being annoyed is a lot different than being angry. I think like, you know, there's, it kind of tampers the, the emotion down a little bit. And then you can do, then you can do something with that. Right. You can say like, oh, why, why am I annoyed? I mean, what's that about? Like what happened that.

I'm, you know, annoyed at something like, Oh, well, my boss did this or, this person cut me off or [00:37:00] whatever. And it kind of can diffuse a certain, uh, maybe more negative emotions. I don't like using good and bad. Um, but you know, more negative, cause I don't feel any emotions are bad. I think there's a reason we get angry.

There's a reason we're sad. There's a reason we're happy. Um, and. You know, they're useful in their own way. Um, but I think, you know, just digging a little bit deeper and kind of diving into that a little bit more and learning to identify our emotions better helps us be able to handle them better. Um, but it doesn't work unless we actually, you know, are mindful of it.

And each day, you know, maybe this is part of a little journaling exercise or whatever, like what were some of the emotions I had today? How was I, how am I feeling right now? And write that down and be like, okay, well, can I get more specific on that? Um, but then you recognize like, Oh, I feel bad, but you know, I was really stressed and I was annoyed.

So when I get annoyed at work, that's maybe a trigger for when I get home to want to, to have a drink. But okay. How can [00:38:00] I fix that? Maybe annoyance or change it a little bit. Um, just something to. Think about and work on, I mean, that's, I'm doing this for four years now. So it's a never ending process because I still get in the rut of the big emotions.

Um, but you know, it's, the more you do it, the more easy, easier you can pull out that, uh, that thought of, okay, let's go to the wheel and just see, uh, how can I. Make this a little bit more specific. Um, I don't know what are your thoughts on

Steph: that? I love it. I love the feelings. We all, me and my husband went to marriage therapy when I decided to go alcohol free.

That was like one of the first things she handed us. She was like Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. And it's like they try to make it look nice with all the colors but you're like, yeah. I really like that because A lot of people don't know what you mean when you say dig deeper. So if you have something to reference and you can say like, I [00:39:00] feel pissed off and then you can kind of break it down.

But then you get to uncover, like once you get to that third rung, you can say, okay, why do I feel annoyed? And I'm annoyed because my boss, blah, blah, blah. But why does that annoy me? And you keep drilling down because you can go down like five levels from there because it might turn out that you feel like you're disrespected by your boss and underpaid for your work, or you're not recognized for your work.

And like, that's really what's annoying you, but it's just triggered by this email he sent you or whatever. And there's something you can do about that too, right? Like you can talk to your, your boss. This is such a hypothetical example, but, you know, you can just talk to him and be like, Hey, I don't feel like I'm, respected in the workplace.

And, you know, I'm just looking for some feedback. Am I like, is there anything I can do to improve? You can do it in a way that's about them, but seems like it's about you. If you want help with corporate speak, I [00:40:00] am your girl. I am so good at it. And that is depressing, but yeah. Um, no, I think that's great.

Kevin: That's a good point. Like, you know, finding those things that you can, uh, why do I feel this way? What caused it? What can I do about it? Even if it's something, some small thing, like every time my boss emails me like this, or stands over my shoulder when I'm doing something, like I could say something, right?

I mean. Maybe you can't, maybe you've said something before and they're oblivious and they just ignore you, but, it's finding those, um, finding those things, to at least try.

Steph: Yeah, at least try. And if not, you can accept it and, and come up with an action plan from there and just say, I've tried to have this reasonable conversation with my boss and it hasn't improved.

And what are my next steps? Like I can either let him continue to have the power over me and have me. Leave annoyed and [00:41:00] pissed off every day, or I can accept it and just like, that's who he is. Or I can update my resume and start looking for something new. Like a lot of times, just making that plan is enough to make you feel better.

Even if you don't do anything with it, just feeling like you take back some control of the situation. You can tell we're both from corporate. I know.

Kevin: Yep.

Steph: Okay, so my next step is, or my next tip is to find your community. So in Reframe, the Reframe app, we have groups that you can join for the challenge. We always do like a Sober October, uh, guided challenge. You can enlist a friend or family member to join you. And if you feel like no one's going to join you or you don't want to put that pressure on someone, you can honestly just tell someone else you're doing it and see if they'd be willing to support you and just check in with you to see how it's going.

I feel like [00:42:00] the vast, vast majority of people who are successful at things like this realize that while it's our responsibility to take ownership over this part of our life, we can't do it alone. And we're the only one who can do it. But you know, like we, like finding a community is really key, even if it is just for the month of October you can get on sober Instagram and search for sober October hashtags and find some new accounts to follow.

Um, I mean, really it's up to you to try to find a community or friend or family member to join you, because it's just more fun to do it with someone else too.

Kevin: It is. Um, yeah, I started out with my first community was Instagram. And it wasn't for, it might, I didn't get that until a couple of months in too, but that became part of my community.

And I have my core group of friends from that. Um. You know, who I support me, I support them, and all that. But [00:43:00] yeah, reframe has the built in community meetings has built in challenges that you can do, each month for, with, by yourself or with a group. But that group adds that level of accountability.

It adds that level of support, asking what did you do last night, whenever you got through that, like, how did you do it? I don't. Ever pretend like I know all the answers are I'm always looking for new ways of doing anything. Uh, because I think building up that, that toolbox, as we call it, building up the tools that we use, is like a never ending process.

So always be looking for. For new stuff. Uh, and yeah, even the forum in the app too, you can just reach out and message and be like, Hey, this is how I'm feeling today. Or I had a great day or I had a bad day or, you know, um, but if you say you had a bad day, make sure you're specific after you go to the feelings wheel.

Um, what kind of bad, yeah. But yeah, support is everything, even if it's just one other person. And a lot of people on the reframe app I hear, like, I don't have [00:44:00] anybody in my real life who does this, uh, and that's where things like reframe, things like Instagram, things like other communities, uh, are so crucial, but just to see that you're not alone, just to see that you.

Uh, you know, you're not the only person dealing with this stuff or working to get through this or, you know, any of that. So,

Steph: yeah, I mean, alcohol, like excessive alcohol use or whatever you want to call it, it's so stigmatized. And so, that was 1 of the things I really loved about reframe and having a supportive community like that is that.

You say you talk about some experiences that you've had when you're drinking and things that maybe you regret or feel shame about or whatever, and no one's judging you. And like, everyone's done something like that, you know, they can, it's relatable to almost everyone and. Um, I'll tell you, I had a really close group of friends.

We all got sober within a couple [00:45:00] months of each other and that saved me, like that group saved me from a slip. Like I had like bought the wine. I went to the cabin. I was by myself with my dog and I didn't. Tell any of them about it, but I knew that I would have to, and because I wouldn't be able to lie about it, you know, and so that was one of the things that motivated me to dump it out.

And then I talked to him, then like I got one of them on the phone or something like that. So, um, and I'm really proud of myself. Like, I'm proud that that happened, but. It's important, especially for people that are like used to being so independent, and I would put myself in that category where I've been burned a lot, and it's just easier to depend on yourself and it's scary to welcome people in your lives, but it's so, like you said, it's crucial. Like that's the right word for it. Um, at least one other person that you can count on.

Kevin: Yeah. Yeah. And I take back that Instagram was my [00:46:00] first like group. I, cause I got a therapist, uh, when I first started. So that was kind of like my other person I could talk to about it.

Um, but I would say like Quitlet, like books were kind of my first groups. Cause I would listen to those podcasts too. I would listen to those in the car. On my way to and from work. And I would always, you know, I'm listening to these people's stories, along with tools and tips that they give, but like their stories.

And I always heard, something that I related to, every drive, I always heard something like, like, Ooh, I feel that. Even if it's totally different. Like even if your life and my life are nothing like, not the same at all, you just like the emotion or any thoughts, I could be like, Oh yeah, I felt that before.

Um, and you know, take, so. It can come in many different forms, uh, usually when they're, not just listening to a book, or something like that, it's better if like it's in person or, uh, over zoom or over, social media or something like that, where there's some interaction, [00:47:00] perhaps, uh, that's probably preferred, but, you can also find connection other places too.

Steph: But not everyone's ready to even talk about it. So even if your community, even if what you're considering community is. Like joining the, like joining reframe and hanging out on the forum under, you know, a random name and joining, joining the zoom calls under a random name with no video or whatever, like, that might be the only level that people are ready for too.

So. I guess we should probably honor that too with finding your community, like whatever level of comfort that you have with that. But I mean, I agree. Like, and once you start sharing with people, it becomes a little bit addictive. Uh, just talking about this stuff with someone else who understands, like finding people that understand it.

Is like the most, and it's just so important. It's crucial. It is. It's essential.

Kevin: Yeah. I would have been, you know, early on, I would have been the person who just went on the zoom call, no camera. It would have said [00:48:00] iPhone and I wouldn't have said a word. Uh, and then maybe eventually I would have gotten into the chat and said some stuff.

Maybe eventually I would have shared, but, um, you don't have to. So,

Steph: yeah, there's always like 10 iPhones on the meeting, so it'd be in good company.

Kevin: Yep. Uh, so my next one was, uh, to reward yourself, um, plan to reward yourself with something. I will say non alcoholic, uh, along the way, uh, weekly on the weekends at the end of the month.

It just find things that motivate you, find things that you can use to, reward yourself because you know, this isn't easy. Uh, especially if we use alcohol to reward ourself for things like, that's why I would like, don't start out on sober October and on November 1st, uh, [00:49:00] just let loose and, you know, make up for everything that you've didn't drink in October, right?

Take the opportunity to, find other rewards along the way, uh, celebrate that. First week celebrate that, Hey, I got through a weekend without alcohol, but celebrate the weekend too. Like, what can you do that you enjoy, make a list? What do I like doing? What do I want to do? What can I do?

That's a reward. Uh, whether that's, just going out with a friend, going to the movies, going, I'm not going to list things because everybody's different. Right. Um, but finding those rewards. Are so important to just to motivate you and you can make it as big as you want or as small as you want, uh, if you want, if you want to, you know, have a set a goal and have that reward and have that be a focus for the month.

Like, Hey, if I make it through this month, I'm going to, uh, get this or do this. Um, I think I. [00:50:00] That's helpful to, again, learn how to reward yourself without alcohol.

Steph: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Hit up that Lululemon, people.

Kevin: Yep. Yeah. And that's a good point because, along the way it's like, if you're in the reframe app or whatever it tracks if you say this is on average how much I drink a week and how much I spend, like you can see the money adding up over time.

Um, you know, mine is very high right now, but obviously I don't reduce it by the tattoos I bought justifying or, or the coffee or the coffee mugs, or, you know, all the things I'm like, well, I'm not drinking anymore. So, yeah, I'm putting this money over here. Um, I'm in the black, at least I'm not, not in the red.

I don't think, but, but yeah, you can put that towards something else. You can use that. Like, I know I did that.

Steph: Yeah, I did tattoos too. And I hired someone to come clean the [00:51:00] house once a month. Like that's my favorite thing that I spend my non drinking money on.

Like, and I'm, you know, I'm still ahead even with that. Um, but that was one of those things where I just, I didn't want to be, um, I didn't want to like deep clean stuff. And that felt, it felt more important to me to spend my time doing other things than, than that. And I mean, that was. It's a privilege, but I mean, it's definitely well within what I spent in a month on alcohol or alcohol, ubers, junk food, like all of that combined, because it's not just the alcohol, but we were spending, you know, 20 one way to go.

A couple miles across town so that we didn't have to drive, you know, and it's like that, that's what adds up. You do that a couple times a week. And then over the course of the month, you definitely get your shopping spree at Lululemon.

Kevin: Yeah. And you might've been coming home after drinking and going to [00:52:00] Lululemon anyway, clicking, you know, it's like those purchases too.

Uh, yeah.

Steph: It's true. . Yeah. Or stopping at Taco Bell.

Kevin: It's been many years since I've done that, so

Steph: yeah. . Um, okay, so my final tip for you is to set up your environment, uh, your home environment. So, stock up on your non-alcoholic beverages. If you have any remaining alcohol in the house, we. recommend dumping them.

If you don't want to quote waste your alcohol, you can gift it to someone else. Or, if you're with someone who still drinks or you plan on, wanting that alcohol later on or whatever, just hide it somewhere. It isn't normally Like not front and center in your kitchen or something like that.

Um, if you can have someone else hide it for you, uh, just out of sight, out of mind and other things I like to suggest to you, [00:53:00] like besides the non alcoholic beverages, and we can talk about some of our favorites for that. Um, but you might feel a little bit tired at first too. Just the first couple of days, a lot of people experience fatigue, myself included.

So part of your setup could also be making sure you have like groceries and maybe some food prepped so you can make sure that you're, you know, getting like some nutrients and stuff, but you don't have to work too hard at it. And of course there's nothing wrong with just like ordering takeout or whatever, but, just making sure you have food on hand because.

You might need a little more rest than you're used to the first few days and just want to make sure you're getting like basic needs met too without it being a huge pain because that, like hungry is a huge, like a huge trigger for a lot of people. So, you know, you come home from work, you're starving and you're exhausted while it's a lot easier to just pick up a bottle of wine than it is to cook a meal from scratch or even wait for someone to come deliver [00:54:00] something.

So, you know, I think. That's part of the plan ahead too is making sure that you have some easy, like somewhat nutritious grab and go food on hand, um, ahead of time.

Kevin: Yeah. Like setting up your environment food wise, I mean, I think in atomic habits, he's talks about if you want to eat healthier, don't put Your unhealthy snacks, out front and center and then your apples buried in the crisper, right?

I mean put your apples in a bowl on the counter or you know and hide the other things It's the same thing like that's where removing alcohol out of sight. Maybe not out of mind, but Again, it's not that extra mental gymnastics that you have to go through to, to, Oh, I opened the fridge and I saw a bunch of beer, right?

Nope. I'm not doing that right now. Like if you remove it, you open the fridge and you see maybe some food that you want a snack that you want, right? That'll help that craving right there. And it's just, again, it's helping yourself out, [00:55:00] uh, as best you can and environment too, like recognizing

where, when you might drink, I used to go down to my basement. I have big screen TV, I had a fridge and I would go down there at night and, uh, my fridge was fully stocked and I could just do take stuff out of there or, get whatever I wanted.

So I took the stuff out of the fridge and I replaced it with non alcoholic stuff. And one of the things that I noticed is I didn't like going down in the basement anymore. I stayed upstairs because going down in the basement in my head was. That's the environment where I drank most, so, you know, being mindful of that and even if you have a studio apartment and you have one couch or one chair and, but if that's where you drink, if I drink on the right side of the couch, can you.

Switch to the left side. Like it's the little things that make you more uncomfortable, a little bit uncomfortable, maybe move your chair over here and that's what you read it in the morning, you know, making different [00:56:00] connections with your environment, uh, can be important. And I'm throwing out, you know, random things with furniture and stuff around, right?

This is, these are like little. Uh, perhaps, um, tweaks, but just recognizing that our brain has connections. Like we have done things a certain way. So you are going to connect with your environment in very specific ways that you might not even realize. So looking around and taking a look and noting how you feel along the way.

Uh, you know, at certain times when you get a craving, where were you? Uh, you know, that's, that'll get curious about it. Well, I went down to the basement and I got a craving for alcohol. It's like, Oh, well that's where I always drank. So, um, you know, trying to reshape your environment in those ways too, can be helpful.

Steph: No, that's really, really good advice. I actually, I don't think it's like random that you're talking about the furniture stuff, cause I've heard of people like rearrange their furniture because of it. [00:57:00] And it's, it's very, it's what you're, what you're suggesting is just. Taking yourself off of autopilot and like, even switching to the left side of the couch from the right side or whatever it is.

It, I mean, I imagine just the trauma of sleeping on the other side of the bed. Like we get used to like these patterns and they are, they're like deeply ingrained in our brains. So that's really, really good advice. And it's, again, it sounds so silly, but it is effective. Um,

Kevin: yeah. And that just made me think too, of like driving home.

From driving home from somewhere at work or, you know, picking somebody up I drive home from the gym and I pass this place that I always stop at, well go a different route. Right. I mean, again, there's always, I always kind of think that's not the greatest tip, but that goes with the are ingrained habits, right?

Like if I always go this way and I always stop here to get something to drink, you know, if I go a different [00:58:00] way. I might not think about it, there's always a way like there's alcohol going to be everywhere along every route, gas stations or whatever, depending on where you live, um, you know, so, so it's not like a foolproof plan, but that goes along with the changing your environment, changing your habits type of thing.

Steph: Yeah, because you're like used to seeing your gas station guy at that time of day or whatever. So even if you're driving by a different one, it won't trigger that same response. Yeah. Yeah, really good advice.

Kevin: And then I think, uh, last but not least is, uh, and I probably should have, reordered some of these.

Uh, but you know, I was thinking, ask yourself what you want to get out of this experience and then revisiting that often throughout the month. So, you know, what is, you know, this is like, we, we talk about the reason why you're doing this, whatever it is you're doing, what is the reason? What's that? Why? Um, but ask yourself, like, what do I want to get out of this experience?

You know, what do I want to [00:59:00] get out of removing alcohol for 31 days and then write that down, put it somewhere on your phone or somewhere that you're going to see it every day and post the note on your mirror or whatever, and revisit it daily, but also add things you notice along the way as well.

Like, Hey, you know, my sleep's not great. But I noticed my, my skin looks clear or, you know, whatever it is like, uh, just noticing those positives along the way. Like I woke up with a little bit more energy today. And I didn't have as much stress as I usually did when my boss did this. Uh, and just focusing on

your why I think is, is important to, help you through the month. So just to remind yourself, why am I doing this in the first place? Because if you don't go back to that and look at it, it's easy to just be like, well, whatever it is next month or, whatever. But having that strong, why, is important.

And also this is where I was thinking I should re reorder it. Cause I was thinking [01:00:00] of the rewards, uh, again, it's like. How can you maybe tie the rewards that you're, you're giving yourself with your Why, your Why is health, like maybe at the end of the month, you're going to get yourself a massage or, you know, you're going to splurge for the, the instant pot or, you know, something like that.

Like, but, but tying, tying the reason why you're doing this with rewards too, can be a nice little combo, um, to help you through.

Steph: Yeah, um, I'm going to take this a different direction, because the first thing I thought about was if I would have asked myself why I was taking months off before I committed to being alcohol free, like my answer was, would have been, I've been drinking too much and I need to dial it back.

And in order so I can, like in order to drink again, but not like be in the cycle of getting wasted all the time and like that should have been a red flag for me if I just would have asked myself that question it would have brought some [01:01:00]awareness that maybe I was more dependent on alcohol than I believed I was, you know, because I was still in that mindset of I just need to dial it back.

I just need to dial it back. Like, it's just been. You know, it's been because of COVID and I've been drinking too much and it's COVID's fault, and like never really thinking about why I was taking that time off to begin with, because it was always to drink again in a more controlled manner, and I do believe that some, that people can cut back successfully.

Some people can, but I think that would have put like, just, I don't know, raise, maybe raise some red flags for me. I don't know. You're not ready to hear it till you're ready to hear it. So it may not have been, but tapping into the why's, always good advice.

Kevin: Yeah. And I think, you know, it's same thing as the feelings wheel, you want to dig a little deeper.

Right. Uh, well, I've been drinking too much, so I want to, I want to cut back, okay, but why? Well, because, you know, it's impacting the way I'm, I'm feeling more sluggish lately and, [01:02:00] I think it would help if I, uh, had a little bit more energy. Okay, but why? Well, with that energy, I could do this, you know, and just keep asking that, that, but why question, and, and it's all about digging deeper, apparently, um, whether it's because we're so surface level, I think.

Okay. That we don't like to, we don't like to dig cause we don't always want to know either. Um, so I think, yeah, I think going, going a little bit deeper to kind of have that, uh, challenge yourself. This is, this is a challenge, right? So for October, uh, challenge yourself to come up with that reason because it's there, like you said, like it's, there's, there is that deeper thing.

You might not be ready to totally hear it, but, um, you can still come up with it and see where it goes from there.

Steph: Yeah. And, and you even said like revisit it throughout the month, because I'm sure you run into this with clients too, but [01:03:00] they start off by saying, you know, you ask them they're wise and then start off with like my health and my family and whatever, and it's like, we got to go deeper than that.

That's not going to be enough. Um, when things get tough, it really isn't. You, you want it, like you really want it to be, but, um. But it, it evolves right along with you and even in the, I think in the short span of a month of a challenge like this, like damp or dry, um, you know, those reasons why are gonna like totally evolve.

So,

Kevin: yeah, yeah, definitely.

Steph: All right. Anything else for tips?

Kevin: Uh, just, you know, again, going back to the progress over perfection, just, looking at it as, and when you get to the end, I would say even if it wasn't perfect, right? Because nothing's perfect. Like, yeah. Okay. If you didn't drink, you know, it's over October and the goal was not to drink.

Then yeah, sure. That's perfect. Right. But, [01:04:00] but, you know, maybe how did you do it too is, uh, a good indicator as well. But look at. If you did have a slip, if you didn't get through all the way, look at the previous month, like how well did you do? Like, okay, I stuck it out in October and I kept, kept working on it, kept going back.

And I didn't drink 27 out of 31 days. Whereas the month before I didn't drink, uh, only 10 days out of the month or, or two or none, just looking for that progress and it's there.

Steph: Yeah, I totally agree. And I mean, I think we all know that what is not motivating is when we feel bad about ourselves. So, any way that, like, sometimes it's a mind game too, but when we're talking about this progress over perfection, that's another reason why we're saying stuff like this is because if you slip and you feel like a total loser, it's, it's going to be so much easier to just throw in the towel there.

But [01:05:00] if you see it as progress, like maybe last month you had zero days where you didn't drink or you couldn't do more than one day in a row where you didn't drink or something like that. It's like, you got to find what's going to motivate you and keep you. Um, built like building that self esteem.

Like that is such a huge part of it too, is believing you can do it. And even when you slip or even if it wasn't, you know, perfectly sober or perfectly like cut back 10 percent or whatever you're trying to go through we just know that guilt and shame aren't the best motivators. And I think a lot of us do that self sabotage thing and that can be our pattern that feels more comfortable and keeps us in the cycle of drinking too.

Kevin: Yeah, absolutely.

Steph: All right. So tip of the week in this segment, we'll give you one tip that you can take action on to move your life forward. So, my tip is, if you're doing this for the first time, use some of our tips to prep for Sober October [01:06:00] and actually prepare for it with some intention. And if you're an old pro at Sober October, I recommend picking another month long goal that you can focus on along with staying alcohol free.

So some ideas I like is committing to like 30 minutes a day of movement and maybe having X number of those be outside depending on your weather. But October is spooky and folly and very nice to be outside. Um, so I like that and, and being like really gentle with it too. Like it can just be, you know, a walk or something like that.

You can have a water drinking goal of half your body weight in ounces. Um, or establishing a bedtime routine. I know that's something that's been on my to do list forever, and that's probably what I'm going to focus on in October is, um, establishing a bedtime routine. So, you know, I can use a lot of these tips that we talked about to establish a bedtime routine.

Like I really can. I can plan [01:07:00] ahead for it. I can set things out like. Um, if I don't do it one night, it doesn't mean I can't do it the next night talking about like flossing my teeth here. Um, so yeah, that's my tip.

Kevin: I love it. Um, yeah. Right I'm going to do so for October this year, but it's not going to be that much of a challenge.

So how can I, I always did that with a thousand hours dry whenever we did those rounds, I would always do something else. I would always add something on. Um, but yeah, if you're confident with it, what else can you. Look to do too. I like that.

Steph: Anything else?

Kevin: No, I don't think I think that's uh, I think that's it for this week's episode of the Sober October extravaganza Thank you all for listening to this week's episode of the Reframeable podcast brought to you by the Reframe app. Reframe is the number one iOS and Android app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol.

[01:08:00] It uses neuroscience to reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest, happiest you. If you're enjoying this podcast, please like subscribe and share with those that you feel may benefit from it. If you have a topic you'd like us to cover on the podcast, send an email to podcast at reframe app.

com. And we will keep that anonymous. And if you're on the reframe app, you can just give it a shake when you're in the app and ask a question or, or let us know there. And I want to thank you again for listening and be sure to come back next week for another episode. Have a great day. Thanks, Steph.

Steph: Thanks, Kevin.

Talk to you later.