Don't fall into the "I'll wait till the new year" trap

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Kevin: Welcome everyone to another episode of the reframeable podcast, the podcast that brings you people's stories and ideas about how we can work to reframe our relationship, not just with alcohol, but with stress, anxiety, relationships, enjoyment, and so much more because changing our relationship with alcohol is about so much more than changing the contents of our glass.

This podcast is brought to you by the Reframe app. Reframe is the number one iOS and Android app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol. It uses neuroscience to reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest, happiest you. My name is Kevin Bellack. I'm a certified professional recovery coach and the head of coaching at the Reframe app.

Steph: I'm Steph Prangley. I'm a nutritional therapy practitioner and a Thrive Coach at Reframe. Kevin, what's going

Kevin: on? How's it going? Nothing. Everything. I don't know. Yeah, what's new with you?

Steph: Oh jeez, you [00:01:00] never have anything new to talk about. I went bowling on Saturday and my back and my knees hurt.

I did not expect that to happen. And I've been hobbling around like an old lady since bowling. Bowling! Coming in hot as an athlete. Can't even bowl anymore. Can't even do bar sports.

Kevin: That's yeah. Hey, it happens. Mine was golfing a couple of years ago. I hung up my, not that I was ever a golfer or a good golfer or cared about it that much, but threw my back out doing that and was like, you know what?

I don't care enough about this sport to keep doing this. So I'm just never going to play again.

Steph: My friend. Who we went bowling with. We went with another couple. She texted me today and she said, well, I threw out my back tying my shoe this morning. So I don't know what that means, but we're all having problems over here, I guess.

Kevin: In May for me, it was putting on pants. My foot got caught and my back [00:02:00] clenched up and it just happens. And my back just went out again, but I think that was because I was messing around with that old treadmill, taking it apart and trying to maneuver it. And I was at odd angles, lifting this heavy thing which I shouldn't have been doing, but I did it.

And now it's been like, I'm on week three of like, I'm still walking and doing all the things that I need to do, but I'm more just stretching and trying to take care of that. I did find my TENS unit, the electric stim. Oh. I bought one on Amazon in June cause they're fairly cheap. I mean, it was like 30 bucks, I think.

So I've been using that all weekend too, and it's been helping. So,

Steph: Oh, nice. I should get my own STEM thing. Yeah.

Kevin: Just a little FYI in case you need that. Probably

Steph: when I got, when I went to visit my friend in Indiana, like a few weeks ago she's a doctor and she had one of those, like, Gun things like do like those and she's like She has like a she has a travel one that I used [00:03:00] on my glute and my hip and she's like this isn't even The most powerful one.

It's intense man God life after 40,

Kevin: yeah I'm

like looking around here Because I have this thing, actually it's over there, but I won't get it. It's a, I think it's called a back and body buddy. And it's basically like, I'm just going to grab it. Okay,

You don't have to. Here, I found it. It's literally

Steph: Oh, that looks like some sort of something.

Kevin: Yes, something. An S shaped thing. But you basically like sit there and just hit any area on your body and just start grinding on it with these little nodules or whatever. Yes, it does look like something a little kinky.

Yeah. A little bit. I [00:04:00] got that from Tim Ferris. I think he always throws out on his five bullet Friday emails, like this thing I'm currently using or stuff like that. I was like, Ooh, also like 25 bucks. So it was, it's good.

Steph: You really are a marketer's dream, aren't you? I

Kevin: am like, yeah, we were just talking about my latest Instagram purchases.

I'm so gullible.

Steph: Yeah. Before we got on, Kevin was talking about ever since he started the journaling meeting, he's had nothing but journals pop up in his Instagram feed. And then, yeah, he bought the, he bought a new one that the bullet journal. Yeah. I've heard good things about that.

Kevin: But I couldn't just buy the bullet journal.

I also had to buy the bullet journal method book to read so that I could use the bullet journal appropriately like a true perfectionist. Huh. But, it's good. It's going to change my life.

Steph: And Kevin believes, yes, he believes that it'll give him more than 24 hours [00:05:00] in a day. So, keep us posted on that.

Kevin: I will.

I will. Hey, the algorithm's pointing me in the direction of the things I'm talking about and want. So, I guess. That's a good thing.

Steph: That's how people find Reframe all the time. We hear stories over and over again about how like the ad just pops in right when they needed it. So it's there for a reason and it can be a positive thing, but maybe not.

Don't buy all of the weird back contraptions and journals that are out there.

Kevin: Oh yeah. And. This is the tip of the iceberg of weird back contraptions that I have, so we'll just leave it at that. It's, I got a lot more downstairs.

Steph: Well, when you like, target people in pain, most of us are willing to try anything because we've tried all of the other things that work, like, I don't know.

They're always like, stretch your hamstrings, and you're like, well, I can't even Touch my toes. So I don't know what you're trying to tell me, physical [00:06:00] therapist, but

Kevin: I need this toes to stretch your hamstrings. Just saying.

Steph: I know. I'm always just embarrassed when I go to yin yoga and they're like, Oh, here, like, just do this real quick, like a forward fold.

I'm like, I don't know, like an 85 degree angle. I'm like, yeah, it feels good.

Kevin: Feeling the burn, feeling the stretch.

Steph: It's so bad. Okay, we ready for shop talk? We are. All right. In this segment, we talk about a recovery related topic that's on our minds and yours. We hope to cover the topic from all angles and land somewhere actionable and helpful for you.

If you have a topic you'd like us to cover on the podcast, send an email to podcast at reframe app. com. Or if you're a reframe user, when you're in the app, you can give it a shake and let us know that way. So today we're talking about a very common tendency as we get [00:07:00] closer and closer to the new year, which is the old trap of screw it, what's the point?

I'll just start over in the new year. So Kevin, do you have any experience with this in particular?

Kevin: sOrry, I shouldn't have laughed like that at myself. Yeah. I mean, a new year is coming up, a new month is coming up it's Friday, I'll just wait till Monday, you name it, I will do that.

And that's something I've tried to break myself over, of, over the last, A couple of years, on this on this road that I'm on just because I know that tendency to wait and the waiting for the perfect time. And, I went to do a challenge a couple of years ago and I was like, Oh, I'll wait till.

And not the new year, but it was like November 1st, cause it was in mid October. I'm like, November 1st is a Monday, it's the first of the month. It's perfect. It's perfect. The stars aligned for me to [00:08:00] start this then. And then I think I saw something, Instagram or social media somewhere. But basically just like, just begin, right.

One of those things. And so I was like, you know what? Screw it. It was October 21st. And I just was like, I need to start. I'm not going to wait another 10 days. Let's just do it now. And kind of, I've tried to embrace that mentality a little bit too. Since then I know I did it here with this new challenge I'm on.

It was like September 16th. I was sitting there in my head, like waiting, like, again, it's like, I need to get back into the, it's one of those thoughts where. I need to get back into quote unquote, this, whatever your, this is. I need to start this again. I need to get back here. I need to do this and okay. But when am I going to do it?

Okay. I'll start Monday is the famous one. Right. Or now, this will be coming out at the beginning of December. Perfect time to just wait for the new year. Right. But but yeah, as we'll talk, how can we get outta that? How [00:09:00] can we change that mentality? Because it, it doesn't help us.

There's no reason to wait. There's never a perfect time, is ultimately what I've learned. Yeah. What's been your kind of experience with this?

Steph: Mine is like more centered around diets. I have been the victim of diet culture, and I used to be on or off, like doing it all good or doing it all like in a destructive way which is unhealthy in itself, like it's just, it's not a sustainable, like we're going to talk about this, like this is kind of rooted in all or nothing thinking and not having like a sustainable plan.

So I used to be. like a chronic Whole 30 er. So it would be like a January Whole 30 so I could go wild during the holidays and then just like almost punish myself in January to start over. And then it was kind of the same thing throughout the year. Like I would do another one in the summer. I'd do another one in September.

And I just, I was never, that was something I had to unlearn too because that's a [00:10:00] very disordered way of eating and treating your body. And it's not the way that the book was written. It's just the way that. some humans will respond to having that kind of restriction for a month and then having it open up like, for a free season, this was my drinking, like I would quit drinking when doing a whole 32.

And so it does kind of overlap with my detox to retox cycle that I've talked about where I would take a month or two off of drinking with the hopes of returning as a more mindful quote, normal drinker. And then that going to crap too, but specifically with the starting over thing, it was always like on a new month or the new year was always a big one for me.

And so. Like that mindset for dieting was very unhealthy because it promotes binging behavior, basically, where you're like, Oh, I'm going to eat all the Christmas cookies because I won't be able to have these and another week, it's like the mindset around it is so unhealthy. And I always tell [00:11:00] people with this sugar cravings and this like binging behavior, it's there's a restriction involved with that either an actual like physical food restriction where your body is trying to catch up.

at the end of the day, or a mental restriction, like I just described, where it's like, I have access to these like cookies and cakes and pies and all of this food that I can't eat on a whole 30. So I'm just gonna eat it all right now. So like, I think this is really troublesome, because it's really rooted in this all or nothing thinking and Perfectionism.

And then believing that, and perfectionism is kind of telling us that we're never going to be good enough as we are. And then that can lead to self sabotage. So I think that's what's underlying all of this in my experience in the nutrition field. And I think that overlaps with, alcohol use as well.

Kevin: I think that's a great comment you made. I mean, never good enough as we are. I think that's so true. From that all or nothing [00:12:00] standpoint and, we always have to be, I don't know. I mean, it can be any number of things, right? Like, I know I, I want to get back to. Feeling like I did, I don't know, years ago whenever I was doing, when I was running more or just, a way, a certain way to look or a certain way to feel or and just having that, but also it could be comparison too, right?

It's never good enough because I see other people who are doing all of these things and we never take into account like, well, what are the things that I'm doing that are good? Yeah, I'm not, I might not be doing that thing, but what else am I doing? I think as we forget that too, because we hyper focus on the one thing that perhaps we're not doing, or we're not feeling good about, which I get, right, I mean, that's normal.

But. How can we change that? What approach can we take to change our way of thinking around [00:13:00] that?

Steph: Yeah, I think a lot of the way to shift the mindset here is Like something you just said where, physically you're trying to get like back to a certain prior version of Kevin. I think about that all the time with volleyball, like how much I miss playing competitive volleyball.

And I'm like, Oh my God, can I. actually train and do that again. And then I go bowling and both of my knees hurt and I'm like, well, it's probably still not going to be realistic for me. Right? So then what I have to practice with this is a tremendous amount of self acceptance, which I always say is the key to me staying alcohol free, but it's the key to all of these other things too.

Like I talk openly about, struggling with chronic fatigue and doctors not knowing what's wrong with me and how that limits my. social ability. It limits how much work I can do. It's so limiting. And it probably the volleyball thing too, right? [00:14:00] Like even if I could physically train for volleyball again, is it even practical for me?

Because how much else would I have to give up in order to do that? And so, relating it to this in particular is just accepting, like, this is a place where acceptance comes in and letting. good enough, be good enough when it comes to setting realistic goals and just being honest with yourself.

Like, what is, like, what are the higher priority items that keep you well, keep you grounded, keep you true on your, like, relationship with alcohol kind of things too, right? Like, what are those, Like sometimes I talk about the non negotiables, like are doing the non negotiables all that you have capacity for right now?

And then yeah, maybe after the new year you can set some more more aggressive goals, but you know, for now it isn't an excuse to just throw in the towel because you can't check off all of the things [00:15:00] that you want to do in this ideal world. It's just not practical. We're very busy right now.

Kevin: Yeah. And acceptance of where.

Yeah, being honest with yourself, like you said is a great point that acceptance of where we are and it's not, I don't see it, cause you could hear acceptance. And just accept the fact that you're not where you were when you were, right? Well, yeah, we should because we're not that old, we're not that in that spot.

But, some people might look at that as giving up or like, Oh, I'm just accepting where I'm at. And it's not, I don't see it as that. I think it's accepting where you are. And that's it, right? You can't go back in time. Like I can't undo the lack of back exercises that I should have been doing for the past decade or whatever, to help my back or but I should accept like, okay, this is where I'm at now.

Where can I move forward? How can I move [00:16:00] forward with where I'm at now? And that's really, that's what really I've been focusing on the last like two months is. I, this I'm not like just doing something here recently just for two months. I'm doing it for a year is my plan. And even that year in my head is kind of forever.

Like that's what, that's why I'm setting a goal for a year to work on how I show up for my body how I show up, for my nutrition, how I showed up for the things that I want to add in. And. Slowly starting to ramp that up and I was going great and I was doing well and I was easing into it.

And then, you know what, something still happened. I mentioned my back with the that damn treadmill. And okay, that happened and I could have, like I have in the past, let that totally derail me, but I worked with it. I did what I needed to do now to, [00:17:00] now I strength, I'm working on.

Stretching more. I'm working on making sure I'm doing daily work to build that strength back up and work on that. It points me in the direction of what I need to focus on, right? That's what setbacks do. I think it points us in the direction of what we need to work on. It's not something that like, Oh, well, it didn't work.

I can just quit. It's okay. Why didn't that work? What do I need to work on there? What am I missing? That it can be that compass, right? Those things that we struggle with, those things that we feel Oh, I thought this would be easier than it was. Well, why isn't it? Because you're doing something new, you're doing something different.

So how can you do it in a way that's sustainable? That's making small changes, not trying to hit that home run. Do the bunt, get on base. Let's continue with the baseball there, but you know, like, because. That's what your team [00:18:00]needs right now. That's what your body needs right now is to sometimes just hit that bun and get on base or whatever.

I've never played baseball in my life. So it sounded weird when I said hit that bunt bunt the ball, whatever. So yeah, I mean, that's, it's hard, right. It's hard to get into that mentality when we. Especially when we feel like a change is totally necessary, and we have to do it, and it might be so imperative that we focus on it, it can be even more hard to accept the fact that it's not working.

Steph: Yeah, I think of, I like that, what, just to clarify the acceptance piece, I'm glad you did that, because I see it as like giving you that radical honesty to work with whatever the thing is. So if I relate that to like alcohol use, I accept the fact that I have a lot of years of experience that demonstrate that [00:19:00] no, after 30 days or 60 days, I do not like my body wants to drink in excess.

Like that's anytime I crave alcohol, it's not to have one ever. Like I drink to numb and that's still the only time I romanticize it is for some sort of escape. Now accepting that gives me a lot of freedom, right? Like it, it just, it takes alcohol out of the equation for me now. And I know it's always there.

Like, I'm an adult, I can have as much as I want, but I don't want it because I don't like who I become when I consume it. And so, accepting it, I don't see it as a failure. And the same thing with the volleyball thing. It's like, I have to accept that, yeah, my body is not close to where it was a decade ago, two decades ago.

I'm no longer like a near pro volleyball player because my body can't do it anymore. And accepting that means. What can I do? Right? Like we talked about the aqua bike, [00:20:00] how I kind of want to get into doing the first two legs of a triathlon, like swimming is easy on the body. Biking is easy on the body.

Easy enough for me. And that's something I can still train for and compete in and like kind of scratch that itch for me. So Like that's, and the dieting thing too, right? Like I have a disordered eating background, like cycling on and off a whole 30 is not healthy for me mentally. And I know that there are people who can engage in challenges like that in a healthy way.

But for me, I can't, because I have this background of restriction and like binging and orthorexia. And so it's like, it's not going to be healthy for me to do a whole dietary, overhaul, and then try to adhere to this, like, really, like, these strict rules, like, I, I tend to get very obsessive about rules, and then I just go off the rails when it's, like, inevitably something is presented to me that I want to eat that isn't, like, perfect, it's so much [00:21:00] easier for me if that's always on the table, because if I can always have ice cream, it kind of loses its power, like, I can have, like, a scoop, and that feels good enough for me, and I don't, think about it.

I just move on with my life. Yeah. So I want to give some like a shout out to people who are like early on in their recovery journey, cut back or going alcohol free this time of year. I'm about 18 months, a little over 18 months alcohol free now. And starting this time of year is very challenging and will be like the best thing that I can do.

you could possibly do for yourself because you have the opportunity to reframe what the holidays mean to you. You get to be fully present with friends and family. If it's a difficult time for you, it's a good opportunity for you to dial in to caring for yourself in a very like deep and meaningful way.[00:22:00]

So let's talk a little bit about that, like, particularly the people who are earlier on, where they don't have a lot of evidence about how good they can feel when cutting back or quitting drinking.

Kevin: I think it's good to point out that whenever you try and start something new, right, it's going to be different the longer you go about it, depending on what it is, of course, but, with cutting back or quitting drinking, if you started in January And you're here now and let's just say you haven't drank for 300 days, whatever the days are from now from January until now, I think it's important to recognize that.

Yeah, great job. You did that and got through all those days, but you still have to make sure that you're also aware that you haven't gone through. The holiday season which could be easy for you, could be very difficult. So, I think it's always good to look at the context. So whether you're starting now or you started earlier this year [00:23:00] and, and you're cutting back or quitting and you're coming into this holiday season, it's gonna be different.

So you all, you have to be aware of that. Regardless, because, you're not, you're going to family get togethers and work events that haven't happened and you're going to see people maybe you haven't seen and there's going to be traditions that you forgot about and. All that stuff.

But if, if you're just starting. Give yourself grace to realize that this is a tough time of year. Not to say that other times are easier. And maybe, like I said, maybe this time's, a good time for you to start because you can say, no I'm. I'm doing a, it's the preseason for dry January or damp January, whatever you might be doing, and you're just working on it, but I think if you are looking to take a break or cut back or whatever, and you're looking towards dry January, damp January, now is the time [00:24:00] to start I think, is.

Because you can't just, there's not a magic switch that happens on whenever the ball drops on New Year's that you're all of a sudden going to be ready to just jump in and do this, right? I think taking a look now and working on this to see where you might be Reaching for a drink, when does that happen?

Does it happen, because you're stressed? Does it happen because when you're around other people who socializing are, what are those emotions that come up whenever that occurs and working through those and solving those. And I know it's not all about like. Prepping for people, for anybody who's trying to start the start in January.

You said like, if you're starting now, what can you do? And that's it, right? It's recognizing that identifying those reasons why you might reach for a drink. Thinking about that ahead of [00:25:00] time, planning it to starting your day and be like, what does my day look like? Who am I gonna see? Where am I gonna go?

Am I going anywhere? What is that? Where's alcohol gonna show up in this equation, if at all? And how do I want to tackle that?

Steph: Yeah, I, yeah, really good, like, really good advice. And I think too, with like the starting over in the new year thing um, it's kind of a version of playing the tape forward too, right?

Like what if you. entered into New Year's Day feeling really good, where you don't, like that's part of it too. Like I think of it for me with like the food thing and then I'll like move over to alcohol. But with the food thing, it's like I almost was like doing this binging through the holidays and then The new year was almost a punishment, where it's like, Oh my God, I was so bad.

And then now I have to be all good and clean it up and whatever. [00:26:00] But I wonder like what would have changed if I just thought about it? Like. I can still go into the house. I can like enjoy these things during the holidays and feel good going into the new year and then just continuing, right? Maybe adding in more vegetables and like fewer sweets or something.

But I'm just kind of continuing this momentum. And I think the same thing with, with alcohol reduction or quitting alcohol. It's like, yeah, I can just go on a bender and start over in the new year or whatever. Yeah. I can, like, if you're on cutback, like I can be mindful about my drinking and pick and choose the events I want to drink at and stick to my goals and do all of the things that keep me happy and healthy and kind of, not as centered on alcohol or if you're giving it up, it's like.

This is all really good practice and just an excellent opportunity to see like the joy that being alcohol free or reducing your [00:27:00] alcohol can give you like it'll give you so much right and definitely go back and listen to our episode on like planning for parties or what do we call it? Like holiday party prep.

Because we have some really good tips in there on how to manage, a lot of the stressors that tend to come up this time of year as well. So I want you to really imagine how good it would feel going through the rest of December and entering the new year, nailing the goals that you have. And like we said, maybe those goals are Not doing all of the things.

Maybe it's just sticking to your goals surrounding alcohol, and maybe it's moving for a half hour a day, going for a walk, and attending a reframe meeting or something like whatever is keeping you grounded. But some of those non negotiables that I like to encourage people to think about.

Given the limitations of the season, right? Like accepting that you're not going to have a ton of time to be doing all of the things, but [00:28:00] what can you do?

Kevin: Yeah. And yeah, what can you do? And right , the way I see it is like, I would listen to this podcast for a reason, right? I would be listening to, I would be going and joining Reframe for a reason, right?

Because I knew I had to make a change, or I knew I wanted to change something. That was showing I would change how alcohol was showing up in my life. Right? And so that's, given the fact that I'm assuming that's why you're listening to us right now, right? It's like, how can I take that as an opportunity to?

Yeah, even if you didn't plan on. Again, you could be going about this so many different ways, right? So I, it's hard to say it like in one definitive statement, but even if you didn't plan on, I'll just say kicking off, full go right this very day. It's how can you use the awareness that you already have [00:29:00] and roll that into making.

The rest of this year a good launching point for next year. And I always hesitate saying stuff like that because it's just, I don't want to, I would take that before like, well, I'm doing my best and I'll just take today off. Right. And it's not about that. It's not good.

That's good, bad and different. It doesn't matter. Like that's up to each person to figure out how they want to show up there. But that's not the point, right, to just like, I think being mindful about it, even if you are saying like, okay, this is how I'm going to show up at this party and I will change that for the next party and I'll keep working on this and moving towards whatever goal I want.

I think being aware and being honest with yourself, about how you want to show up is important versus just being like, Oh, well, it's fine. I never said I was going to be perfect here. I think be aware of it and then challenge yourself [00:30:00]to show up differently because, the way I look at it is I've always.

Whenever I started down the first, this first year the first year I was going through the holidays, I, I was like, okay, I've done it for how many years with alcohol, right? I know how that tape ends. I know how that works. I know how that feels. And I'm just going about it differently this time.

And you know what, we'll see how that feels and go from there. Like challenge yourself to, to embrace that. tHe newness of it or the fact that, how the other way goes, let's try a different way and see how that works.

Steph: That's one of my favorite ways to reframe it. Even with clients like going on vacation and stuff like that, where they're, trying to navigate that alcohol free or even my cutback clients where I'm like, I, you know what drinking every day on vacation is like, you've done that.

Like. For a cutback client, I might say like, what if the first two days you didn't drink, and just see [00:31:00] how that feels, like, see how the vacation feels like that. And it is like the same with the holidays. That's, it's a great way to reframe it because. Then it's just curiosity. Like, we're not saying forever, we're just saying like, hey, let's try it on, right?

Just like in the dressing room. Try it on, see how it fits, see how it feels. But you know, the alcohol will always be there and you just deserve a chance to have like data points from both sides.

Like you deserve that and your family deserves that and your friends and I'll just echo, like you're listening to this for a reason. If you're on the Reframe app, you're there for a reason and give yourself like a fair shot at it to see how it like to see how it feels and then you can at least have.

Yeah. Comparison for it, because I don't know, I know every time, like when I came back from Hawaii after not drinking my first sober vacation, I was like, holy shit. Like my mind was blown at how [00:32:00] awesome it was. And there were challenges. Like I almost had a slip in there and I was just hungry and tired.

So it's like, yeah, that's, that works too. But like, I could not shut up about how awesome sober vacation was like, yeah. You never know, you might surprise yourself, yeah,

Kevin: same. Yeah. I mean, you might try that on and you know what? You might find you like it so much that you just like walk out of the store with it on, like you go check out and be like, I'm not taking this off.

thIs is too good. But yeah. You just never know, right? And I think giving that a a shot.

Trying it out. Not putting too much pressure on yourself, but you know, seeing how it goes, like you mentioned, like, listen to the holiday party prep episode from, I think it was like November 10th and that, that can help you figure out ways to go to a party and get in the door and stick with your target or stick with your AF goal, whatever that is.

So. Yeah. [00:33:00] You have to have a plan, right? You can't just say like, you know what, I'm going to try it. I heard them talking, but you have to have a plan with it too. So, utilizing that resource too, is going to be helpful.

Steph: Yeah. And I'll just add to meetings. Like we're not, we don't take holidays off.

Like we're going to have meetings all throughout the holidays. And so you can always crowdsource, um, ways to get through. Specific challenges you have, like, family is a big trigger. We talked about that in holiday party prep and other things. So, check in with the app, check in with the forum and use these resources to, lean on the community to help you reach your goals as well.

Yeah, absolutely. Alright, anything else you want to add before we go to the tip of the week?

Kevin: I don't think. I mean Okay. Try something new. Try something new. Don't wait till the new year just to, at the very least just change, change [00:34:00] something up a little bit and see how it goes.

Steph: Yeah, you're stepping on my tip of the week a little. So my tip of the week

Kevin: I swear, I don't read ahead or anything like that. I did, alright, I'll shut up.

Steph: Yeah, Kevin's always winging it. He never reads my notes.

Kevin: I read them, but I forget. So maybe I subliminally or subconsciously, not subliminally, I subconsciously remembered your tip and I wasn't the exact thing.

I don't wing it. All right.

Steph: All right. So here's your tip that you can take action on today to move your life forward. So I'm going to say set your intentions for now until the end of the year. Be realistic about it, like whatever it is you want to do, maybe subtract 25 percent from that and then post it somewhere for Reframe forum if you're a Reframe user.

Posted on Instagram, let us know and let us know [00:35:00] how we can support you.

Kevin: So that's it. I love it. Yeah, because right, if we just, and, and I would say the only thing I would add to that, not to step on toes or anything but I mean, cause I talked about this in the meeting today. Get a little. Because I learned it from the bullet journal.

Oh my God. The maybe get a little bit granular with it. Just from the standpoint of, don't be like, Hey, you know what? I'm going to try and drink less for the rest of the year. No, like. Get a little bit set a little bit more specific that can be your intention, but set some parameters around that set a little bit of specifics around that.

Look at like a date that you're going to try it. It doesn't have to be like every day, but like, okay, on this one, I get together here. This is what I'm going to work on. This is what I'm, how I'm going to go about it. Just to again have a little bit more detail behind it so that [00:36:00] you I don't know, have a.

Okay. It's just not a kind of a vague thought, right, where, because then you might beat yourself up if you don't, if you don't get a little bit specific with it, and then you're like, Oh, I'm going to drink less. And then you, based on your whatever measurements, don't drink less, you're going to beat yourself up.

Right. But did you give yourself a fair opportunity to do that?

Steph: Yes here, I do like to be overprepared and. There's no like real downside risk to that, I guess, if you need like going back to vacation, but I was like way over prepared going into vacation, like very specific, like you said, and I only had to really lean on it that one time, but I have no regrets being overly prepared.

And I do kind of believe in micromanaging your schedule a little bit, the crazier things get just to give that illusion of. Control over the things you do have control over.[00:37:00] So yeah. All right. And well, thanks

Kevin: Kevin. Yeah. Whereas, yeah, the sorry, I go ahead and say thanks and I'll just shut up.

Steph: You can add one more thing, , if you want. I'll

Kevin: let you, I was just gonna say the I speak of vacation and that I'm heading to Charleston this Thursday, for like a long weekend with some family and, I'm basically just winging it. I definitely didn't wing it my first vacation or something like that.

But, I'm just like, Hey, whatever happens, I'm fine with. But, I heard something about some people were talking about like, Hey, we're going to do like this tour of this distillery. I'm like, okay, well, you know what? I'm not winging. There's no need for me to go there. So my wife and I are going to go do something else that day, but you know, it's yeah, I, oh my God, go to

Steph: the aircraft carrier.

Kevin: I don't start, there's a whole [00:38:00] itinerary already. I, it's not my it's not my uh, it's like anybody, a couple of people have suggested some things and I, it was like, nope, I don't want to hear it, I'm not going to do it because they already have an itinerary and I'm just going along for the ride.

I'm literally winging it. Except when I don't need to, but I was just gonna say like, I would. I definitely didn't wing my first holiday season without alcohol. But I didn't do perfectly either. And it was a lot of growing pains and I didn't know what I didn't know. And I, I learned along the way and I just did my best.

But the more you learn, the more you can apply and all that, but just realize like, Hey, you know what, you're still learning, ask. Go to a meeting, ask, go to the forum read, do the whole, do the five day holiday course. As you mentioned in the last episode in reframe, but all right, now I'll shut up.

Steph: All right. You ready to close this out?

Kevin: All right. [00:39:00] That's it for the reframeable podcast for this week. Thank you all for listening to this episode and brought to you by the reframe app. Reframe is the number one iOS and Android app to help you cut back or quit drinking alcohol.

It uses neuroscience to reframe your relationship with alcohol and unlock the healthiest, happiest you. If you're enjoying this podcast, please like subscribe and share with those that you feel may benefit from it. And if you have a topic you'd like us to cover on the podcast, send an email to podcast at reframe app.

com. Or if you're in the reframe app, go ahead and give your phone a shake. And once the box pops up, click, ask a question and let us know there. I want to thank you again for listening and be sure to come back next week for another episode. Have a great day. Bye. See ya.