Avoidant Attachment Triggers: Emotional Hide-and-Seek
![Reframe App Logo](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/60d10433104bca13abce2c13/6524611f0bc6ca7db5aea21b_logo.webp)
You know those days when stress is piling up, and somehow, the idea of re-watching The Office for the twentieth time feels more appealing than dealing with it all? If that rings a bell, buckle up — we're about to journey into the fascinating world of avoidant attachment and its sneaky triggers.
Here's a typical scene. You've just wrapped up an intense phone call with a friend, and you're left feeling emotionally drained. Suddenly, the siren call of your favorite sitcom becomes too hard to resist. What's going on here?
This is what attachment theory is all about. Defined by psychologists Bowlby and Ainsworth, this theory tells us that the ways we emotionally bond with others during our early years set the tone for how we manage stress and emotional discomfort in adulthood.
Among various attachment styles, the avoidant one is like that friend who always seems to have an “exit strategy” when things get emotional.
If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might find yourself shying away from emotional closeness, valuing your independence to an extreme and retreating into comfortable distractions when things get heated. Basically, when emotions start to feel like a wild roller coaster, you'd much rather be safely on the ground, watching from a distance.
But how does an avoidant attachment style make us prefer a sitcom binge to dealing with uncomfortable emotions?
Research shows that avoidantly attached individuals tend to use distraction as their coping mechanism. Rather than grappling with their emotional discomfort, they steer their attention towards something less overwhelming.
Studies have revealed that avoidantly attached folks are more likely to shift their focus from negative emotions towards neutral or positive stimuli. This might manifest as immersing yourself in work, diving into hobbies, or turning to a comfort-inducing TV marathon.
Have you ever declared, "I need a drink"? If that rings a bell after a tough day or an emotionally charged situation, you might want to explore the connection between avoidant attachment triggers and alcohol use.
Attachment theory suggests that our early bonding experiences shape our adult relationships and how we respond to stress. Avoidant attachment — one of these styles — can be a bit sneaky. It makes us dodge emotional closeness, stress, and anxiety.
Research tells us that those with an avoidant attachment style might be more prone to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. Alcohol can provide a temporary shield from uncomfortable feelings, offering the emotional distance that avoidantly attached folks often seek.
In other words, your Friday night glass of wine or whiskey might be your subconscious tactic to keep stress and emotional discomfort at bay. Remember, understanding this connection is the first step towards finding healthier coping mechanisms and building stronger emotional resilience.
Now that we've peeked behind the curtain of avoidant attachment style, here are some steps that can help us manage these triggers better:
So next time you feel the urge to retreat into your favorite sitcom or reach for a glass — or bottle — of wine instead of addressing the stress at hand, remember, it might just be your avoidant attachment style playing hide-and-seek. And with these steps in your toolkit, you'll be better prepared to join the game.
Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!
The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.
You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.
Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.
And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).
The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!
Reframe supports you in reducing alcohol consumption and enhancing your well-being.