Are Children of Addicts More Likely to Become Addicts?

Do you struggle with trust issues or a deep fear of abandonment? Have you always dealt with low self-esteem, constantly feeling "on guard"? If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. These are common struggles when you're unpacking the long-term alcoholic parents effects on a child. Understanding how does an alcoholic parent affect a child is the first step to connecting your past to your present. It also leads to bigger questions, like how much more likely are children of addicts to become addicts? This post will help you find clarity on the path forward.

If any or all of these characteristics sound familiar, it’s possible that you grew up with a parent who struggled with alcohol misuse. Sadly, this is pretty common: research suggests that about 1 in 10 children lives with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, and about 1 in 5 adults lived with a person who used alcohol when they were growing up.

A common misconception around alcohol misuse is that it only affects the person who is drinking — but this is far from true. Alcohol misuse can have far-reaching effects on family members, friends, and loved ones of those who drink. And children can be among the most impacted. In fact, the effects of growing up around alcoholic parents are sometimes so profound that they last a lifetime. 

In this post, we’ll explore the effects that growing up with alcoholic parents can have on children, including the emotional, interpersonal, and behavioral consequences. Let’s dive in.

How Does an Alcoholic Parent Affect a Child Emotionally?

Research shows that growing up with alcoholic parents can have profound and long-lasting psychological and emotional effects. Here are some of the more common:

1. The Struggle with Broken Trust

There is often a great deal of denial, lying, and keeping secrets in the homes of people with alcohol misuse. As a result, children start to learn that they can’t trust their parent. For instance, perhaps their parent promised to quit drinking but continually failed to follow through. Over time, these broken promises can create serious trust issues that last into adulthood. Because of this, adult children of parents with alcohol misuse often struggle with romantic relationships; they avoid getting too close to others for fear of being disappointed yet again. 

Furthermore, if a child’s parent was mean or abusive when they drank, adult children can grow up with a fear of all angry people. They may spend their lives avoiding conflict or confrontation of any kind for fear that it could turn violent.

2. Why You Might Blame Yourself

Children with parents who have alcohol use disorder often develop negative self-images and are incredibly hard on themselves. Because children are dependent on caregivers, their self-perception develops as a reflection of how they are viewed by their parents. A parent misusing alcohol may neglect their child or lash out at them, which can cause life-long issues with self-image. Even as adults, many children who grew up with alcohol misuse struggle with confidence, self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy, and low self-worth. They may come to see themselves as different from other people and never good enough. Sadly, this can create further isolation, making it difficult for them to interact with others and form relationships.

3. What Does 'Normal' Even Mean?

Many children of parents who misuse alcohol have a skewed notion of what it means to be “normal.” Alcohol can cause tremendous dysfunction within the family system, preventing children from experiencing a stable living environment. Because drinking is often normalized in the homes of people with alcohol misuse, children can struggle to distinguish between “good” role models and “bad” ones. They also might end up feeling conflicted, confused, and self-conscious when they realize that drinking isn’t considered normal in other families. 

4. Feeling Numb or Overwhelmed by Emotions

Children may feel responsible for their parents or siblings and find themselves behaving more like a parent, especially if their parent is absent or unable to function. This can lead to a host of negative emotions, such as fear, shame, embarrassment, anger, guilt, and denial — which they learn to hide as a defense mechanism. However, hiding negative emotions for extended periods can cause people to shut down all emotions in adulthood. Positive emotions, such as love, joy, and excitement, can become just as difficult to experience and express as the negative ones.

5. Why You Feel the Need to Control Everything

Living in a household with a parent misusing alcohol often brings a great deal of chaos and instability. As a result, children feel vulnerable and helpless. This lack of control can result in an extreme need for control later on in life — over their life, the situations they find themselves in, or the behaviors of others. An intense need for control can lead to problems with forming and maintaining healthy relationships.

6. Always Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

At a young age, children with a parent who is misusing alcohol learn to become aware of potential dangers or threats to their safety and well-being. This can lead to hypervigilance, an increased state of awareness that causes sensitivity to surroundings. As an adult, extreme and excessive attentiveness can distract from work, family life, and other relationships, causing them to continually be “on guard.” Even if some dangers aren’t necessarily real, they become obsessed with knowing all the possible dangers. Experts believe that hypervigilance stems from the shame and pain experienced in childhood of having parents with alcohol use disorder.

7. A Deep-Rooted Fear of Being Left Behind

Many times parents with alcohol misuse are emotionally or physically detached. This can cause a child to develop a debilitating fear of abandonment. In adulthood, this can cause them to hold onto toxic relationships for fear of being alone. Similarly, many children of parents with alcohol misuse end up constantly seeking approval from others and basing their self-worth on helping others. They can become people-pleasers who are devastated if someone isn’t happy with them; they live in fear of any kind of criticism. This can also drive them to become perfectionists, overachievers, or workaholics with a strong sense of responsibility.

How Family Roles Change with an Alcoholic Parent

Growing up with a parent who misuses alcohol not only affects the emotional well-being of a child, it also leads to behavioral changes that can be difficult to manage. For instance, research shows that children of parents who use alcohol are more likely to display rule-breaking, risk-taking, aggressiveness, and impulsivity in childhood. This may include things like getting into fights, shoplifting, or even self-harm.

They also tend to externalize their anger, which can manifest as manipulating other people, lacking empathy, and being unaffected by the consequences of their actions. As they get older, they’re more likely to engage in promiscuous sexual behavior and enter into unhealthy, abusive relationships.

Furthermore, it’s not uncommon for children to have problems in school and isolate themselves from their peers. Some research has found an association between parents’ use of alcohol and teens’ lower performance in school. These are some of the academic effects they might suffer from:

• Low grade point averages (GPA)
• Grade-level retention/failed grades
• Failure to pursue secondary education
• Poor performance in math, reading, and spelling
• Unexcused absences/tardiness 
• Impaired learning capacity
• Poor speech and language development in the first 3 years of life

The Scope of Parental Substance Use in the US

Understanding the Statistics

If you grew up with a parent who struggled with alcohol, it's easy to feel isolated. But the reality is, this experience is far from rare. The numbers paint a clear picture of just how many families are affected. According to a report from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), about 1 in 10 children in the US lives with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder. That's roughly 7.5 million kids. When you broaden the scope to include other substances, the figure climbs even higher, with about 1 in 8 children living in a home where a parent has a substance use disorder. These aren't just abstract numbers; they represent millions of childhoods shaped by a parent's struggle with addiction.

It's natural to wonder if these patterns are destined to repeat. Genetics certainly play a role; some studies suggest that family history is a significant predictor and that genetics can account for about half the risk of developing an addiction. However, it's not the whole story. The environment you grow up in is just as important. Constant conflict, instability, and the normalization of heavy drinking create a powerful blueprint for future behavior. Understanding this combination of nature and nurture is the first step toward breaking the cycle. It’s about recognizing the influences you've had and making conscious choices to build healthier habits, like practicing mindful drinking and creating a supportive environment for yourself.

How Much More Likely Are Children of Addicts to Become Addicts?

Children of people with an alcohol use disorder are at an increased risk for a variety of problems later in life. For instance, they’re more likely to develop alcohol use disorder and experience mental health disorders. Let’s take a closer look:

Understanding the Genetic and Environmental Links

Studies indicate that growing up with alcoholic parents can lead children to be more likely to use alcohol themselves in adolescence and in adulthood. They may begin drinking alcohol at a younger age than others and progress more quickly into dangerous levels of consumption. In fact, children with alcoholic parents are 4 times as likely to engage in excessive drinking at some point in their life, and 3 to 4 times more likely to develop an alcohol use disorder than peers who grew up with parents without an alcohol use disorder. 

Research indicates that they may turn to alcohol as a way of dealing with emotions that they aren’t able or willing to express, such as guilt, shame, or anger. They also tend to view alcohol as a way to cope with stress. Furthermore, adult children of parents who misuse alcohol are four times more likely to choose a partner with a substance use disorder.

The Role of Genetics in Addiction

Let's start with the nature part of the equation: genetics. It’s a valid question to ask how much of this risk is written in our DNA, and the science points to a strong connection. In fact, studies show that children with alcoholic parents are up to four times more likely to develop an alcohol use disorder themselves. This doesn't mean you're destined to follow the same path, but it does suggest a genetic predisposition. This influence can affect how your body processes alcohol or how your brain responds to it, potentially making it feel more rewarding and harder to stop. Understanding this genetic component isn't about assigning blame; it's about gaining awareness. Knowing your family history gives you the power to be more mindful of your own choices and patterns around alcohol.

Environmental and Social Factors

Beyond genetics, the environment you grow up in plays a massive role. Living with a parent who has a substance use disorder can be incredibly challenging and shape your behaviors in profound ways. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), these children are more likely to face neglect, have trouble in school, and struggle with their own mental health. When alcohol is a constant presence in the home, it can become a normalized way of dealing with stress or celebrating wins. This learned behavior is powerful, and you might unconsciously adopt the same coping mechanisms you saw modeled for you. The good news is that learned behaviors can be unlearned. A huge part of changing your relationship with alcohol involves recognizing these patterns and actively building new, healthier ways to cope with life's ups and downs.

By the Numbers: Addiction Risk Statistics

The statistics are stark, and it’s worth sitting with them for a moment. Children of parents with an alcohol use disorder are three to four times more likely to develop one themselves. This isn't meant to suggest your future is predetermined. Instead, think of it as crucial information that highlights a significant vulnerability shaped by both genetics and the environment you grew up in. Studies show that children of parents who misuse alcohol may start drinking younger and progress more quickly to unhealthy levels of consumption. Understanding this increased risk is the first step toward consciously choosing a different path and breaking a potential cycle before it takes hold.

Other Personal Risk Factors for Addiction

While family history is a major piece of the puzzle, it’s not the whole story. Your unique personality and mental health also play a critical role in shaping your relationship with alcohol. These internal factors can influence how you cope with stress, process emotions, and navigate the world. Sometimes, the very traits and emotional wounds that stem from a difficult childhood can become independent risk factors later in life. Getting to know these parts of yourself is essential for building self-awareness and developing healthier coping strategies that don’t involve reaching for a drink.

Personality Traits and Impulsivity

Certain personality traits can make you more susceptible to using alcohol as a crutch. If you tend to be impulsive, act without thinking through the consequences, or constantly seek out new and intense experiences, alcohol’s immediate effects can feel particularly appealing. Similarly, if you struggle to express difficult emotions like anger, guilt, or sadness, you might learn to use alcohol to numb them instead. Research shows that many people view alcohol as a way to cope with stress. These aren’t character flaws; often, they are coping mechanisms developed in a chaotic environment where emotional expression wasn’t safe or predictable.

Co-occurring Mental Health Conditions

There is a strong link between alcohol misuse and co-occurring mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It’s common for people to self-medicate with alcohol to temporarily quiet anxious thoughts or lift a low mood. However, this often creates a vicious cycle where alcohol, a central nervous system depressant, worsens the underlying mental health issue over time. The emotional toll of growing up with a parent who misuses alcohol can directly contribute to these conditions, making it even more important to address both your mental well-being and your drinking habits as interconnected parts of your health.

The Connection to Anxiety, Depression, and More

Children of parents who struggled with alcohol misuse are also at a higher risk for anxiety, depression, and personality disorders, such as antisocial personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. Symptoms can develop at any age and continue into adulthood. 

Furthermore, growing up with one or both parents dependent on alcohol can result in symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in adulthood. In one study of over 25,000 adults, those who had a parent with alcohol use disorder remembered their childhoods as “difficult” and said they struggled with “bad memories” of their parent’s alcohol use. In some cases, they may develop PTSD from witnessing domestic violence or experiencing physical, sexual, and or psychological abuse.

Finding Support When Both Your Parents Are Alcoholics

If we know a person whose parent is misusing alcohol, it’s important to try to get them help. We can direct them to mutual help groups, such as AI-Anon and SMART Recovery Family and Friends, which are groups geared toward people who have been affected by the drinking of a loved one. 

AIateen is a branch of AI-Anon designed specifically for teenagers affected by the drinking of a loved one. These programs allow people to identify with peers based on similar experiences, create positive changes in their own lives, and connect with people who can understand what they’re going through. 

Similarly, children may benefit from family or individual counseling, which can help them learn to express their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Since the family unit is a critical component of substance misuse treatment, it’s often helpful to involve the entire family in the treatment process. In fact, research shows that family therapy can promote healing for both the individual struggling as well as the entire family unit. It can help the person struggling with alcohol better understand the effect their drinking has had on loved ones, and it provides loved ones the space to address unresolved issues and trauma. 

Finally, if you’re struggling with alcohol consumption and have children in the home, it’s important to reach out for help. The effect that drinking can have on your children can be detrimental to their health and well-being, both now and years down the road. While it’s never too late, research shows that when parents reduce alcohol use, especially when children are very young, children do better. 

Your Path Forward to Healing

Children of parents with alcohol use disorder can experience a wide range of psychological, emotional, and behavioral consequences that may have a lasting impact. They’re more likely to have trust issues, low self-esteem, and issues forming and maintaining relationships, not to mention an increased risk of developing alcohol use disorder and mental health conditions later in life. Without help, many of these issues can persist into adulthood and throughout their lives.

If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol, consider trying Reframe. We’re a neuroscience-backed app that has helped millions of people cut back on their alcohol consumption and develop healthier lifestyle habits.

Proactive Steps to Reduce Your Risk

While you can’t change the past, you can absolutely take control of your future. Understanding the risks associated with growing up with a parent who misuses alcohol is the first step. The next is taking proactive measures to protect your own well-being and break the cycle. This isn't about placing blame; it's about empowering yourself with knowledge and making conscious choices that align with the healthy, happy life you deserve. By being intentional about your environment, relationships, and mental health, you can build a strong foundation for a different path forward.

Avoid Early Substance Use

Studies show that children who grow up with parents who misuse alcohol often start drinking at a younger age and may progress more quickly to unhealthy consumption levels. Witnessing this behavior can normalize it, making it seem like a standard way to cope or socialize. Making a conscious decision to delay or avoid alcohol, especially during your teens and early twenties, can be a powerful way to break this pattern. It gives you time to develop other coping mechanisms and build a social life that doesn’t revolve around drinking, setting a different precedent for your own adult life.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

The people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on our behaviors and choices. Research indicates that adult children of parents with alcohol misuse are significantly more likely to choose a partner who also has a substance use disorder. This pattern can extend to friendships as well. It’s crucial to be mindful of the company you keep. Seek out friends and partners who support your well-being and whose lifestyles align with your goals. Building a supportive social circle that values healthy habits can create a positive environment that reinforces your decision to live differently.

Address Mental Health Early

Growing up in a chaotic environment can leave deep emotional scars, increasing the risk for anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. It’s vital to address these feelings head-on rather than suppressing them. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor isn't a sign of weakness; it's a sign of strength. Professional help can provide you with the tools to process your experiences, develop healthy coping strategies, and build resilience. Taking care of your mental health early can prevent the urge to self-medicate with alcohol and help you heal from the inside out.

Building Healthier Habits for the Future

Moving forward is about more than just avoiding risks; it’s about actively creating a life filled with positive, healthy habits. This is your opportunity to define what a balanced and fulfilling life looks like for you, separate from the patterns you may have observed in childhood. It involves learning new ways to handle stress, celebrate successes, and connect with others. By focusing on building new routines and mindsets, you can cultivate a future that feels authentic and empowering, proving that your past does not have to dictate your destiny.

How Mindful Drinking Can Help

For many, the answer isn't total abstinence but rather a more conscious approach to alcohol. This is where mindful drinking comes in. It’s the practice of being present and intentional with your choice to drink, paying attention to why you’re drinking, how much, and how it makes you feel. This practice puts you in the driver’s seat, helping you break away from automatic or emotional drinking habits you may have learned. Tools like the Reframe app are designed to guide you through this process, offering neuroscience-based techniques to help you change your relationship with alcohol and build a healthier, more intentional lifestyle.

Frequently Asked Questions

I feel like I'm destined to have the same problems with alcohol as my parent. Is that true? Not at all. While your family history does mean you have a higher risk due to both genetics and the environment you grew up in, it is not a life sentence. Think of it as having important information about yourself. This awareness is your greatest strength because it allows you to be more intentional about your own choices. You have the power to recognize old patterns and actively build new, healthier habits that work for you.

Why do I find it so hard to trust people or get close to anyone in my relationships? When you grow up in a home where promises are often broken and behavior is unpredictable, you learn from a young age that you can't always rely on the people closest to you. This can create a deep-seated fear of being let down that you carry into your adult relationships. You might keep people at a distance or avoid getting too close as a way to protect yourself from potential disappointment, even when the threat isn't there anymore.

My parent wasn't a "stereotypical" alcoholic, but I relate to a lot of these feelings. Can their drinking still have an impact? Absolutely. Alcohol misuse exists on a wide spectrum, and it doesn't have to look like a constant crisis to have a profound effect. Even if your parent was high-functioning, their drinking could have created an environment of emotional inconsistency, unpredictability, or neglect. Growing up with a skewed sense of what's "normal" or having to walk on eggshells can leave the same lasting emotional marks as more overt chaos.

I feel like I'm always waiting for something to go wrong. Why can't I just relax? That feeling of being constantly "on guard" is a common experience called hypervigilance. As a child in an unstable environment, you likely learned to be highly attuned to your surroundings and the moods of others as a survival skill. Your brain became wired to scan for potential threats. As an adult, that internal alarm system can stay switched on, making it incredibly difficult to feel safe and truly relax, even when you are no longer in a dangerous situation.

This is a lot to take in. What's one practical first step I can take to start healing? A great first step is simply to practice self-awareness without judgment. You don't have to solve everything at once. Try picking one feeling or behavior from this article that resonates with you—like the need for control or the fear of abandonment—and just notice when it shows up in your life this week. Simply acknowledging the pattern is a powerful move that begins to separate your past experiences from your present choices.

Key Takeaways

• Recognize the Childhood Roots of Adult Behaviors: Many common struggles in adulthood—like difficulty with trust, a constant need for control, or low self-worth—are often direct results of growing up in an unstable environment with a parent who misused alcohol. Identifying these connections is the first step toward healing.
• Know Your Risk Factors Without Letting Them Define You: Being the child of a parent with an alcohol use disorder means you're three to four times more likely to develop one yourself due to both genetics and learned behaviors. This knowledge isn't a sentence; it's a tool that empowers you to be more conscious of your own habits.
• Build a Healthier Future Through Intentional Choices: You can break the cycle by taking proactive steps. This includes addressing your mental health with professional support, surrounding yourself with people who support your goals, and developing a more conscious relationship with alcohol through practices like mindful drinking.

Related Articles

• How Parents' Drinking Habits Affect Their Kids
• Understanding Alcoholism's Impact on Families: How To Help
• Mommy Wine Culture: Harmful or Helpful?
• How Do You Help an Alcoholic Son | Alcoholic Son Living at Home