How To Make (and Keep) Friends as an Adult

As we navigate the unending list of challenges of adulthood, our social circles often seem to shrink faster than our favorite jeans after a tumble in the dryer. As we juggling careers, family life, and personal pursuits, it can feel like there's barely time to breathe, let alone forge new friendships or nurture existing ones. But fear not! Just as those jeans can be stretched back into shape, so too can your social life. Here are nine simple steps you can take to improve your relationships now — your ultimate guide to making and keeping friends as an adult.

1. Embrace Openness and Approachability

The first step on your friendship journey is to become a beacon of openness and approachability. Think of yourself as a human welcome sign, inviting others to step into your world. A warm smile, direct eye contact, and genuine interest in others can be as inviting as a freshly baked batch of cookies. Remember, it's not about showing off your latest accomplishments or your shiny new car, but about connecting heart-to-heart.

2. Dive Into Social Activities

Next, step out of your comfort zone and dive headfirst into social activities that suit your interests. Whether it's a book club, a Zumba class, a cooking group, or a volunteer organization, these environments are ripe for friendship formation. Joining a hiking group, for example, not only gets you out in the fresh air but also offers countless opportunities to bond with fellow nature-lovers.

3. Be the Friendship Trailblazer

In the world of adult friendships, waiting for others to make the first move can often leave you stranded. So, be the trailblazer! If you meet someone who sparks your interest, seize the opportunity and suggest a coffee date, a leisurely walk, or a casual get-together. Think of it as inviting them to join you on a mini-adventure — and who could resist that?

4. Become a Listening Superstar

Listening is a superpower in the realm of friendships. When someone shares their thoughts, feelings, or experiences, show them you're genuinely interested. Resist the urge to interrupt or steer the conversation back to yourself. People who feel heard and validated are more likely to trust us and want to open up to us.

5. Be the Friend Who's Always There

Reliability is the sturdy foundation upon which friendships are built. If you make plans, stick to them unless there’s an emergency and you can’t follow-through. If you promise to do something, honor your commitments. Being consistent and showing up will make it more likely that others will want to spend time with us and get to know us better.

6. Keep the Friendship Flame Alive

Keeping the friendship flame alive requires regular contact. This doesn't mean you need to chat every day or meet up every week. But a simple text message, email, or phone call can be like a spark that keeps the friendship fire burning brightly. Showing you care can go a long way!

7. Practice the Art of Patience

Friendships are like fine wine; they need time to mature. So, practice the art of patience. Don't rush the process or try to force intimacy. It's like planting a seed and waiting for it to grow, knowing that with time and care, it will blossom into something beautiful.

8. Be Unapologetically You

Authenticity is the secret ingredient that makes friendships truly satisfying. Pretending to be someone else is like wearing a mask — it's uncomfortable and people can see right through it. By being yourself, you attract people who appreciate the real you, leading to more fulfilling friendships.

9. Foster Friendships Sans Alcohol

Finally, in a society where socializing often revolves around alcohol, it's important to remember that meaningful connections can be made without it. Opt for activities that don't involve alcohol, like coffee dates, outdoor adventures, or hobby clubs. These environments allow for genuine connections based on shared interests, not just shared drinks.

Making and keeping friends as an adult might require a bit more effort and intentionality than in our carefree younger years. But the rewards — a robust social network, a shoulder to lean on, a partner in crime for life's adventures — are worth their weight in gold.

So, step out of your comfort zone, seize the initiative, and start cultivating those friendships today. Remember, it's never too late to make a new friend. After all, every friend was once a stranger. So, get out there and start turning those strangers into friends!