A team of researchers and psychologists who specialize in behavioral health and neuroscience. This group collaborates to produce insightful and evidence-based content.
Certified recovery coach specialized in helping everyone redefine their relationship with alcohol. His approach in coaching focuses on habit formation and addressing the stress in our lives.
Recognized by Fortune and Fast Company as a top innovator shaping the future of health and known for his pivotal role in helping individuals change their relationship with alcohol.
September 16, 2024
·
16
Reframe Content Team
September 16, 2024
·
16
What happens when you decide to live an alcohol-free life, but the questions keep popping up? How do you handle celebratory triggers? What about those unsettling dreams? And are alcohol-free drinks really a good idea? In a recent coaching session, Scott Pinyard, the head coach for This Naked Mind, tackles these exact challenges. Pinyard provides practical advice and powerful insights for anyone looking to drink less with This Naked Mind. He shows you how to handle these common hurdles with a simple shift in perspective, not just willpower.
Celebratory Triggers: Understanding the deep-rooted cultural association between celebration and alcohol can help reframe how we approach joyous occasions.
Alcohol-Related Dreams: These unsettling dreams are common and signify the brain's process of healing and adjusting to an alcohol-free life.
Alcohol-Free Beverages: The suitability of alcohol-free wines and beers varies from person to person and depends on individual triggers and preferences.
Obsessive Self-Talk: It's essential to shift negative self-talk to positive reinforcement to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the process of quitting alcohol.
Who is Scott Pinyard?
Scott Pinyard is a coach, counselor, and mentor who has dedicated his career to helping people create meaningful change. As the head coach for This Naked Mind, he offers online, one-on-one support for individuals looking to move away from alcohol. His main focus is helping people stop drinking by understanding the mental and physical reasons behind their habits. Instead of just treating the behavior, Scott guides people to explore the underlying thoughts and beliefs that drive them to drink. This approach empowers individuals to make lasting changes from the inside out, creating a foundation for a healthier life that isn't built on restriction but on genuine understanding and freedom.
His work resonates because it moves beyond simple abstinence. Scott’s method is about transforming your entire relationship with alcohol, which aligns with the principles of mindful drinking and conscious choice. He provides the tools and support necessary for people to not just quit drinking, but to build a life they don’t feel the need to escape from. By addressing the root causes of alcohol use, he helps people find more effective ways to handle stress, celebrate successes, and connect with others. This holistic perspective is what makes his guidance so effective for those seeking long-term, sustainable change.
His Core Philosophy: Insight Over Willpower
At the heart of Scott's coaching is a simple but powerful idea: insight is more effective than willpower. He believes that true, lasting change comes from "insight"—understanding things in a new way—rather than just trying harder with willpower. We’ve all experienced how draining it can be to rely on sheer force of will to resist something. It’s a finite resource that eventually runs out, often leaving us feeling defeated and back where we started. Insight, on the other hand, is about having that "aha" moment where your perspective shifts. It’s when you truly understand why you’re reaching for a drink and realize that it’s not actually giving you what you need. This shift doesn't require constant effort; it changes your desire at a fundamental level.
Understanding the 'Why' Behind Your Habits
Building on his core philosophy, Scott emphasizes the importance of discovering the "why" behind your actions. From his experience helping many people, he has found that understanding *why* you do things is much more powerful than just trying to stop. This means getting curious about your triggers and patterns without judgment. Are you drinking because of stress, boredom, social pressure, or something else entirely? When you identify the root cause, you can start to address that need directly instead of using alcohol as a temporary fix. This process of self-discovery gives you the power to dismantle the habit from its foundation, making the change feel less like a battle and more like a natural evolution toward a healthier you.
Rethinking Celebrations: Finding Joy Without Alcohol
One of the most compelling parts of the video is Scott Pinyard’s discussion on why happy occasions often trigger the need for alcohol. He points out that our culture has deeply ingrained the association of celebration with alcohol. From movies to real-life events like weddings and holidays, alcohol is almost always present. This cultural conditioning creates a subconscious link between celebration and inebriation.
Scott provides a practical exercise to help reframe these celebratory events. He suggests visualizing the event and identifying what aspects of it you genuinely look forward to. Is it the time spent with family, the music, or the atmosphere? By focusing on these elements, you can redefine the celebration without involving alcohol. This shift in perspective can make the event more enjoyable and fulfilling, as you are no longer relying on alcohol to enhance the experience.
Managing Relationships When You Change Your Drinking
Changing your relationship with alcohol is a personal decision, but it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It can ripple through your social circles and closest partnerships, especially if drinking has been a shared activity. Navigating these shifts requires clear communication and a bit of planning. It’s not just about what you’re giving up, but also about how you’ll redefine connections and find new ways to enjoy time with the people you care about. This process can feel tricky, but it’s entirely possible to maintain strong, healthy relationships while prioritizing your own well-being.
Guidance for When Your Spouse Still Drinks
When your partner continues to drink, it can feel like you’re on two different paths. The key to moving forward together is open and honest communication. It’s important to explain your “why” and what this change means to you. Instead of setting rigid rules, try framing it as a team effort. You could say something like, “This is important for my health, and I’d love to figure out how we can support each other.” This might mean asking them not to offer you a drink or brainstorming new date night ideas that don’t revolve around alcohol. Creating a supportive home environment is crucial, and that starts with a conversation where both partners feel heard and respected.
How to Socialize with Friends Who Drink
One of the biggest fears when you stop drinking is that your social life will disappear. While the dynamic will certainly change, it doesn’t have to end. You can still go to happy hours, parties, and dinners. The trick is to go in with a plan. Decide what you’ll drink beforehand—a club soda with lime or a non-alcoholic beer can help you feel included. If you’re worried about questions, have a simple, brief answer ready. Something like, “I’m taking a break for my health” is usually enough. Over time, you’ll learn which friends and situations feel supportive and which ones are draining, allowing you to practice mindful drinking choices that protect your peace.
Meeting New Alcohol-Free People
While you work on navigating existing friendships, it can be incredibly refreshing to connect with new people who share your alcohol-free lifestyle. This doesn’t mean you have to replace your old friends, but building a network that understands your journey can provide a powerful sense of belonging. You can find these connections in places that align with your interests, like a hiking group, a book club, or a volunteer organization. Online communities are also a fantastic resource. Apps like Reframe offer access to a built-in community of people who are on the same path and can offer advice, encouragement, and a judgment-free space to share your experiences.
What Do Dreams About Drinking Really Mean?
Another intriguing topic Scott tackles is the occurrence of unsettling dreams during the early stages of living alcohol-free. These dreams often feel incredibly real and can be quite disturbing. According to Scott, these dreams are a sign that your brain is processing the changes you are going through.
Scott shares his own vivid dream experience, where he dreamt about breaking his sobriety and felt the emotions and physical sensations of a hangover upon waking. He emphasizes that these dreams are a normal part of the healing process and should be seen as a positive sign that your brain is working through the changes.
To cope with these dreams, Scott recommends writing them down and expressing them in some way. This helps in processing the emotions tied to the dream rather than bottling them up. Additionally, ensuring a good sleep routine and allowing yourself to take naps can aid in managing these unsettling dreams.
Are Alcohol-Free Drinks Right for You?
Scott also delves into the topic of alcohol-free wines and beers. He explains that the suitability of these beverages varies from person to person. For some, the taste of alcohol-free beer or wine can be a trigger, while for others, it serves as a helpful replacement.
Scott shares his own journey with alcohol-free beverages. Initially, he avoided them and opted for seltzer instead. However, over time, he found that he could occasionally enjoy an alcohol-free beer without feeling triggered. He advises that if you are curious about alcohol-free beverages, it’s worth experimenting to see how they make you feel. The key is to listen to your body and mind and make choices that support your sobriety journey.
How to Quiet Your Inner Critic
The final question Scott addresses is about the obsessive self-talk that many people experience when quitting alcohol. Constantly reminding oneself of the negatives of drinking can feel like brainwashing, even though the information is true. Scott explains that this kind of self-talk can become damaging if it leads to constant negative feelings.
He suggests shifting the focus from negative reinforcement to positive reinforcement. Instead of constantly thinking about the bad things you want to avoid, focus on the good things you are gaining. For example, instead of thinking, "I don't want to wake up with a hangover," think, "I'm so glad I wake up feeling refreshed." This shift in perspective can generate gratitude and make the process of quitting alcohol feel more rewarding and less burdensome.
Scott also mentions the ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) technique as a useful tool for managing negative thoughts. By examining whether these thoughts are helpful or not, you can choose to focus on more positive and constructive thoughts.
Scott's Coaching Expertise Beyond Alcohol
While Scott is a leading voice in the alcohol-free movement, his coaching wisdom extends far beyond changing your relationship with drinking. The principles he teaches are universal tools for personal growth, applicable to many of life’s challenges. He focuses on the idea that our internal state—our thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives—shapes our external reality. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, navigating a difficult relationship, or simply feeling stuck, his approach offers a path forward that isn't about forcing change through sheer grit. Instead, it’s about understanding the root of your habits and beliefs to create genuine, lasting transformation from the inside out.
This holistic approach is powerful because it addresses the underlying patterns that often lead us to seek comfort in habits like drinking in the first place. By learning to manage self-doubt, reframe negative thought patterns, and take personal responsibility for our narratives, we can build a more resilient and fulfilling life. Scott’s work shows that the journey to change your drinking is often part of a much larger journey of self-discovery and empowerment. The skills you develop to live alcohol-free are the same ones that will serve you in creating a life that feels authentic and aligned with your values in every other area.
Support for Anxiety, Self-Doubt, and Feeling Stuck
Scott believes that lasting change comes from shifting how you see things, not just from willpower. He emphasizes that true transformation stems from "insight"—understanding things in a new way—rather than just trying harder to push through a problem. This is especially helpful when dealing with anxiety or self-doubt, where simply "trying not to worry" often makes things worse. According to Scott's coaching philosophy, by changing how you think about yourself and the world, things that once seemed impossible can become possible. This shift brings a renewed sense of hope and freedom, allowing you to move forward without being held back by old patterns.
Finding Peace in Coparenting
Navigating relationships can be one of life's biggest challenges, especially when it comes to coparenting. Scott’s coaching provides a framework for finding peace in these complex dynamics. He explains that our personal "stories"—the beliefs and past experiences we carry—greatly affect how we parent and interact with our co-parent. Understanding these internal narratives is the first step toward changing them for the better. By taking personal responsibility and consciously creating new, more constructive beliefs, parents can find more peace and create a healthier, more stable environment for their children to thrive in.
More Insights from Scott Pinyard
Scott Pinyard’s coaching session is a treasure trove of practical advice and relatable experiences. His approach is compassionate and understanding, acknowledging the challenges while providing actionable steps to overcome them. One of the key strengths of this episode is its emphasis on reframing experiences and focusing on the positive aspects of living an alcohol-free life.
For those using the Reframe app, Scott’s insights align well with the app’s approach to habit change. Reframe’s evidence-based behavior change programs and supportive community can provide additional tools and support for anyone looking to reduce their alcohol consumption. Scott’s advice on celebrating without alcohol, managing alcohol-related dreams, and exploring alcohol-free beverages can be integrated into your journey with Reframe, enhancing your overall well-being.
By exploring these resources, you can find additional support and inspiration for your journey towards healthier drinking habits and overall well-being.
The Podcast
In his coaching session on the "This Naked Mind" podcast, Scott Pinyard tackles some of the most common hurdles people face when they decide to drink less or stop entirely. He offers practical advice on everything from handling celebratory triggers to making sense of strange dreams about alcohol and figuring out if non-alcoholic drinks are a good fit for you. The episode, "Coaching Questions with Scott Pinyard," provides clear, compassionate guidance that can help you feel less alone in your experience. It’s a really helpful listen for anyone looking for relatable insights and actionable strategies to support their journey, especially if you want a fresh perspective on navigating social situations or understanding the ways your brain adjusts to change.
Free Intro Course
Scott’s approach is built on the idea that real, lasting change isn’t about white-knuckling it through cravings; it’s about shifting your perspective. If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or just ready for something new, he offers a free introductory course to help you find a different path forward. This is a great starting point for anyone who wants to explore a new way of thinking about alcohol without the pressure of willpower alone. It’s designed for those who feel like they’ve outgrown their current way of living and are ready to create change from the inside out. The course helps you dig into your beliefs about alcohol so you can make choices that feel empowering, not restrictive.
Coaching Program
For those looking for more personalized guidance, Scott also works as a coach, counselor, and mentor. He provides one-on-one online support, focusing on helping you understand the mental and physical reasons behind your drinking habits. This deeper work is designed to help you not just change your behavior, but to truly understand yourself and create sustainable growth in your life. Working directly with a coach can provide the accountability and tailored strategies needed to move past obstacles and build a life you’re excited about. It’s an opportunity to get support that’s specific to your unique situation and goals, helping you move forward with confidence.
Frequently Asked Questions
My spouse still drinks, and it's tough. What's the best way to talk to them about it? Open communication is your best tool here. Try to find a calm moment to explain why this change is important to you, focusing on your own health and goals rather than their habits. You could frame it as a team effort by asking for their support in specific ways, like not offering you a drink or brainstorming new date night ideas that don't center on alcohol. The goal is to help them understand your perspective and find ways you can still connect while respecting your new path.
I had a dream I was drinking and woke up feeling guilty. Does this mean I'm going to fail? Not at all. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Dreams like this are incredibly common and are actually a sign that your brain is healing and processing this major life change. Think of it as your mind working through old patterns and adjusting to a new reality. Instead of seeing it as a bad omen, try to view it as a sign of progress. It shows how committed you are to this change, even in your subconscious.
How do I handle a big event like a wedding or holiday party without feeling like I'm missing out? The key is to go in with a plan and a fresh perspective. Before you go, decide what you’ll drink—a seltzer with lime or a non-alcoholic cocktail can help you feel part of the celebration. More importantly, shift your focus to what you’re truly there for: the people, the music, the conversation, or the food. When you concentrate on the genuine sources of joy at an event, you’ll find that alcohol becomes much less important to the experience.
Are non-alcoholic beers and wines a good idea, or are they a slippery slope? This is a really personal decision, as there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. For some people, an alcohol-free drink can satisfy a craving and help them feel included in social settings. For others, the taste and ritual can be a trigger that makes them want the real thing. The best approach is to be curious and honest with yourself. If you decide to try one, pay close attention to how it makes you feel. If it supports your goals, great. If it creates more cravings, it might be best to stick with other options.
I feel like all I do is tell myself 'don't drink.' How can I shift my mindset so it doesn't feel like a constant battle? This is where focusing on positive reinforcement makes a huge difference. Instead of constantly reminding yourself of the negatives you're avoiding, try celebrating what you're gaining. For example, rather than thinking, "I can't have a drink," reframe it as, "I get to wake up feeling clear and refreshed tomorrow." This simple shift moves your focus from restriction to reward, which makes the entire process feel more like an empowering choice and less like a chore.
Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!
The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.
You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.
Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.
And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).
The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!
Reframe has helped over 2 millions people to build healthier drinking habits globally
At Reframe, we do science, not stigma. We base our articles on the latest peer-reviewed research in psychology, neuroscience, and behavioral science. We follow the Reframe Content Creation Guidelines, to ensure that we share accurate and actionable information with our readers. This aids them in making informed decisions on their wellness journey. Learn more
Updated Regularly
Our articles undergo frequent updates to present the newest scientific research and changes in expert consensus in an easily understandable and implementable manner.
