Why 12 Step Programs Don't Work for Everyone
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There’s a funny situation that regularly comes up in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) communities. Someone will talk about a PTA meeting, church retreat, or company recruiting event where they accidentally introduced themselves as an alcoholic as everyone was going around the circle and saying their names. “My name is (so-and-so), and I’m an alcoholic” — for people in AA, the words become so natural that they come out automatically.
And yet these words are some of the hardest to say that first time. For many people, it’s the worst-case scenario: maybe they’re court-ordered to attend AA meetings after receiving a DUI, or maybe they’re introduced to the program at a detox facility or even in prison. And while a lot of people find relief, support, and recovery in 12-step programs, they don’t work for everyone — and that’s completely okay. So what is a 12-step program? And what are some alternatives to 12-step programs if you decide they’re not your thing? Let’s find out!
First, let’s take a brief look at the story behind 12-step programs and their original founder, as well as the basic philosophy of recovery it’s based on.
Back in the 1930s — in the heyday of Prohibition — salesman and military officer Bill Wilson found himself in trouble. Bill W., as he came to be known, couldn’t stop drinking. With doctors having given up on him, he was apparently headed for an imminent death, but he had a spiritual awakening, lost his desire to drink, and founded a peer-based nonprofit program called Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) together with his friend, physician Bob Smith.
While Bill W.’s work has undoubtedly benefited many people — and was well-intended — it’s worth noting that Bill himself was a bit of a shady character. As a womanizer and serial 13th-stepper — an AA colloquial term for older male participants going after younger female members — he couldn’t prevent his views of women from seeping into the pages of the Big Book. Whether or not that discredits any of the information inside (and to what degree) is for everyone to decide for themselves.
The program itself was originally based on the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous written by Bill W. The book begins with Bill’s own story and outlines the core principles that he saw as central to his recovery as the “12 Steps.” Traditionally, members “work” the steps with a sponsor — an experienced group member who has completed the 12 Steps and has been sober for some time.
The 12 Steps themselves are a list of core principles that serve as a roadmap to recovery, AA-style. Here’s a brief rundown:
Admitting powerlessness. The first three steps introduce the idea of powerlessness over alcohol and introduce the concept of a “Higher Power” that can help “restore sanity” to what has become an “unmanageable” existence. While traditionally the “Higher Power” was synonymous with God, these days there’s a lot more flexibility — it can be anything from a different deity to the community of AA itself.
Listing character defects. Steps 4-7 deal with the so-called character defects — a broad term that encompasses resentments and any personal traits that might drive a person to drink. The idea is to make a “moral inventory” that lists these defects, then go over them with a sponsor and ask the Higher Power to remove them.
Making amends. This is perhaps the most publicized part of the 12 Steps: the so-called “amends” that call for members to tie up the many loose ends alcohol has created in their lives and personal relationships. Contrary to some popular misconceptions, amends are not “apologies” — they’re heart-to-heart conversations that often involve admitting our wrongs, but that are mostly meant to resolve anything that’s left unresolved. That said, when wrongs have been done, members are encouraged to do their best to correct them, whether that means apologizing or making financial restitution.
Continuing on the path of spiritual growth. The final steps call for a continued commitment to sobriety, fostered by prayer and meditation. They also mention the importance of admitting our wrongs as quickly as possible to avoid the emotional traps that contributed to our drinking patterns.
These days, AA has gone global, and the 12 steps have been applied to other forms of addiction, such as drugs (Narcotics Anonymous), eating disorders (Overeaters Anonymous), gambling (Gamblers Anonymous), and many others.
Some meetings are open to the public, while others only admit those who identify as alcoholics. The format itself can also vary:
What is the success rate of AA and other 12-step programs? The truth is, it’s really hard to tell. Some people stay sober for years while continuing to go to meetings — they tend to attribute their success to the program and believe that it can truly work for anyone (“It works if you work it,” as they say). There’s a bit of a chicken-and-egg dilemma here, though: would these 12-step advocates have gotten sober without AA? There’s just no way of knowing. Would they have stayed sober if they left the group and found another way to support their recovery? Perhaps.
There’s also a statistic that has been floating around, one that claims AA only works “5% of the time.” Its origins (and veracity) are a bit of a mystery, since it’s difficult to quantify “recovery rate” in the first place. With many different components and variables at play, it’s hard to come up with a single definition of what “recovery” even is — let alone figure out a way to measure it.
In the end, it’s simple: recovery is personal, and what works for some of us might not work for others.
Recovery is a personal journey. And there are many ways to get there! Let’s explore some alternatives to 12-step programs to get an idea of the spectrum of recovery options available today.
These steps can help you find a recovery path that works for you.
In the end, your relationship with alcohol is yours to define, and the key is finding a solution that works for you. Whatever path you choose, know that the very fact that you’re on this journey means you’re making progress to a healthier, happier version of yourself. There’s no such thing as “going backwards” or “starting back at square one” — even if you have to change course.
In Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions, comedian Russell Brand writes, “The feeling you have that 'there's something else' is real. What happens when you don't follow the compulsion? What is on the other side of my need [...]? The only way to find out is to not do it, and that is a novel act of faith.” Exactly how we embark on the adventure of finding out what’s on the “other side” is up to us — so let’s approach it in the spirit of curiosity and excitement. There’s so much to gain from exploring a life with less alcohol and absolutely nothing to lose.
1. What are 12-Step Programs, and how do they work?
12-Step Programs are a group of principles designed for people overcoming addiction, offering a structured path and community support. They work by guiding individuals through a series of introspective steps, focusing on admitting powerlessness over addiction, moral inventory, and spiritual growth.
2. Why don't 12-Step Programs work for everyone?
Not everyone finds 12-Step Programs effective due to personal beliefs, the program's spiritual underpinnings, or the need for a more personalized approach. Individual differences in background, preferences, and psychological makeup can affect how well one responds to the programs.
3. What are some alternatives to 12-Step Programs?
Alternatives include Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and holistic approaches, other support groups, individual counseling, family therapy, and technology-assisted interventions.
4. Can I combine different recovery methods?
Absolutely! Many people find that a combination of methods, such as a 12-Step Program with individual therapy or medication, works best. Tailoring your recovery to your unique needs is often key to success.
5. What role does community play in recovery?
Community is essential in recovery — it provides critical support and a sense of belonging while showing you that recovery is possible. Whether it's through 12-Step meetings or alternative support groups, connecting with others facing similar challenges can be incredibly beneficial.
6. How can I get started with finding the right recovery path?
You can start by deciding what your goals are when it comes to the role of alcohol in your life. Then, try different options to see what resonates with you. The most important step is to begin exploring and remain open to various possibilities.
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