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Latest Articles
2023-07-10 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
Self-Sabotage: End the War With Yourself
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Ever wondered why you seem to trip over your own feet on the path to self-improvement? Unmask self-sabotage with our science-backed blog!

12 min read

Tackle Self-Sabotage With Reframe!

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Read Full Article  →

Imagine you're just about to reach an important goal, such as landing your dream job or maintaining a healthy relationship, when suddenly — out of nowhere! — you find yourself neck-deep in behaviors that push you further away from your goals. If this sounds familiar, you've likely been the target of self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage happens when we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals. This behavior reflects our internal, often unconscious, fear of failure or success.

False Alarm

Self-sabotage is complex and multifaceted, with many psychological and neurological elements at play. The roots of self-sabotage lie in our brain's natural "fight or flight" response.

When confronted with a physical threat — a stranger in a dark alley, a poisonous snake on a hiking trail, a potted plant falling from a balcony above — our brain activates this response to protect us.

However, when faced with abstract threats — such as the fear of failure or of discomfort — our brains can misinterpret the feelings of danger and respond by getting our bodies ready for action even when there’s nothing to “fight” or “flee.” The result is counterproductive: fleeing from a job interview won’t get you any closer to landing the job, and snapping at a coworker who annoys you certainly won’t do you any favors.

Cognitive Dissonance

According to psychologists, another factor at play is cognitive dissonance — that uncomfortable feeling when our actions don't align with our beliefs or values. For instance, if we see ourselves as introverts but our job requires networking, we may sabotage our own efforts to avoid that discomfort.

The Common Faces of Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage often masquerades in different forms. Its favorite disguises? Procrastination, perfectionism, and the often-overlooked self-deprecation.

  • Procrastination is the sly fox of self-sabotage. It whispers sweet nothings about the allure of "later," until we find ourselves scrambling to meet deadlines.
  • Perfectionism, on the other hand, is the immaculate wolf in sheep's clothing. It persuades us that unless everything is perfect, it's not worth doing, ultimately leading to avoidance or half-hearted attempts.
  • Lastly, self-deprecation is the sullen “sad clown” mask. By belittling ourselves, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which our low expectations for ourselves turn into reality.

Friends in Disguise

Before we track down self-sabotage, let's pause for a moment. While it's true that self-sabotage can hinder our progress, it also provides valuable insights into our hidden fears and insecurities.

Our self-sabotaging behaviors may be our brain's clumsy way of trying to protect us from perceived threats. Understanding this helps us change our perspective, transforming self-sabotage from an enemy to a quirky, well-meaning friend who just needs a little guidance. In other words, not every thought or automatic reaction we have has to be taken seriously — it’s okay to be picky about what thoughts we identify with.

Self-Sabotage on the Alcohol Journey

If you're trying to drink less, first of all, hats off to you! It's a brave decision that requires courage and determination. But as you journey towards your goal, you might notice that self-sabotage creeps in to get you off track.

You might find yourself making excuses to drink, skipping your support group meetings, or neglecting to use the coping strategies you've learned. Why does this happen? Once again, there’s science behind it.

The human brain loves its comfort zone, and any change — including cutting back on alcohol — is perceived as a threat to the comfortable status quo. Your brain isn’t working against you: it's just sticking to its job of keeping things in balance and avoiding the unknown.

Additionally, neuroscientists have found that substances like alcohol can modify the brain's reward system. When you try to cut back, your brain may instigate self-sabotaging behaviors to seek the reward it's used to receiving from alcohol.

Identifying self-sabotage can be tricky: it's a master of disguise. It might come as procrastination ("I'll start cutting back tomorrow"),  denial ("I don't have a problem with alcohol"), or even justification ("I've had a hard day, I deserve a drink”).

Remember, self-sabotage isn't the real enemy. It's just a sign of deeper issues like fear, guilt, or low self-esteem. Unpacking these underlying feelings can work wonders in getting past self-sabotage and progressing on your alcohol reduction journey!

Reining in Self-Sabotage

If you're ready to make some changes, here are some practical steps to help you steer clear self-sabotage:

  • Recognize the signs. Become aware of your patterns. Do you tend to procrastinate, aim for impossible perfection, or put yourself down?
  • Understand your fears. Dive deep and try to understand what fears or insecurities might be driving your self-sabotage. Are you afraid of failure? Or perhaps, success?
  • Practice mindfulness. Regular mindfulness practices can help you stay in tune with your thoughts and behaviors. They can also help reduce stress, which is often a trigger for self-sabotage.
  • Set realistic goals. Too high, and they're daunting; too low, and they're uninspiring. Setting goals that are "just right" can help keep self-sabotage at bay.
  • Cultivate self-compassion. Being hard on ourselves fuels self-sabotage. Practicing self-compassion can help you respond to setbacks with understanding rather than criticism.
  • Reframe failures. Changing the narrative around failure can be a powerful tool. Instead of viewing it as a defeat, see it as a learning opportunity.

As for tackling self-sabotage in the context of alcohol, here are some things to try:

  • Identify your triggers. Recognize situations, emotions, or people that provoke your urge to drink. Understanding these triggers can help you develop effective coping strategies.
  • Replace old habits. Instead of focusing on eliminating drinking, try to replace it with fun and healthy activities, such as exercising, meditating, or pursuing a hobby. Also, if your social life has revolved around situations where alcohol is the main event, try exploring new social settings that don’t involve drinking. Join a club, take up a new hobby, or volunteer in your community.
  • Plan your responses. Prepare responses for when you're offered a drink. This can relieve the pressure of having to come up with a refusal on the spot and reduce the chances of giving in.
  • Try the "HALT" method. This acronym stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired — states that can often trigger the urge to drink. When you feel the urge, check in with yourself. Are you experiencing any of these states? Addressing them can help reduce the urge to drink.
  • Make your environment alcohol-free. If possible, remove alcohol from your home, at least initially. This can drastically reduce the availability and accessibility, hence reducing temptation.
  • Seek support. Joining a support group or seeking professional help can provide you with the necessary tools to combat self-sabotage and stick to your alcohol reduction plan.
  • Use visualization techniques. Visualization can be a powerful tool. Picture yourself successfully resisting a drink or waking up the next morning hangover-free and feeling great. These positive images can reinforce your motivation.
  • Reward yourself. Positive reinforcement can motivate you to stay on track. Celebrate your milestones, no matter how small they might seem.

Embracing the Journey

By understanding the science behind self-sabotage and employing practical steps to manage it, we can change our relationship with this pesky mental roommate. By integrating these steps into your journey, you can build a robust, comprehensive approach to managing self-sabotage while successfully reducing alcohol consumption. With some introspection and a dash of self-compassion, we might even come to appreciate the insight that self-sabotage can offer.

With every challenge you face, you're not just moving closer to your destination, you're also gaining strength, resilience, and a deeper understanding of yourself. So buckle up, keep an eye on the horizon, and embrace the journey with all its unique challenges and rewards.

Imagine you're just about to reach an important goal, such as landing your dream job or maintaining a healthy relationship, when suddenly — out of nowhere! — you find yourself neck-deep in behaviors that push you further away from your goals. If this sounds familiar, you've likely been the target of self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage happens when we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals. This behavior reflects our internal, often unconscious, fear of failure or success.

False Alarm

Self-sabotage is complex and multifaceted, with many psychological and neurological elements at play. The roots of self-sabotage lie in our brain's natural "fight or flight" response.

When confronted with a physical threat — a stranger in a dark alley, a poisonous snake on a hiking trail, a potted plant falling from a balcony above — our brain activates this response to protect us.

However, when faced with abstract threats — such as the fear of failure or of discomfort — our brains can misinterpret the feelings of danger and respond by getting our bodies ready for action even when there’s nothing to “fight” or “flee.” The result is counterproductive: fleeing from a job interview won’t get you any closer to landing the job, and snapping at a coworker who annoys you certainly won’t do you any favors.

Cognitive Dissonance

According to psychologists, another factor at play is cognitive dissonance — that uncomfortable feeling when our actions don't align with our beliefs or values. For instance, if we see ourselves as introverts but our job requires networking, we may sabotage our own efforts to avoid that discomfort.

The Common Faces of Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage often masquerades in different forms. Its favorite disguises? Procrastination, perfectionism, and the often-overlooked self-deprecation.

  • Procrastination is the sly fox of self-sabotage. It whispers sweet nothings about the allure of "later," until we find ourselves scrambling to meet deadlines.
  • Perfectionism, on the other hand, is the immaculate wolf in sheep's clothing. It persuades us that unless everything is perfect, it's not worth doing, ultimately leading to avoidance or half-hearted attempts.
  • Lastly, self-deprecation is the sullen “sad clown” mask. By belittling ourselves, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which our low expectations for ourselves turn into reality.

Friends in Disguise

Before we track down self-sabotage, let's pause for a moment. While it's true that self-sabotage can hinder our progress, it also provides valuable insights into our hidden fears and insecurities.

Our self-sabotaging behaviors may be our brain's clumsy way of trying to protect us from perceived threats. Understanding this helps us change our perspective, transforming self-sabotage from an enemy to a quirky, well-meaning friend who just needs a little guidance. In other words, not every thought or automatic reaction we have has to be taken seriously — it’s okay to be picky about what thoughts we identify with.

Self-Sabotage on the Alcohol Journey

If you're trying to drink less, first of all, hats off to you! It's a brave decision that requires courage and determination. But as you journey towards your goal, you might notice that self-sabotage creeps in to get you off track.

You might find yourself making excuses to drink, skipping your support group meetings, or neglecting to use the coping strategies you've learned. Why does this happen? Once again, there’s science behind it.

The human brain loves its comfort zone, and any change — including cutting back on alcohol — is perceived as a threat to the comfortable status quo. Your brain isn’t working against you: it's just sticking to its job of keeping things in balance and avoiding the unknown.

Additionally, neuroscientists have found that substances like alcohol can modify the brain's reward system. When you try to cut back, your brain may instigate self-sabotaging behaviors to seek the reward it's used to receiving from alcohol.

Identifying self-sabotage can be tricky: it's a master of disguise. It might come as procrastination ("I'll start cutting back tomorrow"),  denial ("I don't have a problem with alcohol"), or even justification ("I've had a hard day, I deserve a drink”).

Remember, self-sabotage isn't the real enemy. It's just a sign of deeper issues like fear, guilt, or low self-esteem. Unpacking these underlying feelings can work wonders in getting past self-sabotage and progressing on your alcohol reduction journey!

Reining in Self-Sabotage

If you're ready to make some changes, here are some practical steps to help you steer clear self-sabotage:

  • Recognize the signs. Become aware of your patterns. Do you tend to procrastinate, aim for impossible perfection, or put yourself down?
  • Understand your fears. Dive deep and try to understand what fears or insecurities might be driving your self-sabotage. Are you afraid of failure? Or perhaps, success?
  • Practice mindfulness. Regular mindfulness practices can help you stay in tune with your thoughts and behaviors. They can also help reduce stress, which is often a trigger for self-sabotage.
  • Set realistic goals. Too high, and they're daunting; too low, and they're uninspiring. Setting goals that are "just right" can help keep self-sabotage at bay.
  • Cultivate self-compassion. Being hard on ourselves fuels self-sabotage. Practicing self-compassion can help you respond to setbacks with understanding rather than criticism.
  • Reframe failures. Changing the narrative around failure can be a powerful tool. Instead of viewing it as a defeat, see it as a learning opportunity.

As for tackling self-sabotage in the context of alcohol, here are some things to try:

  • Identify your triggers. Recognize situations, emotions, or people that provoke your urge to drink. Understanding these triggers can help you develop effective coping strategies.
  • Replace old habits. Instead of focusing on eliminating drinking, try to replace it with fun and healthy activities, such as exercising, meditating, or pursuing a hobby. Also, if your social life has revolved around situations where alcohol is the main event, try exploring new social settings that don’t involve drinking. Join a club, take up a new hobby, or volunteer in your community.
  • Plan your responses. Prepare responses for when you're offered a drink. This can relieve the pressure of having to come up with a refusal on the spot and reduce the chances of giving in.
  • Try the "HALT" method. This acronym stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired — states that can often trigger the urge to drink. When you feel the urge, check in with yourself. Are you experiencing any of these states? Addressing them can help reduce the urge to drink.
  • Make your environment alcohol-free. If possible, remove alcohol from your home, at least initially. This can drastically reduce the availability and accessibility, hence reducing temptation.
  • Seek support. Joining a support group or seeking professional help can provide you with the necessary tools to combat self-sabotage and stick to your alcohol reduction plan.
  • Use visualization techniques. Visualization can be a powerful tool. Picture yourself successfully resisting a drink or waking up the next morning hangover-free and feeling great. These positive images can reinforce your motivation.
  • Reward yourself. Positive reinforcement can motivate you to stay on track. Celebrate your milestones, no matter how small they might seem.

Embracing the Journey

By understanding the science behind self-sabotage and employing practical steps to manage it, we can change our relationship with this pesky mental roommate. By integrating these steps into your journey, you can build a robust, comprehensive approach to managing self-sabotage while successfully reducing alcohol consumption. With some introspection and a dash of self-compassion, we might even come to appreciate the insight that self-sabotage can offer.

With every challenge you face, you're not just moving closer to your destination, you're also gaining strength, resilience, and a deeper understanding of yourself. So buckle up, keep an eye on the horizon, and embrace the journey with all its unique challenges and rewards.

Alcohol and Mental Health
2023-07-10 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
11 Mindfulness Exercises and Activities for Adults
This is some text inside of a div block.

Cultivate mindfulness and curb your alcohol use. Explore our 11 effective exercises for a more present, peaceful life.

11 min read

Tap Into Tranquility With Reframe

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Read Full Article  →

Quitting alcohol or cutting back can feel like we're on a boat in the middle of a turbulent sea, with the tempting bottle of alcohol appearing to be a life vest, promising instant calm. But in reality, alcohol’s an anchor that pulls us deeper into dependence and distress. Instead of reaching for this deceptive “life vest,” imagine if we had a genuine tool to calm the storm within us. That life vest is mindfulness — a beacon of light guiding us towards genuine calm and tranquility. Let’s take a look at some easy mindfulness activities we can do by ourselves, as well as explore fun mindfulness activities for groups. Ready to dig deeper into mindfulness for adults?

Mindfulness: The Basics

Mindfulness, a practice rooted in ancient Buddhist philosophy, has now found its place in modern psychological practices, thanks to its proven benefits. By promoting self-awareness and acceptance, mindfulness helps us recognize our triggers for drinking and lets us respond to them consciously rather than impulsively. Even more impressive, it’s shown to effectively reduce cravings, stress, anxiety, and even symptoms of depression associated with alcohol misuse.

Let's explore 11 easy mindfulness activities.

1. Walking Meditation

Walking meditation provides an opportunity to combine physical activity with mental tranquility. The focus isn't on the destination, but on each step we take. We feel the sensation of our feet touching the ground, the rhythm of our breath, and the movement of our body. Such an attentive stance towards the simple act of walking can significantly improve our mindfulness, keeping our mind anchored in the present moment. To practice walking meditation, block out 20-30 minutes each day to savor the outdoors. Turn off your phone and simply allow yourself to be in the here and now.

2. Single-Tasking

Multi-tasking has become an emblem of productivity, but it often leads to scatter-brained, anxious states. In contrast, single-tasking requires focusing on one activity at a time, helping us stay present and drastically improving the quality of our work. Try focusing on one task and finishing it before moving on to the next. Over time, notice how this single-tasking improves your productivity and also allows you to be more present in other areas of your life.

3. Mindful Driving

Driving often turns into a mechanical, mind-wandering exercise. But it can be transformed into a mindfulness practice by focusing on the feeling of the steering wheel in our hands, the rhythm of the car's engine, and the passing scenery. This promotes calmness and decreases the risk of stress-induced road rage or accidents.

4. Mindful Eating

Most of us tend to wolf down meals at our desk or in between errands. Instead of mindlessly munching in front of a screen or on the go, we can practice mindful eating. This involves paying full attention to the food, noticing its color, texture, aroma, and taste. This not only enhances our eating experience; it also aids in digestion and prevents overeating. To take this exercise a step further, we can even take a moment to appreciate where the food came from — reflecting on where it was grown and its journey from the fields to our plate.

5. Coloring or Making Artwork

Art can be therapeutic, especially when done mindfully. While coloring or crafting artwork, we observe each stroke and color choice, immersing ourselves fully in the creative process. This acts as an excellent exercise in focus and presence. Buy an adult coloring book or a paint-by-number kit if you’re new to artsy pursuits and want some guidance. These simple activities can give our minds a much-needed reset and bring us back to the present moment.

6. DIY Crafts

DIY crafts require focus and creativity. Whether we’re knitting, creating pottery, or woodworking, crafts demand our complete engagement, leading to an enhanced state of flow and mindfulness. Sign up for a local class or watch YouTube videos to sharpen your skills, and make the most of the DIY crafting experience.

7. Laughter Yoga

Looking for fun mindfulness activities for groups? Laughter yoga is a unique mindfulness exercise that involves voluntary laughter and deep yogic breathing. This blend of fun and mindfulness promotes joy, reduces stress, and helps us stay rooted in the present. A simple Google search can lead you to laughter yoga videos so that you can truly savor this practice and experience all the benefits it has to offer. And while you can do it by yourself, laughter is even better when it’s shared with others!

8. Diaphragmatic Breathing

Also known as belly breathing, diaphragmatic breathing encourages full oxygen exchange, which slows down the heartbeat and can lower or stabilize blood pressure, inducing a relaxation response. To try this practice, place one hand on your abdomen and one over your heart. Breathe in slowly through your nose as you feel your ribcage expand, hold your breath for two seconds, and then exhale gently through your mouth. Repeat this cycle for five minutes or until you feel a wave of relaxation wash over you.

9. Loving-Kindness Meditation

This form of meditation involves silently repeating phrases of love and kindness towards oneself and others. It's a potent tool for fostering self-compassion, acceptance, and mindfulness of our emotional state. To practice it, check out the guide here. You can also try out the loving-kindness meditation on the Reframe app!

10. Sound Healing

Sound healing involves focusing on different soothing sounds, such as gongs, singing bowls, or nature sounds. Concentrating on these sounds helps us stay in the present, fostering a deep sense of relaxation and mindfulness. A simple playlist on YouTube or Spotify can be a great way to tap into the powers of sound healing.

11. 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise

This sensory awareness exercise helps ground us in the present moment. It involves identifying five things we can see, four we can touch, three we can hear, two we can smell, and one we can taste. It serves as an excellent way to interrupt anxiety or stress spirals, redirecting our attention to the here and now.

Mindfulness: A Final Word

It's worth noting that mindfulness for adults is not about reaching a state of perpetual happiness or suppressing negative feelings. It's about fully experiencing every moment — pleasant or unpleasant — with openness and curiosity. It encourages us to approach life as it is, instead of as we think it should be. Whether we're trying to quit or cut back on alcohol, or simply wish to cultivate a deeper sense of peace and equanimity, these mindfulness exercises offer a practical, accessible way to calm our inner storm. As we continue this practice, we'll likely find ourselves navigating life's waves with increased grace and resilience, fostering a deeper sense of peace and contentment in the process.

Quitting alcohol or cutting back can feel like we're on a boat in the middle of a turbulent sea, with the tempting bottle of alcohol appearing to be a life vest, promising instant calm. But in reality, alcohol’s an anchor that pulls us deeper into dependence and distress. Instead of reaching for this deceptive “life vest,” imagine if we had a genuine tool to calm the storm within us. That life vest is mindfulness — a beacon of light guiding us towards genuine calm and tranquility. Let’s take a look at some easy mindfulness activities we can do by ourselves, as well as explore fun mindfulness activities for groups. Ready to dig deeper into mindfulness for adults?

Mindfulness: The Basics

Mindfulness, a practice rooted in ancient Buddhist philosophy, has now found its place in modern psychological practices, thanks to its proven benefits. By promoting self-awareness and acceptance, mindfulness helps us recognize our triggers for drinking and lets us respond to them consciously rather than impulsively. Even more impressive, it’s shown to effectively reduce cravings, stress, anxiety, and even symptoms of depression associated with alcohol misuse.

Let's explore 11 easy mindfulness activities.

1. Walking Meditation

Walking meditation provides an opportunity to combine physical activity with mental tranquility. The focus isn't on the destination, but on each step we take. We feel the sensation of our feet touching the ground, the rhythm of our breath, and the movement of our body. Such an attentive stance towards the simple act of walking can significantly improve our mindfulness, keeping our mind anchored in the present moment. To practice walking meditation, block out 20-30 minutes each day to savor the outdoors. Turn off your phone and simply allow yourself to be in the here and now.

2. Single-Tasking

Multi-tasking has become an emblem of productivity, but it often leads to scatter-brained, anxious states. In contrast, single-tasking requires focusing on one activity at a time, helping us stay present and drastically improving the quality of our work. Try focusing on one task and finishing it before moving on to the next. Over time, notice how this single-tasking improves your productivity and also allows you to be more present in other areas of your life.

3. Mindful Driving

Driving often turns into a mechanical, mind-wandering exercise. But it can be transformed into a mindfulness practice by focusing on the feeling of the steering wheel in our hands, the rhythm of the car's engine, and the passing scenery. This promotes calmness and decreases the risk of stress-induced road rage or accidents.

4. Mindful Eating

Most of us tend to wolf down meals at our desk or in between errands. Instead of mindlessly munching in front of a screen or on the go, we can practice mindful eating. This involves paying full attention to the food, noticing its color, texture, aroma, and taste. This not only enhances our eating experience; it also aids in digestion and prevents overeating. To take this exercise a step further, we can even take a moment to appreciate where the food came from — reflecting on where it was grown and its journey from the fields to our plate.

5. Coloring or Making Artwork

Art can be therapeutic, especially when done mindfully. While coloring or crafting artwork, we observe each stroke and color choice, immersing ourselves fully in the creative process. This acts as an excellent exercise in focus and presence. Buy an adult coloring book or a paint-by-number kit if you’re new to artsy pursuits and want some guidance. These simple activities can give our minds a much-needed reset and bring us back to the present moment.

6. DIY Crafts

DIY crafts require focus and creativity. Whether we’re knitting, creating pottery, or woodworking, crafts demand our complete engagement, leading to an enhanced state of flow and mindfulness. Sign up for a local class or watch YouTube videos to sharpen your skills, and make the most of the DIY crafting experience.

7. Laughter Yoga

Looking for fun mindfulness activities for groups? Laughter yoga is a unique mindfulness exercise that involves voluntary laughter and deep yogic breathing. This blend of fun and mindfulness promotes joy, reduces stress, and helps us stay rooted in the present. A simple Google search can lead you to laughter yoga videos so that you can truly savor this practice and experience all the benefits it has to offer. And while you can do it by yourself, laughter is even better when it’s shared with others!

8. Diaphragmatic Breathing

Also known as belly breathing, diaphragmatic breathing encourages full oxygen exchange, which slows down the heartbeat and can lower or stabilize blood pressure, inducing a relaxation response. To try this practice, place one hand on your abdomen and one over your heart. Breathe in slowly through your nose as you feel your ribcage expand, hold your breath for two seconds, and then exhale gently through your mouth. Repeat this cycle for five minutes or until you feel a wave of relaxation wash over you.

9. Loving-Kindness Meditation

This form of meditation involves silently repeating phrases of love and kindness towards oneself and others. It's a potent tool for fostering self-compassion, acceptance, and mindfulness of our emotional state. To practice it, check out the guide here. You can also try out the loving-kindness meditation on the Reframe app!

10. Sound Healing

Sound healing involves focusing on different soothing sounds, such as gongs, singing bowls, or nature sounds. Concentrating on these sounds helps us stay in the present, fostering a deep sense of relaxation and mindfulness. A simple playlist on YouTube or Spotify can be a great way to tap into the powers of sound healing.

11. 5-4-3-2-1 Exercise

This sensory awareness exercise helps ground us in the present moment. It involves identifying five things we can see, four we can touch, three we can hear, two we can smell, and one we can taste. It serves as an excellent way to interrupt anxiety or stress spirals, redirecting our attention to the here and now.

Mindfulness: A Final Word

It's worth noting that mindfulness for adults is not about reaching a state of perpetual happiness or suppressing negative feelings. It's about fully experiencing every moment — pleasant or unpleasant — with openness and curiosity. It encourages us to approach life as it is, instead of as we think it should be. Whether we're trying to quit or cut back on alcohol, or simply wish to cultivate a deeper sense of peace and equanimity, these mindfulness exercises offer a practical, accessible way to calm our inner storm. As we continue this practice, we'll likely find ourselves navigating life's waves with increased grace and resilience, fostering a deeper sense of peace and contentment in the process.

Alcohol and Mental Health
2023-07-10 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
Stages of Trauma Bonding
This is some text inside of a div block.

Ever wondered why some friendships seem more like emotional roller coasters than joyrides? Dive into our latest blog as we unravel the mysteries of trauma bonding.

10 min read

Start Your Journey With Reframe!

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Read Full Article  →

You're on a road trip with your friends. Everyone's singing along to the same cheesy pop song on the radio, trail mix is being passed around, and there's a general sense of camaraderie and shared adventure. Every bump in the road or unexpected detour adds to the fun. This is what positive bonding looks like: creating connections through shared experiences and emotions.

Trauma bonding is more like getting stuck in a never-ending traffic jam with a hijacker who stole your car and won’t let you out. Like it or not, you’re stuck together on this crazy ride — and somehow, the experience brings you and your hijacker closer together, to the point that you decide to pull off at the next exit and grab a coffee together. The “relationship” is unhealthy, to say the least.

The Traffic Jam of Emotions

Think of trauma bonding as being stuck in a perpetual trap of emotional turmoil. It’s a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and their abuser, characterized by a continuous cycle of mistreatment and reconciliation.

Why would someone stay in the car? The answer lies in the complex interplay of fear, dependence, and intermittent kindness from the abuser, which slowly gets the abused person attached. There’s often a common goal that creates the illusion of closeness. There’s something at stake for both of you — and while it might not be the same thing, you are tangled up in the same mess.

The Unfolding Stages of Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonding isn't a one-step process. It unfolds over time through the seven stages of trauma bonding:

  • The “love bombing” stage. Initially, the relationship might seem ideal. There is affection, appreciation, and you feel valued.
  • The “trust and dependency” stage. Slowly, hurtful incidents occur. They can be small, easily excusable at first, but increase in frequency and intensity over time. At the same time, your dependency on your partner grows as they try to maintain your trust in them.
  • The “criticism” stage. As the abuse and criticism continues, you start feeling anxious, constantly worrying about their reactions and mood swings.
  • The “gaslighting” stage. To cope with the cognitive dissonance of experiencing abuse from a loved one who is acting as if it’s not happening, you may start rationalizing their behavior or blaming yourself.
  • The “emotional addiction” stage. The relationship becomes a cycle of abuse followed by periods of kindness, which reinforces the bond.
  • The “loss of self” stage. The person might manipulate you to sever ties with others, making you more dependent on them.
  • The “resignation and submission” stage. This is the point where the bond is so strong that the victim might fully accept the abusive behavior as a norm.
Stages of Trauma Bonding

Trauma Bonding and Alcohol

Alcohol relates to trauma bonding in a couple of different ways. Here’s how it might factor into the seven stages of trauma bonding:

  • During the love bombing stage, the abusive partner might encourage our alcohol use to make us more susceptible to manipulation.
  • The trust and dependency stage, alcohol use might be encouraged even more as we become more dependent on our partner.
  • As the criticism stage brings on intense emotions, we might use alcohol to cope.
  • During the gaslighting stage, drinking might seem like a quick escape — a tiny vacation from the harsh reality. This can actually tighten the grip of the trauma bond.
  • As the emotional addiction stage takes hold, our alcohol use might escalate.
  • During the loss of self stage, we might experience profound hopelessness and become more dependent on alcohol.
  • The resignation and submission stage might deepen our alcohol dependence, making us feel trapped and unable to escape.

When it becomes part of the picture, alcohol tends to make unhealthy attachments even worse. However, it’s just a band-aid — there’s no way alcohol can repair the relationship. In fact, instead of healing the wound, it makes it worse.

And here's the tricky part: alcohol can cloud our judgment. This makes it harder for people to realize they're stuck in a trauma bond, and it becomes even tougher to break free.

The relationship with alcohol itself can become a bit like a trauma bond as well. Think about it — when we rely on alcohol to relax, socialize, or get a break from our own mind, we are forming an attachment to it. Yet, time and again it falls short of our expectations. The temporary relief makes way for longer hangovers, our relationships suffer, and we wake up the next day with more anxious thoughts than before. Yet we keep coming back, pulled by the invisible but powerful strings of the unhealthy attachment we have innocently programmed into our brain.

Break Free From Trauma Bonding

Now that we've learned the stages, let's look at specific steps you can take to break free from trauma bonding.

  • Knowledge is power. Understand what trauma bonding is, its stages, and effects. By recognizing it, you can start your journey towards healing.
  • Establish boundaries. Learn to set emotional and physical boundaries to protect your wellbeing.
  • Lean on your support network. Friends, family, or support groups can provide emotional assistance and validation.
  • Mindfulness and self-care. Regular self-care activities — such as exercise, meditation, or journaling — can help you stay grounded and manage stress.
  • Education and skills. Learn about healthy relationships, communication, and conflict resolution skills to set a positive pattern for future relationships.
  • Patience with the process. Healing from trauma bonding takes time, so be gentle and patient with yourself during this process.

And, if you're trying to untangle yourself from a trauma bond — especially one in which alcohol has played a part — don't hesitate to ask for help. There's no shame in reaching out to professionals or joining support groups. You don't have to deal with this alone!

You're on a road trip with your friends. Everyone's singing along to the same cheesy pop song on the radio, trail mix is being passed around, and there's a general sense of camaraderie and shared adventure. Every bump in the road or unexpected detour adds to the fun. This is what positive bonding looks like: creating connections through shared experiences and emotions.

Trauma bonding is more like getting stuck in a never-ending traffic jam with a hijacker who stole your car and won’t let you out. Like it or not, you’re stuck together on this crazy ride — and somehow, the experience brings you and your hijacker closer together, to the point that you decide to pull off at the next exit and grab a coffee together. The “relationship” is unhealthy, to say the least.

The Traffic Jam of Emotions

Think of trauma bonding as being stuck in a perpetual trap of emotional turmoil. It’s a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and their abuser, characterized by a continuous cycle of mistreatment and reconciliation.

Why would someone stay in the car? The answer lies in the complex interplay of fear, dependence, and intermittent kindness from the abuser, which slowly gets the abused person attached. There’s often a common goal that creates the illusion of closeness. There’s something at stake for both of you — and while it might not be the same thing, you are tangled up in the same mess.

The Unfolding Stages of Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonding isn't a one-step process. It unfolds over time through the seven stages of trauma bonding:

  • The “love bombing” stage. Initially, the relationship might seem ideal. There is affection, appreciation, and you feel valued.
  • The “trust and dependency” stage. Slowly, hurtful incidents occur. They can be small, easily excusable at first, but increase in frequency and intensity over time. At the same time, your dependency on your partner grows as they try to maintain your trust in them.
  • The “criticism” stage. As the abuse and criticism continues, you start feeling anxious, constantly worrying about their reactions and mood swings.
  • The “gaslighting” stage. To cope with the cognitive dissonance of experiencing abuse from a loved one who is acting as if it’s not happening, you may start rationalizing their behavior or blaming yourself.
  • The “emotional addiction” stage. The relationship becomes a cycle of abuse followed by periods of kindness, which reinforces the bond.
  • The “loss of self” stage. The person might manipulate you to sever ties with others, making you more dependent on them.
  • The “resignation and submission” stage. This is the point where the bond is so strong that the victim might fully accept the abusive behavior as a norm.
Stages of Trauma Bonding

Trauma Bonding and Alcohol

Alcohol relates to trauma bonding in a couple of different ways. Here’s how it might factor into the seven stages of trauma bonding:

  • During the love bombing stage, the abusive partner might encourage our alcohol use to make us more susceptible to manipulation.
  • The trust and dependency stage, alcohol use might be encouraged even more as we become more dependent on our partner.
  • As the criticism stage brings on intense emotions, we might use alcohol to cope.
  • During the gaslighting stage, drinking might seem like a quick escape — a tiny vacation from the harsh reality. This can actually tighten the grip of the trauma bond.
  • As the emotional addiction stage takes hold, our alcohol use might escalate.
  • During the loss of self stage, we might experience profound hopelessness and become more dependent on alcohol.
  • The resignation and submission stage might deepen our alcohol dependence, making us feel trapped and unable to escape.

When it becomes part of the picture, alcohol tends to make unhealthy attachments even worse. However, it’s just a band-aid — there’s no way alcohol can repair the relationship. In fact, instead of healing the wound, it makes it worse.

And here's the tricky part: alcohol can cloud our judgment. This makes it harder for people to realize they're stuck in a trauma bond, and it becomes even tougher to break free.

The relationship with alcohol itself can become a bit like a trauma bond as well. Think about it — when we rely on alcohol to relax, socialize, or get a break from our own mind, we are forming an attachment to it. Yet, time and again it falls short of our expectations. The temporary relief makes way for longer hangovers, our relationships suffer, and we wake up the next day with more anxious thoughts than before. Yet we keep coming back, pulled by the invisible but powerful strings of the unhealthy attachment we have innocently programmed into our brain.

Break Free From Trauma Bonding

Now that we've learned the stages, let's look at specific steps you can take to break free from trauma bonding.

  • Knowledge is power. Understand what trauma bonding is, its stages, and effects. By recognizing it, you can start your journey towards healing.
  • Establish boundaries. Learn to set emotional and physical boundaries to protect your wellbeing.
  • Lean on your support network. Friends, family, or support groups can provide emotional assistance and validation.
  • Mindfulness and self-care. Regular self-care activities — such as exercise, meditation, or journaling — can help you stay grounded and manage stress.
  • Education and skills. Learn about healthy relationships, communication, and conflict resolution skills to set a positive pattern for future relationships.
  • Patience with the process. Healing from trauma bonding takes time, so be gentle and patient with yourself during this process.

And, if you're trying to untangle yourself from a trauma bond — especially one in which alcohol has played a part — don't hesitate to ask for help. There's no shame in reaching out to professionals or joining support groups. You don't have to deal with this alone!

Alcohol and Mental Health
2023-07-06 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
A Beginner’s Guide to Mindful Eating: Amanda’s Story
This is some text inside of a div block.

This blog narrates Amanda's journey towards mindful eating, a practice that transformed her relationship with food and improved her health. It explains the principles of mindful eating, such as being present, listening to your body, and savoring your food, and offers tips on how to incorporate it into daily life.

25 min read

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You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol. 

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Read Full Article  →

Amanda led a hectic life. As a full-time working mother, her days were filled with a whirlwind of tasks. She was constantly on the move, juggling her professional responsibilities, her children's needs, and the endless list of household chores. In the midst of this chaos, she often found herself eating mechanically, grabbing a quick bite while responding to emails or munching on snacks while driving her kids to their various activities. 

Amanda soon realized that not only was she consuming unhealthy foods, but she was also eating more than her body required. This led to an unwelcome weight gain and a perpetual feeling of lethargy.

One day, while browsing the internet, Amanda came across an article on mindful eating. The concept intrigued her, and she decided to give it a try. This marked the beginning of her journey into the world of mindful eating, a practice that would eventually transform her relationship with food and significantly improve her overall health.

What Is Mindful Eating?

Mindful eating, an approach steeped in Buddhist teachings, is more than just a modern-day dietary fad; it's a transformative journey towards a heightened state of self-awareness and nutritional consciousness. At its core, mindful eating underscores the significance of immersing ourselves completely in the act of eating, turning it into a deliberate and attentive ritual.

Every time we eat, it presents an opportunity to connect with our food — its texture, flavor, aroma, and even its history. Mindful eating compels us to slow down and savor every bite. Instead of wolfing down a meal in front of the television or on-the-go, it encourages us to sit down, eliminate distractions, and focus solely on the plate in front of us. This practice involves observing the colors of the food, inhaling its aroma, chewing it slowly, and savoring it in its entirety. By doing so, we not only enhance our enjoyment of the meal but also forge a deeper understanding of what we put into our bodies.

Modern life, with its myriad distractions, often causes us to become detached from our bodies. We tend to eat when we're bored, stressed, or distracted, rather than when we're genuinely hungry. Mindful eating aims to undo this disconnect by urging us to attune to our body's natural signals. By truly listening, we can discern the subtle difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger. Moreover, it promotes recognition of satiety cues, preventing overeating. Instead of adhering to external diet rules, the practice empowers us to trust our body's innate wisdom.

Mindfulness, the foundation upon which mindful eating is built, is about heightened awareness. When applied to eating, it naturally leads to healthier food choices. When we eat mindfully, we are more likely to gravitate towards foods that are nourishing and beneficial for our bodies. The process encourages questioning the source of the food, its nutritional value, and how it will impact our well-being. Such contemplative eating often results in a preference for whole, unprocessed foods over junk or processed options.

Finally, food is not merely fuel. It's a source of pleasure, a means of connection, and a celebration of life's bounty. Mindful eating revives the joy of truly experiencing food. By immersing ourselves in the act, we transform eating from a mundane activity into a moment of gratitude and appreciation. It offers a momentary retreat from the hustle and bustle, creating a sanctuary where one can find solace in the simple act of eating.

How To Get Started With Mindful Eating

Taking Small Steps

Mindful eating, as a concept, might seem overwhelming to many. There's an inherent challenge in breaking free from years, if not decades, of entrenched habits. Recognizing this, Amanda decided to adopt a strategy of incremental change. Instead of overhauling her entire eating routine, she chose to start with the most neglected meal of her day: breakfast.

This approach, taking small steps, offered multiple advantages. First, it was less daunting. Committing to one meal a day felt achievable and less overwhelming than attempting to change every eating habit overnight. Also, by focusing her attention on a single meal, Amanda could truly immerse herself in the experience, refining her techniques and deepening her understanding of the practice.

As days turned into weeks, breakfast transformed from a rushed obligation to a cherished ritual for Amanda. She began experimenting with a variety of foods, discovering a newfound appreciation for flavors she had previously overlooked. The crunch of toasted bread, the subtle sweetness of fresh berries, the velvety texture of yogurt — every bite became a chance to savor the sensations of eating.

By dedicating time solely for her morning meal, Amanda also became more attuned to her body's signals. She noticed that certain foods made her feel energized, while others left her sluggish. This heightened awareness enabled her to make more informed food choices, gravitating towards nourishing options that set a positive tone for the rest of the day.

Amanda's small step towards mindful eating during breakfast soon began to have a cascading effect on the rest of her day. The act of starting her mornings with intention and presence spilled over into other areas of her life. She became more attentive in her interactions, more patient in her responses, and more appreciative of the little moments.

Emboldened by the positive changes she was witnessing, Amanda gradually incorporated mindful eating into her lunches and dinners. The practice, which had begun as an experiment, became an integral part of her daily routine

Listening to Our Body

Many of us have become disengaged from our bodies, turning to external cues like meal timings or societal norms to dictate our eating habits. For Amanda, this was no different. Eating had often been a reactive act — a response to a clock's ticking hands or the lure of workplace snacks. However, her venture into mindful eating unearthed a desire for deeper connection — not just with the food on her plate but with her body's innate wisdom.

The first transformative step Amanda took was to cultivate a habit of self-questioning. Before each meal or snack, she paused and tuned into her body. This simple act, a momentary check-in, became her touchstone.

"Am I really hungry?" she would ask herself. Sometimes the answer was an evident growl or an empty feeling, signaling genuine physiological hunger. At other times, she realized she was seeking food for reasons other than hunger — perhaps as a temporary balm for stress or a distraction from boredom.

Emotional eating had always been a subtle undercurrent in Amanda's life, though she hadn't always recognized it as such. By consistently checking in with herself, she began to discern patterns. She noticed that she gravitated towards sugary snacks when she was anxious or overwhelmed with work. Conversely, periods of boredom often led her to indulge in crunchy, salty foods.

By identifying these patterns, Amanda was better equipped to address the root causes of her cravings. Instead of turning to food as a default coping mechanism, she explored other avenues to manage her emotions. On stressful days, she found solace in short meditation sessions or brisk walks around her neighborhood. When boredom struck, she delved into hobbies or connected with friends.

The more Amanda practiced this introspection, the more she became attuned to her body's natural signals. She started to recognize the initial pangs of hunger, distinguishing them from the mere desire to eat. Simultaneously, she grew more sensitive to signs of fullness, learning to stop eating when she felt comfortably satiated rather than stuffed.

This shift had profound implications. No longer did she find herself overindulging at meals or regretting compulsive snacking. Instead, she consumed just enough to nourish her body, leading to a more balanced relationship with food.

Eating Slowly

Historically, meals were community events, moments of bonding, and times of gratitude. They weren't simply about sustenance but about connection, both with others and with the food itself. However, as the world sped up, so did meal times. Amanda, like many others, had fallen into the rhythm of rushed eating — gobbling up meals without truly tasting them.

Her introduction to the concept that it takes roughly 20 minutes for the brain to recognize satiety became a turning point. With this knowledge in hand, she sought to reframe her dining experience.

Intentionally, Amanda began to stretch her meals, savoring each bite. She employed various techniques to prolong her eating. Placing her utensils down between bites, thoroughly chewing her food, and taking moments to appreciate its textures, flavors, and aromas all became essential parts of her meals.

She also cultivated a dining atmosphere conducive to unhurried eating. Turning off the TV, putting away her phone, and occasionally dining by candlelight transformed her meals from mere nutritional necessities to cherished rituals.

Eating slowly didn't just aid Amanda in recognizing when she was full; it offered a plethora of additional benefits. She found improved digestion as her body had ample time to process the food. This is because thoroughly chewing her food facilitated the release of digestive enzymes, further aiding the process.

Beyond the physical advantages, Amanda discovered psychological and emotional benefits. Meals became a time of relaxation, a break from the frenetic pace of her daily life. The act of eating slowly, being present in the moment, was meditative. It allowed her a period of introspection, grounding, and genuine connection with the act of nourishment.

Minimizing Distractions

Like many in the modern era, Amanda hadn’t realized the extent to which digital devices had hijacked her attention, especially during meals. The act of eating became mechanical, a task to be completed, rather than an experience to be savored. This mindless consumption led to overeating and a disconnection from the body's cues of hunger and fullness.

Determined to regain the joy and mindfulness in her meals, Amanda made the decision to unplug. The television was turned off, the phone placed in another room, and suddenly the sounds of dining became audible: the clink of cutlery, the chew of food, the pour of a drink.

In this newfound silence, Amanda began to truly see her food. She appreciated its colors, textures, and fragrances. Each bite became an event, a moment of connection to the ingredients and the culinary craft.

Without the digital distractions, Amanda became acutely aware of her portion sizes. Previously, she'd often finished large plates of food without truly noticing or enjoying them. Now, she took the time to serve herself thoughtfully, recognizing when she had had enough.

Amanda's mental well-being also flourished. Meals became a break, a time of genuine relaxation away from the digital chaos. She found herself feeling more grounded, more in tune with the present moment.

Amanda's decision to eat without distractions influenced other aspects of her life. She began to set aside dedicated times for screen-free activities, finding joy in activities such as reading, nature walks, and painting. Her relationships deepened as conversations during meals became richer, more focused, and genuinely engaging.

Appreciating Food

For Amanda, her transition into mindful eating was not just about the act of eating itself, but also about understanding and appreciating the broader context surrounding her food. The journey from farm to plate is often a long and intricate one, and by recognizing this, Amanda found a deeper connection and gratitude towards her meals.

Each grain of rice, every slice of fruit, and every leaf of greens on Amanda's plate told a story. Behind these foods were farmers — men and women who woke up at the break of dawn, tilled the earth, battled unpredictable weather patterns, and nurtured crops with dedication and care. By acknowledging their efforts, Amanda recognized that her meals were not just about sustenance but were also a culmination of hard work and resilience.

Beyond the farm, there's an art to turning raw ingredients into delightful dishes. Every time Amanda sat down to a meal, whether home-cooked or from a restaurant, she took a moment to think about the chefs and cooks involved. The precision in a julienne cut, the delicate balance of flavors in a sauce, or the perfect sear on a piece of meat — these are all testaments to the skills and passion of those in the kitchen. By appreciating their craftsmanship, Amanda added another layer to her mindful eating experience.

It wasn't just the farmers and chefs that Amanda thought of. She considered the truck drivers who transported her food, the grocery store clerks who stocked the shelves, and even the bees that pollinated the plants. She realized that her simple act of eating was supported by an intricate web of individuals and natural processes.

This practice of reflection instilled in Amanda a profound sense of gratitude. No longer were meals just about quelling hunger; they became moments of genuine thankfulness. By appreciating the efforts that went into her food, Amanda not only felt more connected to her meals but also recognized her privileged position in being able to access and enjoy such diverse foods.

Amanda's heightened appreciation extended beyond her meals. She became more conscious of reducing food waste, understanding that wasting food was also disregarding the hard work of countless individuals. She also became more inclined to support local farmers and artisans, knowing the direct impact of her choices.

Savor the Journey

Quick fixes and instantaneous solutions have become the sought-after norm. Be it diet fads or extreme workout regimes, people often search for immediate results. However, Amanda's exploration into mindful eating was a departure from this hurried approach. It was not an overnight solution, but rather a continuous journey that reshaped her relationship with food and herself.

At the onset, Amanda had to grapple with her own impatience. Accustomed to the world of rapid results, the initial phases of mindful eating were challenging. There weren't any dramatic health changes or instant boosts in vitality. Instead, she learned to tune into her body, understanding its cues and responding with care. This required time, patience, and unwavering commitment.

Though the transformation was gradual, Amanda began noticing subtle shifts in her behavior. Where she once mindlessly snacked, she now paused, assessing her hunger and making deliberate choices. The aisles of processed snacks in supermarkets, once tempting, lost some of their allure as she became more conscious of what she fed her body.

One significant realization for Amanda was that eating less didn't equate to depriving herself. Instead, by choosing quality ingredients and savoring each bite, she found greater satisfaction in smaller portions. This not only led to a reduction in her overall food intake but also heightened her enjoyment during meals.

Mindful eating wasn’t just a physical transformation for Amanda; it had profound mental and emotional implications as well. As she became more attuned to her body's needs, she also started recognizing the effect of food on her mood. Meals that were once sources of comfort or mechanisms to deal with stress took on a new meaning. She identified foods that genuinely uplifted her mood and energized her, differentiating them from those that offered momentary pleasure but left her feeling sluggish or irritable afterward.

Over time, the compounded effect of these small changes was monumental. Amanda started experiencing increased energy levels, which in turn influenced her productivity and enthusiasm for life. Her mood became more stable, with fewer fluctuations. The aches and discomforts, once dismissed as part and parcel of daily life, diminished. And while physical appearance was never her primary goal, she found herself in better shape, a testament to the power of mindful eating.

How Can Mindful Eating Benefit You?

Mindful eating is a powerful practice that can transform your relationship with food. It's not about dieting or restricting certain foods. It's about being present, listening to your body, and enjoying your food.

If you're like Amanda, always on the go and eating on autopilot, consider giving mindful eating a try. Start with small steps, like choosing one meal a day to eat mindfully. Listen to your body's hunger and fullness cues, eat slowly, savor your food, minimize distractions, and appreciate your food. You’ll be amazed at how much more you enjoy each bite and cherish meals. 

Remember, mindful eating is a journey, not a destination. Don't worry if you find it challenging at first. With practice, it can become a natural part of your daily life. So, next time you sit down for a meal, put away your phone, take a deep breath, and truly enjoy the experience. Your body and mind will thank you!

Amanda led a hectic life. As a full-time working mother, her days were filled with a whirlwind of tasks. She was constantly on the move, juggling her professional responsibilities, her children's needs, and the endless list of household chores. In the midst of this chaos, she often found herself eating mechanically, grabbing a quick bite while responding to emails or munching on snacks while driving her kids to their various activities. 

Amanda soon realized that not only was she consuming unhealthy foods, but she was also eating more than her body required. This led to an unwelcome weight gain and a perpetual feeling of lethargy.

One day, while browsing the internet, Amanda came across an article on mindful eating. The concept intrigued her, and she decided to give it a try. This marked the beginning of her journey into the world of mindful eating, a practice that would eventually transform her relationship with food and significantly improve her overall health.

What Is Mindful Eating?

Mindful eating, an approach steeped in Buddhist teachings, is more than just a modern-day dietary fad; it's a transformative journey towards a heightened state of self-awareness and nutritional consciousness. At its core, mindful eating underscores the significance of immersing ourselves completely in the act of eating, turning it into a deliberate and attentive ritual.

Every time we eat, it presents an opportunity to connect with our food — its texture, flavor, aroma, and even its history. Mindful eating compels us to slow down and savor every bite. Instead of wolfing down a meal in front of the television or on-the-go, it encourages us to sit down, eliminate distractions, and focus solely on the plate in front of us. This practice involves observing the colors of the food, inhaling its aroma, chewing it slowly, and savoring it in its entirety. By doing so, we not only enhance our enjoyment of the meal but also forge a deeper understanding of what we put into our bodies.

Modern life, with its myriad distractions, often causes us to become detached from our bodies. We tend to eat when we're bored, stressed, or distracted, rather than when we're genuinely hungry. Mindful eating aims to undo this disconnect by urging us to attune to our body's natural signals. By truly listening, we can discern the subtle difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger. Moreover, it promotes recognition of satiety cues, preventing overeating. Instead of adhering to external diet rules, the practice empowers us to trust our body's innate wisdom.

Mindfulness, the foundation upon which mindful eating is built, is about heightened awareness. When applied to eating, it naturally leads to healthier food choices. When we eat mindfully, we are more likely to gravitate towards foods that are nourishing and beneficial for our bodies. The process encourages questioning the source of the food, its nutritional value, and how it will impact our well-being. Such contemplative eating often results in a preference for whole, unprocessed foods over junk or processed options.

Finally, food is not merely fuel. It's a source of pleasure, a means of connection, and a celebration of life's bounty. Mindful eating revives the joy of truly experiencing food. By immersing ourselves in the act, we transform eating from a mundane activity into a moment of gratitude and appreciation. It offers a momentary retreat from the hustle and bustle, creating a sanctuary where one can find solace in the simple act of eating.

How To Get Started With Mindful Eating

Taking Small Steps

Mindful eating, as a concept, might seem overwhelming to many. There's an inherent challenge in breaking free from years, if not decades, of entrenched habits. Recognizing this, Amanda decided to adopt a strategy of incremental change. Instead of overhauling her entire eating routine, she chose to start with the most neglected meal of her day: breakfast.

This approach, taking small steps, offered multiple advantages. First, it was less daunting. Committing to one meal a day felt achievable and less overwhelming than attempting to change every eating habit overnight. Also, by focusing her attention on a single meal, Amanda could truly immerse herself in the experience, refining her techniques and deepening her understanding of the practice.

As days turned into weeks, breakfast transformed from a rushed obligation to a cherished ritual for Amanda. She began experimenting with a variety of foods, discovering a newfound appreciation for flavors she had previously overlooked. The crunch of toasted bread, the subtle sweetness of fresh berries, the velvety texture of yogurt — every bite became a chance to savor the sensations of eating.

By dedicating time solely for her morning meal, Amanda also became more attuned to her body's signals. She noticed that certain foods made her feel energized, while others left her sluggish. This heightened awareness enabled her to make more informed food choices, gravitating towards nourishing options that set a positive tone for the rest of the day.

Amanda's small step towards mindful eating during breakfast soon began to have a cascading effect on the rest of her day. The act of starting her mornings with intention and presence spilled over into other areas of her life. She became more attentive in her interactions, more patient in her responses, and more appreciative of the little moments.

Emboldened by the positive changes she was witnessing, Amanda gradually incorporated mindful eating into her lunches and dinners. The practice, which had begun as an experiment, became an integral part of her daily routine

Listening to Our Body

Many of us have become disengaged from our bodies, turning to external cues like meal timings or societal norms to dictate our eating habits. For Amanda, this was no different. Eating had often been a reactive act — a response to a clock's ticking hands or the lure of workplace snacks. However, her venture into mindful eating unearthed a desire for deeper connection — not just with the food on her plate but with her body's innate wisdom.

The first transformative step Amanda took was to cultivate a habit of self-questioning. Before each meal or snack, she paused and tuned into her body. This simple act, a momentary check-in, became her touchstone.

"Am I really hungry?" she would ask herself. Sometimes the answer was an evident growl or an empty feeling, signaling genuine physiological hunger. At other times, she realized she was seeking food for reasons other than hunger — perhaps as a temporary balm for stress or a distraction from boredom.

Emotional eating had always been a subtle undercurrent in Amanda's life, though she hadn't always recognized it as such. By consistently checking in with herself, she began to discern patterns. She noticed that she gravitated towards sugary snacks when she was anxious or overwhelmed with work. Conversely, periods of boredom often led her to indulge in crunchy, salty foods.

By identifying these patterns, Amanda was better equipped to address the root causes of her cravings. Instead of turning to food as a default coping mechanism, she explored other avenues to manage her emotions. On stressful days, she found solace in short meditation sessions or brisk walks around her neighborhood. When boredom struck, she delved into hobbies or connected with friends.

The more Amanda practiced this introspection, the more she became attuned to her body's natural signals. She started to recognize the initial pangs of hunger, distinguishing them from the mere desire to eat. Simultaneously, she grew more sensitive to signs of fullness, learning to stop eating when she felt comfortably satiated rather than stuffed.

This shift had profound implications. No longer did she find herself overindulging at meals or regretting compulsive snacking. Instead, she consumed just enough to nourish her body, leading to a more balanced relationship with food.

Eating Slowly

Historically, meals were community events, moments of bonding, and times of gratitude. They weren't simply about sustenance but about connection, both with others and with the food itself. However, as the world sped up, so did meal times. Amanda, like many others, had fallen into the rhythm of rushed eating — gobbling up meals without truly tasting them.

Her introduction to the concept that it takes roughly 20 minutes for the brain to recognize satiety became a turning point. With this knowledge in hand, she sought to reframe her dining experience.

Intentionally, Amanda began to stretch her meals, savoring each bite. She employed various techniques to prolong her eating. Placing her utensils down between bites, thoroughly chewing her food, and taking moments to appreciate its textures, flavors, and aromas all became essential parts of her meals.

She also cultivated a dining atmosphere conducive to unhurried eating. Turning off the TV, putting away her phone, and occasionally dining by candlelight transformed her meals from mere nutritional necessities to cherished rituals.

Eating slowly didn't just aid Amanda in recognizing when she was full; it offered a plethora of additional benefits. She found improved digestion as her body had ample time to process the food. This is because thoroughly chewing her food facilitated the release of digestive enzymes, further aiding the process.

Beyond the physical advantages, Amanda discovered psychological and emotional benefits. Meals became a time of relaxation, a break from the frenetic pace of her daily life. The act of eating slowly, being present in the moment, was meditative. It allowed her a period of introspection, grounding, and genuine connection with the act of nourishment.

Minimizing Distractions

Like many in the modern era, Amanda hadn’t realized the extent to which digital devices had hijacked her attention, especially during meals. The act of eating became mechanical, a task to be completed, rather than an experience to be savored. This mindless consumption led to overeating and a disconnection from the body's cues of hunger and fullness.

Determined to regain the joy and mindfulness in her meals, Amanda made the decision to unplug. The television was turned off, the phone placed in another room, and suddenly the sounds of dining became audible: the clink of cutlery, the chew of food, the pour of a drink.

In this newfound silence, Amanda began to truly see her food. She appreciated its colors, textures, and fragrances. Each bite became an event, a moment of connection to the ingredients and the culinary craft.

Without the digital distractions, Amanda became acutely aware of her portion sizes. Previously, she'd often finished large plates of food without truly noticing or enjoying them. Now, she took the time to serve herself thoughtfully, recognizing when she had had enough.

Amanda's mental well-being also flourished. Meals became a break, a time of genuine relaxation away from the digital chaos. She found herself feeling more grounded, more in tune with the present moment.

Amanda's decision to eat without distractions influenced other aspects of her life. She began to set aside dedicated times for screen-free activities, finding joy in activities such as reading, nature walks, and painting. Her relationships deepened as conversations during meals became richer, more focused, and genuinely engaging.

Appreciating Food

For Amanda, her transition into mindful eating was not just about the act of eating itself, but also about understanding and appreciating the broader context surrounding her food. The journey from farm to plate is often a long and intricate one, and by recognizing this, Amanda found a deeper connection and gratitude towards her meals.

Each grain of rice, every slice of fruit, and every leaf of greens on Amanda's plate told a story. Behind these foods were farmers — men and women who woke up at the break of dawn, tilled the earth, battled unpredictable weather patterns, and nurtured crops with dedication and care. By acknowledging their efforts, Amanda recognized that her meals were not just about sustenance but were also a culmination of hard work and resilience.

Beyond the farm, there's an art to turning raw ingredients into delightful dishes. Every time Amanda sat down to a meal, whether home-cooked or from a restaurant, she took a moment to think about the chefs and cooks involved. The precision in a julienne cut, the delicate balance of flavors in a sauce, or the perfect sear on a piece of meat — these are all testaments to the skills and passion of those in the kitchen. By appreciating their craftsmanship, Amanda added another layer to her mindful eating experience.

It wasn't just the farmers and chefs that Amanda thought of. She considered the truck drivers who transported her food, the grocery store clerks who stocked the shelves, and even the bees that pollinated the plants. She realized that her simple act of eating was supported by an intricate web of individuals and natural processes.

This practice of reflection instilled in Amanda a profound sense of gratitude. No longer were meals just about quelling hunger; they became moments of genuine thankfulness. By appreciating the efforts that went into her food, Amanda not only felt more connected to her meals but also recognized her privileged position in being able to access and enjoy such diverse foods.

Amanda's heightened appreciation extended beyond her meals. She became more conscious of reducing food waste, understanding that wasting food was also disregarding the hard work of countless individuals. She also became more inclined to support local farmers and artisans, knowing the direct impact of her choices.

Savor the Journey

Quick fixes and instantaneous solutions have become the sought-after norm. Be it diet fads or extreme workout regimes, people often search for immediate results. However, Amanda's exploration into mindful eating was a departure from this hurried approach. It was not an overnight solution, but rather a continuous journey that reshaped her relationship with food and herself.

At the onset, Amanda had to grapple with her own impatience. Accustomed to the world of rapid results, the initial phases of mindful eating were challenging. There weren't any dramatic health changes or instant boosts in vitality. Instead, she learned to tune into her body, understanding its cues and responding with care. This required time, patience, and unwavering commitment.

Though the transformation was gradual, Amanda began noticing subtle shifts in her behavior. Where she once mindlessly snacked, she now paused, assessing her hunger and making deliberate choices. The aisles of processed snacks in supermarkets, once tempting, lost some of their allure as she became more conscious of what she fed her body.

One significant realization for Amanda was that eating less didn't equate to depriving herself. Instead, by choosing quality ingredients and savoring each bite, she found greater satisfaction in smaller portions. This not only led to a reduction in her overall food intake but also heightened her enjoyment during meals.

Mindful eating wasn’t just a physical transformation for Amanda; it had profound mental and emotional implications as well. As she became more attuned to her body's needs, she also started recognizing the effect of food on her mood. Meals that were once sources of comfort or mechanisms to deal with stress took on a new meaning. She identified foods that genuinely uplifted her mood and energized her, differentiating them from those that offered momentary pleasure but left her feeling sluggish or irritable afterward.

Over time, the compounded effect of these small changes was monumental. Amanda started experiencing increased energy levels, which in turn influenced her productivity and enthusiasm for life. Her mood became more stable, with fewer fluctuations. The aches and discomforts, once dismissed as part and parcel of daily life, diminished. And while physical appearance was never her primary goal, she found herself in better shape, a testament to the power of mindful eating.

How Can Mindful Eating Benefit You?

Mindful eating is a powerful practice that can transform your relationship with food. It's not about dieting or restricting certain foods. It's about being present, listening to your body, and enjoying your food.

If you're like Amanda, always on the go and eating on autopilot, consider giving mindful eating a try. Start with small steps, like choosing one meal a day to eat mindfully. Listen to your body's hunger and fullness cues, eat slowly, savor your food, minimize distractions, and appreciate your food. You’ll be amazed at how much more you enjoy each bite and cherish meals. 

Remember, mindful eating is a journey, not a destination. Don't worry if you find it challenging at first. With practice, it can become a natural part of your daily life. So, next time you sit down for a meal, put away your phone, take a deep breath, and truly enjoy the experience. Your body and mind will thank you!

Alcohol and Mental Health
2023-07-05 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
Remorse and Regret: Your Emotional GPS
This is some text inside of a div block.

Ever found yourself deep in the maze of regret and remorse? Our latest blog post takes a deep dive into the neuroscience behind these emotions — and how to turn them into personal growth.

9 min read

Thinking of Starting Your Journey With Reframe? You Won’t Regret It!

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Read Full Article  →

It’s just another regular Tuesday. You're having your third coffee of the day, silently judging the guy with socks and sandals at the other side of the café, when you suddenly recall that cringe-worthy moment from five years ago when you were overheard making fun of your roommate’s passion for animal print. Or that time you bought a pair of furry flip flops on impulse and found out you couldn’t return them.

Yikes, right? But here's the question: do you regret it, or do you feel remorse? These two emotions — often mistaken as twin siblings in our psychological family — are actually more like distant cousins. As it turns out, though, both serve a useful purpose.

A Dueling Duo

Both remorse and regret make us feel like the villains in our own story because of something unfortunate that happened in the past — and they nag us with the reminder that we played a role in it. But while both deal with our past decisions, regret and remorse are quite different.

Regret focuses on the decision itself: it's about wishing we'd zigged instead of zagged, chosen another path, or hadn’t let an opportunity slip away. It’s the emotion associated with wishing things had been different — a painful realization that our actions or decisions led to undesirable outcomes.

Remorse, on the other hand, is less about the decision and more about the aftermath. Remorse doesn't just point out our missteps. It makes us feel the emotional implications of our actions, particularly if they've hurt others. It's concerned with our actions’ impact on others and our subsequent feelings of guilt. It includes a desire to fix or make amends for the wrongdoings that caused harm to others. Remorse, friends, is that heavy feeling in your gut after you've made a boo-boo.

Your Brain, Remorse, and Regret

Certain regions — such as the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and the amygdala — work in harmony to generate feelings of regret and remorse.

In the brain, regret is mediated by an area called the orbitofrontal cortex — the same area that lights up when we’re expecting a reward. When we do something we later regret (for example, when we drink too much), the brain is flooded with neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. This cocktail of chemicals triggers feelings of guilt, creating that sensation we've come to know as regret.

On the contrary, remorse involves the amygdala — a small almond-shaped structure associated with emotions and, importantly, empathy. Remorse boosts activity in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, signaling a deeper understanding of our missteps and their impacts on others.

A Mental Barometer

While regret and remorse are unpleasant, they can also be constructive. They’re our brain's way of saying, "Hey, you goofed up! Learn from this, will ya?"

Regret nudges us to rethink our decisions, whereas remorse encourages us to make amends and grow emotionally — both handy tools for self-improvement.

In fact, there's an evolutionary advantage to these feelings. In our ancient past, when we lived in small groups, actions that harmed the community could get us ostracized. A feeling of remorse after such actions could motivate us to make amends, helping us stay in the group's good graces.

So, in a way, remorse is like a social GPS, steering us towards actions that build trust and harmony in our relationships. It can help us recognize when we've overstepped a boundary or acted thoughtlessly, prompting us to make things right. Likewise, regret served as an important wake-up call in the days when missing an opportunity could be a matter of life and death.

But remember, too much of anything leads to trouble. Too much of either can tip into unhealthy guilt, so it's important to manage these emotions effectively.

What Can You Do About It?

Here are some actionable steps to manage and learn from regret and remorse, while still maintaining your sunny disposition.

  • Acknowledge your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel regret or remorse without judgment. Emotions aren't good or bad, they just are — so own them.
  • Transform regret into reflection. View regret as a signal to reassess. What's the takeaway? Could you make a different choice next time?
  • Act on remorse. If you've done something that hurts someone else, offer a sincere apology. Make amends if possible, even if it's just a heartfelt conversation. A simple, sincere “I'm sorry” can work wonders and be your life's Ctrl+Z.
  • Forgive yourself. This is crucial, folks. Everyone makes mistakes! It's essential to learn to forgive yourself.
  • Use mistakes as a springboard. Every mistake can be a growth opportunity. Use regret and remorse as fuel to better yourself and try to prevent the same mistakes from happening again. Regret and remorse are part of life. It's important to feel them, but don't let them overshadow your joy and happiness. In the end, it’s all about being mindful of our actions in the present to minimize future regrets and remorse.
  • Build a buffer. Practice patience, empathy, and understanding to buffer yourself against future remorse.

A Brighter Future

So there you have it, a journey through the fascinating world of regret and remorse. So, next time you’re recalling an embarrassing moment or an error in judgment, remember it’s okay. Regret helps us learn from our past mistakes, while remorse pushes us towards making amends and behaving more considerately in the future. Uncomfortable as they might be, regret and remorse help shape us into better, more compassionate versions of ourselves.

It’s just another regular Tuesday. You're having your third coffee of the day, silently judging the guy with socks and sandals at the other side of the café, when you suddenly recall that cringe-worthy moment from five years ago when you were overheard making fun of your roommate’s passion for animal print. Or that time you bought a pair of furry flip flops on impulse and found out you couldn’t return them.

Yikes, right? But here's the question: do you regret it, or do you feel remorse? These two emotions — often mistaken as twin siblings in our psychological family — are actually more like distant cousins. As it turns out, though, both serve a useful purpose.

A Dueling Duo

Both remorse and regret make us feel like the villains in our own story because of something unfortunate that happened in the past — and they nag us with the reminder that we played a role in it. But while both deal with our past decisions, regret and remorse are quite different.

Regret focuses on the decision itself: it's about wishing we'd zigged instead of zagged, chosen another path, or hadn’t let an opportunity slip away. It’s the emotion associated with wishing things had been different — a painful realization that our actions or decisions led to undesirable outcomes.

Remorse, on the other hand, is less about the decision and more about the aftermath. Remorse doesn't just point out our missteps. It makes us feel the emotional implications of our actions, particularly if they've hurt others. It's concerned with our actions’ impact on others and our subsequent feelings of guilt. It includes a desire to fix or make amends for the wrongdoings that caused harm to others. Remorse, friends, is that heavy feeling in your gut after you've made a boo-boo.

Your Brain, Remorse, and Regret

Certain regions — such as the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and the amygdala — work in harmony to generate feelings of regret and remorse.

In the brain, regret is mediated by an area called the orbitofrontal cortex — the same area that lights up when we’re expecting a reward. When we do something we later regret (for example, when we drink too much), the brain is flooded with neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin. This cocktail of chemicals triggers feelings of guilt, creating that sensation we've come to know as regret.

On the contrary, remorse involves the amygdala — a small almond-shaped structure associated with emotions and, importantly, empathy. Remorse boosts activity in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, signaling a deeper understanding of our missteps and their impacts on others.

A Mental Barometer

While regret and remorse are unpleasant, they can also be constructive. They’re our brain's way of saying, "Hey, you goofed up! Learn from this, will ya?"

Regret nudges us to rethink our decisions, whereas remorse encourages us to make amends and grow emotionally — both handy tools for self-improvement.

In fact, there's an evolutionary advantage to these feelings. In our ancient past, when we lived in small groups, actions that harmed the community could get us ostracized. A feeling of remorse after such actions could motivate us to make amends, helping us stay in the group's good graces.

So, in a way, remorse is like a social GPS, steering us towards actions that build trust and harmony in our relationships. It can help us recognize when we've overstepped a boundary or acted thoughtlessly, prompting us to make things right. Likewise, regret served as an important wake-up call in the days when missing an opportunity could be a matter of life and death.

But remember, too much of anything leads to trouble. Too much of either can tip into unhealthy guilt, so it's important to manage these emotions effectively.

What Can You Do About It?

Here are some actionable steps to manage and learn from regret and remorse, while still maintaining your sunny disposition.

  • Acknowledge your feelings. Give yourself permission to feel regret or remorse without judgment. Emotions aren't good or bad, they just are — so own them.
  • Transform regret into reflection. View regret as a signal to reassess. What's the takeaway? Could you make a different choice next time?
  • Act on remorse. If you've done something that hurts someone else, offer a sincere apology. Make amends if possible, even if it's just a heartfelt conversation. A simple, sincere “I'm sorry” can work wonders and be your life's Ctrl+Z.
  • Forgive yourself. This is crucial, folks. Everyone makes mistakes! It's essential to learn to forgive yourself.
  • Use mistakes as a springboard. Every mistake can be a growth opportunity. Use regret and remorse as fuel to better yourself and try to prevent the same mistakes from happening again. Regret and remorse are part of life. It's important to feel them, but don't let them overshadow your joy and happiness. In the end, it’s all about being mindful of our actions in the present to minimize future regrets and remorse.
  • Build a buffer. Practice patience, empathy, and understanding to buffer yourself against future remorse.

A Brighter Future

So there you have it, a journey through the fascinating world of regret and remorse. So, next time you’re recalling an embarrassing moment or an error in judgment, remember it’s okay. Regret helps us learn from our past mistakes, while remorse pushes us towards making amends and behaving more considerately in the future. Uncomfortable as they might be, regret and remorse help shape us into better, more compassionate versions of ourselves.

Alcohol and Mental Health
2023-07-05 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
Avoidant Attachment Triggers: Emotional Hide-and-Seek
This is some text inside of a div block.

Emotional hide-and-seek, anyone? Uncover the secret role of avoidant attachment in your everyday stress management with our latest blog.

7 min read
Read Full Article  →

You know those days when stress is piling up, and somehow, the idea of re-watching The Office for the twentieth time feels more appealing than dealing with it all? If that rings a bell, buckle up — we're about to journey into the fascinating world of avoidant attachment and its sneaky triggers.

The ABCs of Attachment Theory

Here's a typical scene. You've just wrapped up an intense phone call with a friend, and you're left feeling emotionally drained. Suddenly, the siren call of your favorite sitcom becomes too hard to resist. What's going on here?

This is what attachment theory is all about. Defined by psychologists Bowlby and Ainsworth, this theory tells us that the ways we emotionally bond with others during our early years set the tone for how we manage stress and emotional discomfort in adulthood.

Sneaking Past Feelings

Among various attachment styles, the avoidant one is like that friend who always seems to have an “exit strategy” when things get emotional.

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might find yourself shying away from emotional closeness, valuing your independence to an extreme and retreating into comfortable distractions when things get heated. Basically, when emotions start to feel like a wild roller coaster, you'd much rather be safely on the ground, watching from a distance.

A Closer Look at Avoidant Attachment Triggers

But how does an avoidant attachment style make us prefer a sitcom binge to dealing with uncomfortable emotions?

Research shows that avoidantly attached individuals tend to use distraction as their coping mechanism. Rather than grappling with their emotional discomfort, they steer their attention towards something less overwhelming.

Studies have revealed that avoidantly attached folks are more likely to shift their focus from negative emotions towards neutral or positive stimuli. This might manifest as immersing yourself in work, diving into hobbies, or turning to a comfort-inducing TV marathon.

Enter Alcohol

Have you ever declared, "I need a drink"? If that rings a bell after a tough day or an emotionally charged situation, you might want to explore the connection between avoidant attachment triggers and alcohol use.

Attachment theory suggests that our early bonding experiences shape our adult relationships and how we respond to stress. Avoidant attachment — one of these styles — can be a bit sneaky. It makes us dodge emotional closeness, stress, and anxiety.

Research tells us that those with an avoidant attachment style might be more prone to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. Alcohol can provide a temporary shield from uncomfortable feelings, offering the emotional distance that avoidantly attached folks often seek.

In other words, your Friday night glass of wine or whiskey might be your subconscious tactic to keep stress and emotional discomfort at bay. Remember, understanding this connection is the first step towards finding healthier coping mechanisms and building stronger emotional resilience.

Tackle Your Triggers

Now that we've peeked behind the curtain of avoidant attachment style, here are some steps that can help us manage these triggers better:

  • Identify your triggers. Understand what situations or emotions lead you to seek distractions. Is it conflict, criticism, or vulnerability?
  • Understand your attachment style. Recognize your patterns of avoidance. The more self-aware you are, the better equipped you'll be to manage your responses.
  • Feel your feelings. This can be tough! But allowing yourself to experience and express your emotions can be incredibly empowering.
  • Establish healthy habits. Develop strategies to manage emotional stress that don't revolve around avoidance. This could involve physical activity, mindfulness exercises, or creative pursuits.
  • Build a support network. Surround yourself with trusted friends or family members who can offer support when you need it.
  • Practice self-compassion. Remember that change is a process, not an event. Be patient with yourself and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small.
  • Seek professional help. If navigating your avoidant attachment triggers becomes too challenging, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional.

So next time you feel the urge to retreat into your favorite sitcom or reach for a glass — or bottle — of wine instead of addressing the stress at hand, remember, it might just be your avoidant attachment style playing hide-and-seek. And with these steps in your toolkit, you'll be better prepared to join the game.

Ready To Make Changes in Your Life?

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

You know those days when stress is piling up, and somehow, the idea of re-watching The Office for the twentieth time feels more appealing than dealing with it all? If that rings a bell, buckle up — we're about to journey into the fascinating world of avoidant attachment and its sneaky triggers.

The ABCs of Attachment Theory

Here's a typical scene. You've just wrapped up an intense phone call with a friend, and you're left feeling emotionally drained. Suddenly, the siren call of your favorite sitcom becomes too hard to resist. What's going on here?

This is what attachment theory is all about. Defined by psychologists Bowlby and Ainsworth, this theory tells us that the ways we emotionally bond with others during our early years set the tone for how we manage stress and emotional discomfort in adulthood.

Sneaking Past Feelings

Among various attachment styles, the avoidant one is like that friend who always seems to have an “exit strategy” when things get emotional.

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you might find yourself shying away from emotional closeness, valuing your independence to an extreme and retreating into comfortable distractions when things get heated. Basically, when emotions start to feel like a wild roller coaster, you'd much rather be safely on the ground, watching from a distance.

A Closer Look at Avoidant Attachment Triggers

But how does an avoidant attachment style make us prefer a sitcom binge to dealing with uncomfortable emotions?

Research shows that avoidantly attached individuals tend to use distraction as their coping mechanism. Rather than grappling with their emotional discomfort, they steer their attention towards something less overwhelming.

Studies have revealed that avoidantly attached folks are more likely to shift their focus from negative emotions towards neutral or positive stimuli. This might manifest as immersing yourself in work, diving into hobbies, or turning to a comfort-inducing TV marathon.

Enter Alcohol

Have you ever declared, "I need a drink"? If that rings a bell after a tough day or an emotionally charged situation, you might want to explore the connection between avoidant attachment triggers and alcohol use.

Attachment theory suggests that our early bonding experiences shape our adult relationships and how we respond to stress. Avoidant attachment — one of these styles — can be a bit sneaky. It makes us dodge emotional closeness, stress, and anxiety.

Research tells us that those with an avoidant attachment style might be more prone to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. Alcohol can provide a temporary shield from uncomfortable feelings, offering the emotional distance that avoidantly attached folks often seek.

In other words, your Friday night glass of wine or whiskey might be your subconscious tactic to keep stress and emotional discomfort at bay. Remember, understanding this connection is the first step towards finding healthier coping mechanisms and building stronger emotional resilience.

Tackle Your Triggers

Now that we've peeked behind the curtain of avoidant attachment style, here are some steps that can help us manage these triggers better:

  • Identify your triggers. Understand what situations or emotions lead you to seek distractions. Is it conflict, criticism, or vulnerability?
  • Understand your attachment style. Recognize your patterns of avoidance. The more self-aware you are, the better equipped you'll be to manage your responses.
  • Feel your feelings. This can be tough! But allowing yourself to experience and express your emotions can be incredibly empowering.
  • Establish healthy habits. Develop strategies to manage emotional stress that don't revolve around avoidance. This could involve physical activity, mindfulness exercises, or creative pursuits.
  • Build a support network. Surround yourself with trusted friends or family members who can offer support when you need it.
  • Practice self-compassion. Remember that change is a process, not an event. Be patient with yourself and celebrate each step forward, no matter how small.
  • Seek professional help. If navigating your avoidant attachment triggers becomes too challenging, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional.

So next time you feel the urge to retreat into your favorite sitcom or reach for a glass — or bottle — of wine instead of addressing the stress at hand, remember, it might just be your avoidant attachment style playing hide-and-seek. And with these steps in your toolkit, you'll be better prepared to join the game.

Ready To Make Changes in Your Life?

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Alcohol and Mental Health
2023-07-05 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
12 Celebrities With Mental Health Issues Who Are Breaking the Stigma
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Shine the light on 12 inspirational celebrities — from 'The Rock' to Adele — who courageously battle mental illness and addiction. As we embark on our own wellness journeys, draw inspiration from these bright stars who shine a light on our own potential to be our best selves.

10 min read

Reclaim Your Health With Reframe

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Read Full Article  →

When we think of celebrities, we often envision them as untouchable, superhuman entities living the dream. Yet behind the glitz and glamour lies the truth: they're just like us, with similar struggles, challenges, and emotions.

Mental health issues don't discriminate. Hollywood stars are also humans, grappling with mental health and substance abuse struggles as many of us do.

In this article, we spotlight 12 celebrities that struggle with anxiety who are courageously breaking the mental health stigma and inspiring us to embark on our own journey to well-being. Ready to learn more about celebrities who advocate for mental health? Let’s dive in!

Embracing Anxiety and Depression

A man in a suit confidently walks down a vibrant red carpet

Anxiety and depression are common yet often misunderstood conditions. Many celebrities that struggle with anxiety have used their platforms to openly discuss their experiences, providing comfort and solidarity for those grappling with similar issues:

  1. Kristen Bell: The star of The Good Place candidly shares her journey with depression and anxiety, promoting mental health issues as a part of being human. She encourages us to view these challenges not as a sign of weakness, but as a part of being human. In a Self interview, the Frozen actress describes her days before treatment like having “a generalized dark cloud over me. I felt like my real personality was in a tiny cage inside my body.” A combination of professional support, medications, and a walking routine help her manage her symptoms.
  2. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: By sharing his struggle with anxiety and depression — which date back to his University of Miami days — The Rock powerfully illustrates that even the strongest among us can face mental health difficulties.
  3. Ryan Reynolds: Known for his portrayal of Deadpool, Reynolds helps to normalize anxiety and depression through candid social posts and other conversations about his own experiences.
  4. Selena Gomez: The actress, producer, and singer — who grapples with anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder — stresses the importance of self-love and acceptance, even in the midst of her fight with lupus, an autoimmune disease. Gomez's message to us? It's okay not to be okay, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Shattering the Stigma Around Addiction

Addiction is a pervasive challenge that affects people from all walks of life, including those in the spotlight. Here are some of the celebrities talking about mental health who have focused on their struggle with substance misuse:

  1. Daniel Radcliffe: First known for his role as Harry Potter, Radcliffe admits to using excessive drinking to cope with childhood fame. He speaks about getting blackout drunk between the ages of 18 and 21, but he’s been sober since 2010.
  2. Demi Lovato: Singer-songwriter Lovato, having confronted her substance abuse, now prioritizes mental health and embraces sobriety. In the process, she offers up a powerful testament to the reality of recovery.
  3. Drew Barrymore: Producer, entrepreneur, and star of countless films and TV shows, including E.T. the Extraterrestrial, Barrymore publicly overcame addiction at a young age. She chronicled this journey in her bestselling memoir, Little Girl Lost. Her journey underscores that obstacles can be transformed into stepping stones towards growth. Today, her trademark optimism and resilience remind us that our struggles do not define us. Instead, like Barrymore, we have the power to turn our adversities into a source of strength, hope, and inspiration.
  4. Dax Shepard: Shepard’s journey emphasizes that the path to sobriety isn't always linear, but every step taken towards healing is a victory. In his podcast, “Armchair Expert,” he recounts how journaling everyday has kept him on track. His story inspires hope, reminding us that the strength to overcome our struggles lies within us all.
  5. Robert Downey, Jr.: This longtime actor (known most recently for his role as Iron Man in Marvel movies) is a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit. After grappling with substance abuse for years, Downey Jr. stands as an emblem of resilience and redemption — reminding us all that no matter how far we fall, we can rise again. His transformation echoes the truth: our past struggles don't define us, but how we face them shapes our future.

Let these journeys inspire us all to strive for our better selves, no matter what adversities we face.

Celebrities Openly Discussing Anxiety and Depression

Encouraging Openness Around Mental Health

Some celebrities have shared their experiences with less discussed, yet equally significant mental health issues.

  1. Lady Gaga: In a short film, The Power of Kindness, singer and actress Lady Gaga speaks openly about her experiences with PTSD, self-harm, and chronic pain, empowering others to seek help. What’s more, in 2012, she and her mother started a foundation called Born This Way, which champions the wellness of young people.
  2. Adele: The powerful lyricist and voice behind many chart-topping hits has shared her experience with postpartum depression — a challenge many birthing parents face.
  3. Fiona Apple: The renowned singer-songwriter, known for her raw lyrics and expressive style, has been a trailblazer not only in the music industry, but also in advocating for mental health. Diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) as a child, she also fought an eating disorder, severe anxiety, and depression in the public eye, while never shying away from discussing these issues. Her honesty and transparency are nothing short of courageous. She hasn't simply shared her struggles; she has also used her platform to dismantle the stigma around mental health, emphasizing that it's a part of our shared human experience.

Shining the Spotlight on Our Own Well-Being

Inspired by these celebrities, we can bravely face our challenges and make impactful changes to boost our mental wellness:

  • Normalize Conversations: Let's talk openly about our mental health, like Kristen Bell, Ryan Reynolds, and Fiona Apple.
  • Acknowledge Our Struggles: We can identify when something becomes problematic, just like Daniel Radcliffe and Drew Barrymore did with their addictions.
  • Embrace the Journey of Recovery: Demi Lovato's journey encourages us to take steps toward recovery, and seek professional help when we need it.
  • Promote Self-Love and Acceptance: Like Selena Gomez, we can learn to love and accept ourselves, even in our most challenging moments. Remember, it’s okay not to be okay. Give yourself some grace!

Celebrities’ public battles with mental health and addiction are a poignant reminder that no one, regardless of fame or success, is immune to mental health challenges. It's a testament to the reality of mental health issues and the strength it takes to navigate them.

By sharing their journeys, these celebs are not just contributing to the conversation on mental health, they’re offering hope to those of us facing similar struggles.

Remember, we all struggle with something. Acknowledging this and seeking help when we need it makes us strong.

When we think of celebrities, we often envision them as untouchable, superhuman entities living the dream. Yet behind the glitz and glamour lies the truth: they're just like us, with similar struggles, challenges, and emotions.

Mental health issues don't discriminate. Hollywood stars are also humans, grappling with mental health and substance abuse struggles as many of us do.

In this article, we spotlight 12 celebrities that struggle with anxiety who are courageously breaking the mental health stigma and inspiring us to embark on our own journey to well-being. Ready to learn more about celebrities who advocate for mental health? Let’s dive in!

Embracing Anxiety and Depression

A man in a suit confidently walks down a vibrant red carpet

Anxiety and depression are common yet often misunderstood conditions. Many celebrities that struggle with anxiety have used their platforms to openly discuss their experiences, providing comfort and solidarity for those grappling with similar issues:

  1. Kristen Bell: The star of The Good Place candidly shares her journey with depression and anxiety, promoting mental health issues as a part of being human. She encourages us to view these challenges not as a sign of weakness, but as a part of being human. In a Self interview, the Frozen actress describes her days before treatment like having “a generalized dark cloud over me. I felt like my real personality was in a tiny cage inside my body.” A combination of professional support, medications, and a walking routine help her manage her symptoms.
  2. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: By sharing his struggle with anxiety and depression — which date back to his University of Miami days — The Rock powerfully illustrates that even the strongest among us can face mental health difficulties.
  3. Ryan Reynolds: Known for his portrayal of Deadpool, Reynolds helps to normalize anxiety and depression through candid social posts and other conversations about his own experiences.
  4. Selena Gomez: The actress, producer, and singer — who grapples with anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder — stresses the importance of self-love and acceptance, even in the midst of her fight with lupus, an autoimmune disease. Gomez's message to us? It's okay not to be okay, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Shattering the Stigma Around Addiction

Addiction is a pervasive challenge that affects people from all walks of life, including those in the spotlight. Here are some of the celebrities talking about mental health who have focused on their struggle with substance misuse:

  1. Daniel Radcliffe: First known for his role as Harry Potter, Radcliffe admits to using excessive drinking to cope with childhood fame. He speaks about getting blackout drunk between the ages of 18 and 21, but he’s been sober since 2010.
  2. Demi Lovato: Singer-songwriter Lovato, having confronted her substance abuse, now prioritizes mental health and embraces sobriety. In the process, she offers up a powerful testament to the reality of recovery.
  3. Drew Barrymore: Producer, entrepreneur, and star of countless films and TV shows, including E.T. the Extraterrestrial, Barrymore publicly overcame addiction at a young age. She chronicled this journey in her bestselling memoir, Little Girl Lost. Her journey underscores that obstacles can be transformed into stepping stones towards growth. Today, her trademark optimism and resilience remind us that our struggles do not define us. Instead, like Barrymore, we have the power to turn our adversities into a source of strength, hope, and inspiration.
  4. Dax Shepard: Shepard’s journey emphasizes that the path to sobriety isn't always linear, but every step taken towards healing is a victory. In his podcast, “Armchair Expert,” he recounts how journaling everyday has kept him on track. His story inspires hope, reminding us that the strength to overcome our struggles lies within us all.
  5. Robert Downey, Jr.: This longtime actor (known most recently for his role as Iron Man in Marvel movies) is a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit. After grappling with substance abuse for years, Downey Jr. stands as an emblem of resilience and redemption — reminding us all that no matter how far we fall, we can rise again. His transformation echoes the truth: our past struggles don't define us, but how we face them shapes our future.

Let these journeys inspire us all to strive for our better selves, no matter what adversities we face.

Celebrities Openly Discussing Anxiety and Depression

Encouraging Openness Around Mental Health

Some celebrities have shared their experiences with less discussed, yet equally significant mental health issues.

  1. Lady Gaga: In a short film, The Power of Kindness, singer and actress Lady Gaga speaks openly about her experiences with PTSD, self-harm, and chronic pain, empowering others to seek help. What’s more, in 2012, she and her mother started a foundation called Born This Way, which champions the wellness of young people.
  2. Adele: The powerful lyricist and voice behind many chart-topping hits has shared her experience with postpartum depression — a challenge many birthing parents face.
  3. Fiona Apple: The renowned singer-songwriter, known for her raw lyrics and expressive style, has been a trailblazer not only in the music industry, but also in advocating for mental health. Diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) as a child, she also fought an eating disorder, severe anxiety, and depression in the public eye, while never shying away from discussing these issues. Her honesty and transparency are nothing short of courageous. She hasn't simply shared her struggles; she has also used her platform to dismantle the stigma around mental health, emphasizing that it's a part of our shared human experience.

Shining the Spotlight on Our Own Well-Being

Inspired by these celebrities, we can bravely face our challenges and make impactful changes to boost our mental wellness:

  • Normalize Conversations: Let's talk openly about our mental health, like Kristen Bell, Ryan Reynolds, and Fiona Apple.
  • Acknowledge Our Struggles: We can identify when something becomes problematic, just like Daniel Radcliffe and Drew Barrymore did with their addictions.
  • Embrace the Journey of Recovery: Demi Lovato's journey encourages us to take steps toward recovery, and seek professional help when we need it.
  • Promote Self-Love and Acceptance: Like Selena Gomez, we can learn to love and accept ourselves, even in our most challenging moments. Remember, it’s okay not to be okay. Give yourself some grace!

Celebrities’ public battles with mental health and addiction are a poignant reminder that no one, regardless of fame or success, is immune to mental health challenges. It's a testament to the reality of mental health issues and the strength it takes to navigate them.

By sharing their journeys, these celebs are not just contributing to the conversation on mental health, they’re offering hope to those of us facing similar struggles.

Remember, we all struggle with something. Acknowledging this and seeking help when we need it makes us strong.

Alcohol and Mental Health
2023-07-05 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
5 Simple Activities To Boost Your Mental Health
This is some text inside of a div block.

Discover five simple ways to transform your mental health as you cut down on drinking — and gain a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.

10 min read

Reclaim Your Health With Reframe

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Read Full Article  →

Imagine a gardener pruning the branches of a tree to help it grow stronger. It’s necessary to cuT back those deadened branches prohibiting growth. Like the gardener and the tree, cutting back on drinking allows your mental well-being to flourish.

While it can be challenging, cutting down on drinking is a crucial step towards a healthier mind and body — and a more fulfilling life.

If you’re wondering how to improve mental health and well-being, you’re in the right place. In this article, we'll explore five empowering activities that can boost your mental health while you're cutting down. 

1. Create Mindful Moments

Mindfulness isn't just a buzzword; it's a powerful tool for rewiring our brain's reward system, traditionally activated by alcohol. If you want to know how to fix mental health, mindfulness exercises, like deep yogic breathing and meditation, are some of the best tools that can help curb cravings and stress.

Mindful breathing is an effective tool to reduce stress and improve mental health. When we're stressed, our breath becomes shallow and rapid, signaling our brain that something is wrong. By consciously slowing down and deepening our breath, we activate the body's relaxation response, calming our nervous system and reducing anxiety.

To practice mindful breathing, take a few minutes each day to do the following:

  • Find a calm place to sit comfortably.
  • Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Remind yourself there’s no wrong way to do this.
  • Inhale deeply through your nose, feeling your belly rise, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

As you do this, notice any sensations or thoughts that arise, and gently let them go. Regularly practicing mindful breathing can help us feel more centered and grounded, even during challenging times.

2. Cultivate Gratitude for Positive Mental Health

Gratitude is a powerful tool for boosting mental health and cultivating a healthier mindset. Research has shown that regularly expressing gratitude can increase happiness, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being.

Each day, take a moment to reflect on three things you're grateful for. They can be as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a kind gesture from a friend. By focusing on the positive aspects of your life, you shift your attention away from stressors and train your brain to seek out the good.

Consider keeping a gratitude journal to track your daily reflections and remind yourself of the abundance in your life — and all the successes you’re achieving, big and small!

Ways To Improve Your Mental Health

3. Connect With Nature

Nature has a remarkable ability to calm our minds and reduce stress. Research has shown that spending time in nature can lower blood pressure, decrease anxiety, and improve mood.

Lace up your shoes and head outside. Take a leisurely stroll, breathe in the fresh air, and let the beauty of nature wash away your worries — while you’re soaking in the vitamin D. Whether it's a hike in the mountains, sitting by the ocean, or having a picnic in the park, connecting with nature can be a powerful tool in your mental health toolbox.

Odds are you’ll get a little exercise while you’re at it. This is another great tool — beneficial not only to our physical health but our mental well-being as well. When we engage in physical activity, our brain releases natural mood boosters called endorphins.

4. Reconnect With a Friend

We are social creatures: meaningful connections with others are essential for our mental health. When we feel isolated or lonely, our stress levels increase, and our overall well-being suffers.

Alcohol often serves as a social lubricant, yet it's essential to remember that genuine connection and support come from people, not drinks. Reconnecting with friends, family, or joining new social groups — like those found by volunteering or joining a local book club — can provide us with the emotional support we need during this transition.

Make an effort to reach out to friends, family, or support groups, and engage in activities that foster connection. This could be as simple as having a phone call with a loved one, joining a community of like-minded people, or volunteering in your community. Nurturing relationships and building a support network not only reduces stress but also creates a sense of belonging and purpose.

From something as simple as a video call, to experimenting together with a new mocktail, getting a walk at a nearby park, or venturing out with a new crafting hobby — there are plenty of ways to have fun without alcohol.

5. Prioritize Sleep for Good Mental Health

Quality sleep is a cornerstone of mental health, helping to consolidate memory, regulate mood, and recharge our brain.

Some of us drink because we think it helps us sleep — although the research shows the opposite is true. Drinking actually disrupts our sleep quality.

Revamp your sleep routine. If your nighttime often includes a nightcap, try these adjustments to establish good sleep hygiene:

  • Avoid screens 1 hour before bedtime.
  • Ditch the alcohol for a fun mocktail or a nice cup of herbal tea.
  • Steer clear of caffeine 3 to 7 hours before bedtime.
  • Give yourself a bedtime. There’s a reason it works for kids!
  • Create a sleep-friendly environment: keep it dark with blackout curtains, invest in comfortable bedding, and use a white noise machine if you need it. Studies show between 60°F and 67°F (15.6°C and 19.4°C) is the ideal sleep temperature
  • Leave your laptop — and work time — for somewhere other than your bed. Consider bringing a book, magazine, or crossword puzzle to bed with you instead.

Imagine a gardener pruning the branches of a tree to help it grow stronger. It’s necessary to cuT back those deadened branches prohibiting growth. Like the gardener and the tree, cutting back on drinking allows your mental well-being to flourish.

While it can be challenging, cutting down on drinking is a crucial step towards a healthier mind and body — and a more fulfilling life.

If you’re wondering how to improve mental health and well-being, you’re in the right place. In this article, we'll explore five empowering activities that can boost your mental health while you're cutting down. 

1. Create Mindful Moments

Mindfulness isn't just a buzzword; it's a powerful tool for rewiring our brain's reward system, traditionally activated by alcohol. If you want to know how to fix mental health, mindfulness exercises, like deep yogic breathing and meditation, are some of the best tools that can help curb cravings and stress.

Mindful breathing is an effective tool to reduce stress and improve mental health. When we're stressed, our breath becomes shallow and rapid, signaling our brain that something is wrong. By consciously slowing down and deepening our breath, we activate the body's relaxation response, calming our nervous system and reducing anxiety.

To practice mindful breathing, take a few minutes each day to do the following:

  • Find a calm place to sit comfortably.
  • Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Remind yourself there’s no wrong way to do this.
  • Inhale deeply through your nose, feeling your belly rise, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

As you do this, notice any sensations or thoughts that arise, and gently let them go. Regularly practicing mindful breathing can help us feel more centered and grounded, even during challenging times.

2. Cultivate Gratitude for Positive Mental Health

Gratitude is a powerful tool for boosting mental health and cultivating a healthier mindset. Research has shown that regularly expressing gratitude can increase happiness, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being.

Each day, take a moment to reflect on three things you're grateful for. They can be as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a kind gesture from a friend. By focusing on the positive aspects of your life, you shift your attention away from stressors and train your brain to seek out the good.

Consider keeping a gratitude journal to track your daily reflections and remind yourself of the abundance in your life — and all the successes you’re achieving, big and small!

Ways To Improve Your Mental Health

3. Connect With Nature

Nature has a remarkable ability to calm our minds and reduce stress. Research has shown that spending time in nature can lower blood pressure, decrease anxiety, and improve mood.

Lace up your shoes and head outside. Take a leisurely stroll, breathe in the fresh air, and let the beauty of nature wash away your worries — while you’re soaking in the vitamin D. Whether it's a hike in the mountains, sitting by the ocean, or having a picnic in the park, connecting with nature can be a powerful tool in your mental health toolbox.

Odds are you’ll get a little exercise while you’re at it. This is another great tool — beneficial not only to our physical health but our mental well-being as well. When we engage in physical activity, our brain releases natural mood boosters called endorphins.

4. Reconnect With a Friend

We are social creatures: meaningful connections with others are essential for our mental health. When we feel isolated or lonely, our stress levels increase, and our overall well-being suffers.

Alcohol often serves as a social lubricant, yet it's essential to remember that genuine connection and support come from people, not drinks. Reconnecting with friends, family, or joining new social groups — like those found by volunteering or joining a local book club — can provide us with the emotional support we need during this transition.

Make an effort to reach out to friends, family, or support groups, and engage in activities that foster connection. This could be as simple as having a phone call with a loved one, joining a community of like-minded people, or volunteering in your community. Nurturing relationships and building a support network not only reduces stress but also creates a sense of belonging and purpose.

From something as simple as a video call, to experimenting together with a new mocktail, getting a walk at a nearby park, or venturing out with a new crafting hobby — there are plenty of ways to have fun without alcohol.

5. Prioritize Sleep for Good Mental Health

Quality sleep is a cornerstone of mental health, helping to consolidate memory, regulate mood, and recharge our brain.

Some of us drink because we think it helps us sleep — although the research shows the opposite is true. Drinking actually disrupts our sleep quality.

Revamp your sleep routine. If your nighttime often includes a nightcap, try these adjustments to establish good sleep hygiene:

  • Avoid screens 1 hour before bedtime.
  • Ditch the alcohol for a fun mocktail or a nice cup of herbal tea.
  • Steer clear of caffeine 3 to 7 hours before bedtime.
  • Give yourself a bedtime. There’s a reason it works for kids!
  • Create a sleep-friendly environment: keep it dark with blackout curtains, invest in comfortable bedding, and use a white noise machine if you need it. Studies show between 60°F and 67°F (15.6°C and 19.4°C) is the ideal sleep temperature
  • Leave your laptop — and work time — for somewhere other than your bed. Consider bringing a book, magazine, or crossword puzzle to bed with you instead.
Alcohol and Mental Health
2023-07-05 9:00
Alcohol and Mental Health
Gaslighting and Alcohol: A Dangerous Cocktail
This is some text inside of a div block.

This blog explores the harmful interplay of gaslighting and alcohol in relationships. It provides insights into recognizing and coping with gaslighting, particularly when alcohol is involved. The post emphasizes the importance of self-trust, seeking support, setting boundaries, and considering professional help for alcohol-related issues

23 min read

Find Support With Reframe

Although it isn’t a treatment for alcohol use disorder (AUD), the Reframe app can help you cut back on drinking gradually, with the science-backed knowledge to empower you 100% of the way. Our proven program has helped millions of people around the world drink less and live more. And we want to help you get there, too!

The Reframe app equips you with the knowledge and skills you need to not only survive drinking less, but to thrive while you navigate the journey. Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge.

You’ll meet millions of fellow Reframers in our 24/7 Forum chat and daily Zoom check-in meetings. Receive encouragement from people worldwide who know exactly what you’re going through! You’ll also have the opportunity to connect with our licensed Reframe coaches for more personalized guidance.

Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience. We recently launched our in-app chatbot, Melody, powered by the world’s most powerful AI technology. Melody is here to help as you adjust to a life with less (or no) alcohol.

And that’s not all! Every month, we launch fun challenges, like Dry/Damp January, Mental Health May, and Outdoorsy June. You won’t want to miss out on the chance to participate alongside fellow Reframers (or solo if that’s more your thing!).

The Reframe app is free for 7 days, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying it. Are you ready to feel empowered and discover life beyond alcohol? Then download our app through the App Store or Google Play today!

Read Full Article  →

The film Gaslight is a 1944 psychological thriller directed by George Cukor. The plot revolves around the beautiful Paula, who marries the charming Gregory. After moving into her late aunt's house, Paula starts to question her sanity as Gregory manipulates her into believing she's losing her mind. He subtly dims and brightens the gaslights, insists she's imagining things, and fabricates all sorts of deceptions so that he can search for hidden jewels in the house. The term "gaslighting" arose from this film and has since been adopted into psychology and popular culture, and it was even named Merriam-Webster’s 2022 “term of the year.”

How can we deal with gaslighting statements, and what about alcoholic gaslighting in particular? If you’re wondering how to deal with  gaslighting and alcoholic manipulation, it’s time to look deeper.

What Is Gaslighting?

A man and woman talking in a kitchen

At its core, gaslighting seeks to distort a person’s sense of reality. By making someone question their own memories, perceptions, or even sanity, the gaslighterassumes a dominant position in a relationship, often wielding power and control over the other person.

Imagine being told repeatedly that your memories are false, that events you clearly remember never happened, or that you are too emotional or irrational. Over time, the consistent denial and manipulation can cause us to doubt our own experiences, leading to confusion, anxiety, and a lost sense of self-worth. In essence, the gaslighter erases our reality and replaces it with a version that serves their own needs and agenda.

When we think of gaslighting vs. lying, they’re really very similar. Lying is saying something untrue with the intent to deceive. Gaslighting goes a step further: it’s lying, but it doesn’t stop with trying to make the other person believe something, it tries to make them doubt their own mental faculties and perception of the world too.

By understanding gaslighting through real-world scenarios, we can equip ourselves better to identify and counteract its effects. Let’s explore a few:

Gaslighting Statements in a Romantic Relationship

Maria and John have been dating for two years. One evening, Maria brings up a promise John had made about spending their anniversary together. John, however, tells her that he never made such a promise and that she must be misremembering. He goes on to say, “You've been so forgetful lately. Maybe you're too stressed or imagining things." As time progresses, John consistently denies promises or remarks he's made, making Maria doubt her memory and judgment. One night, after both had some drinks, Maria confronts John about a message she saw on his phone from another woman. John denies any wrongdoing and turns the table on Maria, claiming her perceptions are wrong because she had been drinking and is too paranoid.

Maria starts doubting herself over time, believing that maybe she's too emotional or forgetful. She becomes anxious about confronting John on any topic, fearing she might be "misremembering" again.

There’s also the common idea that people are more likely to cheat when they’ve been drinking, “drunk cheating.” Psychology suggests that alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes us more likely to do things we might not otherwise do while sober. This is absolutely true, and sometimes, the cheaters might try to gaslight their way out of responsibility for their actions.

Gaslighting Statements in a Friendship

Marissa and Allison have been best friends since college. Recently, whenever Marissa shares her achievements or good news, Allison downplays it or changes the subject. When Marissa finally musters up the courage to discuss this with Allison, Allison denies behaving this way and accuses Marissa of being "overly sensitive." She goes on to say, “Remember that party last week when you thought I was ignoring you? You were just overthinking because you had too much to drink.”

Marissa starts feeling isolated and thinks maybe she's expecting too much from her friend. The more she doubts her feelings, the more control Allison gains over their relationship.

Gaslighting at Work

Nathan works in a marketing firm and recently pitched an idea in a team meeting. A week later, his manager, Mr. Roberts, presents a strikingly similar idea as his own. When Nathan confronts him privately, Mr. Roberts denies it and suggests Nathan is being "too possessive" over ideas. He further implies that Nathan might be mistaken, saying, “I noticed you had a drink at lunch the other day. Maybe that’s clouding your memory. It’s just work, Nathan. Ideas come and go.”

Nathan starts second-guessing his contributions at work and becomes reluctant to share his ideas. He feels undermined and loses confidence in his abilities, while Mr. Roberts continues to exploit his subordinates without accountability. Gaslighting alcoholics became Mr. Roberts’s route to ill-gotten success.

What Is Alcoholic Gaslighting?

As in the above examples, when alcohol is involved, the gaslighter may use it as a tool to further their strategy. They may claim that the victim was too drunk to understand or remember what happened as it was happening, or they may accuse the victim of being too drunk to remember correctly in the current moment. The gaslighter may also use alcohol as a way to lower the victim's defenses and make them more susceptible to manipulation.

There are several ways alcohol plays into the dynamics of gaslighting:

  • Blurring reality: Alcohol, by its very nature, clouds our cognitive faculties. Memories of events might be hazy or entirely forgotten after a night of heavy drinking. A gaslighter can take advantage of these gaps, filling them with false narratives or denying events outright. The victim, already uncertain due to the effects of alcohol, becomes an easier target for manipulation.
  • An excuse for behavior: Often, gaslighters will use alcohol as a scapegoat for their actions. Comments like "I was too drunk to know what I was saying" or "You can't blame me, I was intoxicated" serve as deflective tactics. By attributing their abusive behavior to alcohol, gaslighters absolve themselves of responsibility.
  • Blaming the victim: In a twist of irony, the gaslighter might even blame the victim for their own drinking habits or actions taken while intoxicated. They might claim that the victim's behavior or emotions drove them to drink, shifting the blame and further destabilizing the victim's sense of reality.
  • Reinforcing dependence: Over time, victims might consume alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with the emotional turmoil caused by gaslighting. This can lead to a vicious cycle with the victim's increased dependence on alcohol making them even more susceptible to manipulation.

Each of these scenarios showcases the gaslighter's attempt to replace the victim's reality with their twisted version, using doubt as their primary weapon.

While gaslighting is harmful on its own, when combined with alcohol, it becomes an even more volatile mix. Alcohol, known to impair judgment, memory, and perception, offers a fertile ground for gaslighting to thrive. It can provide a gaslighter with ample opportunities to intensify their manipulative tactics.

How To Deal With Gaslighting Through Self-Awareness

Here's an essential consideration: self-reflection. It's easy to discuss gaslighting as a tactic employed by a distant outsider. Yet, each of us should introspect about our actions, especially when alcohol is involved. Under its influence, some may unintentionally exhibit gaslighting behaviors, insisting that events happened differently, or minimizing another’s feelings, suggesting they're overreacting.

Understanding this dynamic is the first defense. If you find yourself questioning your own or another’s reality repeatedly, especially after drinking events, it might be time to seek external perspectives. Talk to trusted individuals or professionals, as seeking help is the first major step in making effective changes and adopting healthier behaviors.

Remember, while alcohol may provide transient solace, it might deepen the wounds in the long run. Awareness, validation, and self-care are the pathways to recovery.

The Takeaways

Breaking free from the shackles of gaslighting, especially when intertwined with alcohol, is challenging but not impossible. Recognizing the signs is the first step towards healing. Victims should trust their feelings and memories, and confiding in trusted friends or professionals can provide validation. For alcoholics, gaslighting is a very real threat. We can be vulnerable when we’re drinking, and some people may try to take advantage of that.

The perception that “alcoholics lie” runs counter to the classic expression, “in vino veritas” (Latin for “in wine, there is truth”). For some, drinking may devolve normally honest communication into gaslighting, or people may try to use gaslighting as a way to hide their alcohol use.

It's essential to understand the gravity of this toxic relationship between gaslighting and alcohol. While alcohol might offer temporary relief, in the long run, it compounds the problem. Seeking help, setting boundaries, or distancing ourselves from the gaslighter and the environment where alcohol is present might be necessary steps toward recovery.

an illustration of what gaslighting can sound like

How To Deal With Gaslighting: Helpful Strategies

The first significant step in dealing with gaslighting is recognizing its signs. Gaslighting can be subtle, and its effects are cumulative, which means that its impact builds over time, making it harder to spot in the early stages. Look for these signs:

  • Constant doubt: If you're finding that you are incessantly questioning your own memory or perceptions — wondering if events transpired as you remember them or doubting your emotional responses — you might be under the influence of gaslighting.
  • Feeling on edge: Another sign is the pervasive feeling of "walking on eggshells" around a particular individual. If you constantly feel the need to be cautious with what you say or do, afraid of their reactions or potential confrontations, this could be an indication.
  • Selective memory or "forgetting": Gaslighters often "forget" or deny certain events or conversations, especially if they were in the wrong or are trying to manipulate a situation. If someone consistently has selective amnesia about things that put them in a bad light or that contradict their narrative, it's a sign of gaslighting.
  • Trivializing feelings: Another tactic in the gaslighter's arsenal is making you feel that your emotions or reactions are overblown or irrational. If every time you express hurt, sadness, or frustration, it's met with, "You're too sensitive" or "You're overreacting," it's a subtle way of saying that your feelings don't matter or are wrong.
  • Twisting the truth: Gaslighters are adept at taking what you say and twisting it, often turning things around to make them about themselves or to make you look like the "bad guy." Over time, you may become fearful of speaking up because it always seems to backfire on you.
  • Reinforcing doubts with "evidence": Gaslighters might sometimes provide misleading "proof" to support their claims. For example, if they're trying to convince you that you're forgetful, they might intentionally misplace items and then blame you for it.

Gaslighting can be isolating. It can make you feel trapped in a maze where every turn leads to more confusion. In such circumstances, external validation and support become crucial.

Sharing your experiences with close friends or family can offer much-needed perspective. They can validate your feelings, provide alternate viewpoints, and even share if they've noticed the same behaviors from the gaslighter.

Sometimes, the emotional turmoil caused by gaslighting might necessitate professional intervention. Mental health professionals, with their training and expertise, can provide tools and strategies to cope. They can also help in reaffirming your perceptions, ensuring you realize that you're not alone in your experiences.

Some areas might have support groups for individuals who have experienced gaslighting. Engaging in such groups can be enlightening — you can hear others' stories, learn from their coping strategies, and gain strength from the shared experiences.

It's essential to remember that your experiences, memories, and feelings are valid. They form the core of who you are, and no one, no matter how crafty or manipulative, should be allowed to take that away from you.

Dealing With Gaslighting and Alcohol

Once the recognition of gaslighting sets in, it’s imperative not just to identify but also combat it. Here are other steps you can take when dealing with gaslighting:

  1. Trust in yourself: Doubting ourselves is precisely what the gaslighter wants us to do. Counteract this by reaffirming your trust in your memories, perceptions, and feelings. Your emotions and experiences are valid and deserve acknowledgment.
  2. Maintain a record: Keeping a journal or diary of instances that left you feeling baffled or uncomfortable can be immensely beneficial. Documenting these occurrences serves a dual purpose: It offers a clear pattern of the gaslighter's manipulative behavior and provides tangible evidence you can reference, especially during moments of doubt.
  3. Engage in reality-checking: When you're being gaslighted, your reality can seem distorted. One strategy to counteract this is to develop a system of reality checks. This might involve seeking feedback from a neutral third party about specific incidents. For instance, if someone has told you an event didn't occur as you remember it, discuss the event with someone else who was present to verify your memory. Over time, these reality checks can help bolster your confidence in your own perceptions.
  4. Develop self-care rituals: Gaslighting can take a significant emotional toll, draining your energy and impacting your mental well-being. Regular self-care rituals can help counteract these effects. This could be anything from meditative practices, regular exercise routines, engaging in hobbies, or even just taking time off to read or relax. By prioritizing your well-being, you create a protective buffer against the negative impacts of gaslighting.

If you're dealing with the toxic combination of alcohol and gaslighting, it's important to take steps to protect yourself. This may involve setting boundaries around alcohol use, seeking professional help for alcohol misuse, or even removing yourself from the situation entirely.

Also, if you're the one who has been drinking, consider seeking help for your alcohol use. Alcohol can cloud your judgment and make it harder to recognize and deal with gaslighting. There are many resources available, including therapy, support groups, and apps like Reframe, which can help you change your relationship with alcohol.

If the gaslighter is the one with the alcohol problem, encourage them to seek help. However, remember that you can't force someone to change if they're not ready. It's important to prioritize your own safety and well-being.

The Takeaways

Gaslighting and alcohol can create a toxic cocktail that can damage your mental and emotional health. Recognizing the signs of gaslighting, trusting your own perceptions, and seeking support are crucial steps in dealing with this form of manipulation. If alcohol is part of the situation, addressing this issue can also be incredibly beneficial. Remember, you're not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate these challenges!

The film Gaslight is a 1944 psychological thriller directed by George Cukor. The plot revolves around the beautiful Paula, who marries the charming Gregory. After moving into her late aunt's house, Paula starts to question her sanity as Gregory manipulates her into believing she's losing her mind. He subtly dims and brightens the gaslights, insists she's imagining things, and fabricates all sorts of deceptions so that he can search for hidden jewels in the house. The term "gaslighting" arose from this film and has since been adopted into psychology and popular culture, and it was even named Merriam-Webster’s 2022 “term of the year.”

How can we deal with gaslighting statements, and what about alcoholic gaslighting in particular? If you’re wondering how to deal with  gaslighting and alcoholic manipulation, it’s time to look deeper.

What Is Gaslighting?

A man and woman talking in a kitchen

At its core, gaslighting seeks to distort a person’s sense of reality. By making someone question their own memories, perceptions, or even sanity, the gaslighterassumes a dominant position in a relationship, often wielding power and control over the other person.

Imagine being told repeatedly that your memories are false, that events you clearly remember never happened, or that you are too emotional or irrational. Over time, the consistent denial and manipulation can cause us to doubt our own experiences, leading to confusion, anxiety, and a lost sense of self-worth. In essence, the gaslighter erases our reality and replaces it with a version that serves their own needs and agenda.

When we think of gaslighting vs. lying, they’re really very similar. Lying is saying something untrue with the intent to deceive. Gaslighting goes a step further: it’s lying, but it doesn’t stop with trying to make the other person believe something, it tries to make them doubt their own mental faculties and perception of the world too.

By understanding gaslighting through real-world scenarios, we can equip ourselves better to identify and counteract its effects. Let’s explore a few:

Gaslighting Statements in a Romantic Relationship

Maria and John have been dating for two years. One evening, Maria brings up a promise John had made about spending their anniversary together. John, however, tells her that he never made such a promise and that she must be misremembering. He goes on to say, “You've been so forgetful lately. Maybe you're too stressed or imagining things." As time progresses, John consistently denies promises or remarks he's made, making Maria doubt her memory and judgment. One night, after both had some drinks, Maria confronts John about a message she saw on his phone from another woman. John denies any wrongdoing and turns the table on Maria, claiming her perceptions are wrong because she had been drinking and is too paranoid.

Maria starts doubting herself over time, believing that maybe she's too emotional or forgetful. She becomes anxious about confronting John on any topic, fearing she might be "misremembering" again.

There’s also the common idea that people are more likely to cheat when they’ve been drinking, “drunk cheating.” Psychology suggests that alcohol lowers inhibitions and makes us more likely to do things we might not otherwise do while sober. This is absolutely true, and sometimes, the cheaters might try to gaslight their way out of responsibility for their actions.

Gaslighting Statements in a Friendship

Marissa and Allison have been best friends since college. Recently, whenever Marissa shares her achievements or good news, Allison downplays it or changes the subject. When Marissa finally musters up the courage to discuss this with Allison, Allison denies behaving this way and accuses Marissa of being "overly sensitive." She goes on to say, “Remember that party last week when you thought I was ignoring you? You were just overthinking because you had too much to drink.”

Marissa starts feeling isolated and thinks maybe she's expecting too much from her friend. The more she doubts her feelings, the more control Allison gains over their relationship.

Gaslighting at Work

Nathan works in a marketing firm and recently pitched an idea in a team meeting. A week later, his manager, Mr. Roberts, presents a strikingly similar idea as his own. When Nathan confronts him privately, Mr. Roberts denies it and suggests Nathan is being "too possessive" over ideas. He further implies that Nathan might be mistaken, saying, “I noticed you had a drink at lunch the other day. Maybe that’s clouding your memory. It’s just work, Nathan. Ideas come and go.”

Nathan starts second-guessing his contributions at work and becomes reluctant to share his ideas. He feels undermined and loses confidence in his abilities, while Mr. Roberts continues to exploit his subordinates without accountability. Gaslighting alcoholics became Mr. Roberts’s route to ill-gotten success.

What Is Alcoholic Gaslighting?

As in the above examples, when alcohol is involved, the gaslighter may use it as a tool to further their strategy. They may claim that the victim was too drunk to understand or remember what happened as it was happening, or they may accuse the victim of being too drunk to remember correctly in the current moment. The gaslighter may also use alcohol as a way to lower the victim's defenses and make them more susceptible to manipulation.

There are several ways alcohol plays into the dynamics of gaslighting:

  • Blurring reality: Alcohol, by its very nature, clouds our cognitive faculties. Memories of events might be hazy or entirely forgotten after a night of heavy drinking. A gaslighter can take advantage of these gaps, filling them with false narratives or denying events outright. The victim, already uncertain due to the effects of alcohol, becomes an easier target for manipulation.
  • An excuse for behavior: Often, gaslighters will use alcohol as a scapegoat for their actions. Comments like "I was too drunk to know what I was saying" or "You can't blame me, I was intoxicated" serve as deflective tactics. By attributing their abusive behavior to alcohol, gaslighters absolve themselves of responsibility.
  • Blaming the victim: In a twist of irony, the gaslighter might even blame the victim for their own drinking habits or actions taken while intoxicated. They might claim that the victim's behavior or emotions drove them to drink, shifting the blame and further destabilizing the victim's sense of reality.
  • Reinforcing dependence: Over time, victims might consume alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with the emotional turmoil caused by gaslighting. This can lead to a vicious cycle with the victim's increased dependence on alcohol making them even more susceptible to manipulation.

Each of these scenarios showcases the gaslighter's attempt to replace the victim's reality with their twisted version, using doubt as their primary weapon.

While gaslighting is harmful on its own, when combined with alcohol, it becomes an even more volatile mix. Alcohol, known to impair judgment, memory, and perception, offers a fertile ground for gaslighting to thrive. It can provide a gaslighter with ample opportunities to intensify their manipulative tactics.

How To Deal With Gaslighting Through Self-Awareness

Here's an essential consideration: self-reflection. It's easy to discuss gaslighting as a tactic employed by a distant outsider. Yet, each of us should introspect about our actions, especially when alcohol is involved. Under its influence, some may unintentionally exhibit gaslighting behaviors, insisting that events happened differently, or minimizing another’s feelings, suggesting they're overreacting.

Understanding this dynamic is the first defense. If you find yourself questioning your own or another’s reality repeatedly, especially after drinking events, it might be time to seek external perspectives. Talk to trusted individuals or professionals, as seeking help is the first major step in making effective changes and adopting healthier behaviors.

Remember, while alcohol may provide transient solace, it might deepen the wounds in the long run. Awareness, validation, and self-care are the pathways to recovery.

The Takeaways

Breaking free from the shackles of gaslighting, especially when intertwined with alcohol, is challenging but not impossible. Recognizing the signs is the first step towards healing. Victims should trust their feelings and memories, and confiding in trusted friends or professionals can provide validation. For alcoholics, gaslighting is a very real threat. We can be vulnerable when we’re drinking, and some people may try to take advantage of that.

The perception that “alcoholics lie” runs counter to the classic expression, “in vino veritas” (Latin for “in wine, there is truth”). For some, drinking may devolve normally honest communication into gaslighting, or people may try to use gaslighting as a way to hide their alcohol use.

It's essential to understand the gravity of this toxic relationship between gaslighting and alcohol. While alcohol might offer temporary relief, in the long run, it compounds the problem. Seeking help, setting boundaries, or distancing ourselves from the gaslighter and the environment where alcohol is present might be necessary steps toward recovery.

an illustration of what gaslighting can sound like

How To Deal With Gaslighting: Helpful Strategies

The first significant step in dealing with gaslighting is recognizing its signs. Gaslighting can be subtle, and its effects are cumulative, which means that its impact builds over time, making it harder to spot in the early stages. Look for these signs:

  • Constant doubt: If you're finding that you are incessantly questioning your own memory or perceptions — wondering if events transpired as you remember them or doubting your emotional responses — you might be under the influence of gaslighting.
  • Feeling on edge: Another sign is the pervasive feeling of "walking on eggshells" around a particular individual. If you constantly feel the need to be cautious with what you say or do, afraid of their reactions or potential confrontations, this could be an indication.
  • Selective memory or "forgetting": Gaslighters often "forget" or deny certain events or conversations, especially if they were in the wrong or are trying to manipulate a situation. If someone consistently has selective amnesia about things that put them in a bad light or that contradict their narrative, it's a sign of gaslighting.
  • Trivializing feelings: Another tactic in the gaslighter's arsenal is making you feel that your emotions or reactions are overblown or irrational. If every time you express hurt, sadness, or frustration, it's met with, "You're too sensitive" or "You're overreacting," it's a subtle way of saying that your feelings don't matter or are wrong.
  • Twisting the truth: Gaslighters are adept at taking what you say and twisting it, often turning things around to make them about themselves or to make you look like the "bad guy." Over time, you may become fearful of speaking up because it always seems to backfire on you.
  • Reinforcing doubts with "evidence": Gaslighters might sometimes provide misleading "proof" to support their claims. For example, if they're trying to convince you that you're forgetful, they might intentionally misplace items and then blame you for it.

Gaslighting can be isolating. It can make you feel trapped in a maze where every turn leads to more confusion. In such circumstances, external validation and support become crucial.

Sharing your experiences with close friends or family can offer much-needed perspective. They can validate your feelings, provide alternate viewpoints, and even share if they've noticed the same behaviors from the gaslighter.

Sometimes, the emotional turmoil caused by gaslighting might necessitate professional intervention. Mental health professionals, with their training and expertise, can provide tools and strategies to cope. They can also help in reaffirming your perceptions, ensuring you realize that you're not alone in your experiences.

Some areas might have support groups for individuals who have experienced gaslighting. Engaging in such groups can be enlightening — you can hear others' stories, learn from their coping strategies, and gain strength from the shared experiences.

It's essential to remember that your experiences, memories, and feelings are valid. They form the core of who you are, and no one, no matter how crafty or manipulative, should be allowed to take that away from you.

Dealing With Gaslighting and Alcohol

Once the recognition of gaslighting sets in, it’s imperative not just to identify but also combat it. Here are other steps you can take when dealing with gaslighting:

  1. Trust in yourself: Doubting ourselves is precisely what the gaslighter wants us to do. Counteract this by reaffirming your trust in your memories, perceptions, and feelings. Your emotions and experiences are valid and deserve acknowledgment.
  2. Maintain a record: Keeping a journal or diary of instances that left you feeling baffled or uncomfortable can be immensely beneficial. Documenting these occurrences serves a dual purpose: It offers a clear pattern of the gaslighter's manipulative behavior and provides tangible evidence you can reference, especially during moments of doubt.
  3. Engage in reality-checking: When you're being gaslighted, your reality can seem distorted. One strategy to counteract this is to develop a system of reality checks. This might involve seeking feedback from a neutral third party about specific incidents. For instance, if someone has told you an event didn't occur as you remember it, discuss the event with someone else who was present to verify your memory. Over time, these reality checks can help bolster your confidence in your own perceptions.
  4. Develop self-care rituals: Gaslighting can take a significant emotional toll, draining your energy and impacting your mental well-being. Regular self-care rituals can help counteract these effects. This could be anything from meditative practices, regular exercise routines, engaging in hobbies, or even just taking time off to read or relax. By prioritizing your well-being, you create a protective buffer against the negative impacts of gaslighting.

If you're dealing with the toxic combination of alcohol and gaslighting, it's important to take steps to protect yourself. This may involve setting boundaries around alcohol use, seeking professional help for alcohol misuse, or even removing yourself from the situation entirely.

Also, if you're the one who has been drinking, consider seeking help for your alcohol use. Alcohol can cloud your judgment and make it harder to recognize and deal with gaslighting. There are many resources available, including therapy, support groups, and apps like Reframe, which can help you change your relationship with alcohol.

If the gaslighter is the one with the alcohol problem, encourage them to seek help. However, remember that you can't force someone to change if they're not ready. It's important to prioritize your own safety and well-being.

The Takeaways

Gaslighting and alcohol can create a toxic cocktail that can damage your mental and emotional health. Recognizing the signs of gaslighting, trusting your own perceptions, and seeking support are crucial steps in dealing with this form of manipulation. If alcohol is part of the situation, addressing this issue can also be incredibly beneficial. Remember, you're not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate these challenges!

Alcohol and Mental Health